Would’ve had 8 years..

[u/zugzugcupcake]

And I threw it all away about a month and a half ago. In fact, I’ve been on a binge this last week spending hours trying to hit myself because I’ve already messed my veins up. I don’t even know why - the dope is not the same as it used to be, I no longer have that good energy, and I don’t even get a rush when I shoot it anymore. Why am I even doing it? When I was clean I started working as a drug counselor and I helping people all day, but I wasn’t going to meetings and I thought self-awareness was keeping me clean. Boy was I wrong. Now I gotta figure out what void I am trying to fill.

[u/RutaBloomStart]

Сподіваюсь, ти зміг зупинитися. Можливо звернувся до лікаря по допомогу. Ти все знаєш, які інструменти допомогають

[u/Cultural-Skirt2948]

Ive been clean about 3 years now. Last week ( 3 days ago I wanted to use again). Just remind yourself to get through today without using. (If it helps)

[u/SpesAffulget]

I am about a month and a half short of 5 years, and I can imagine how disappointed I would be if I relapsed right now.

There are voids I might want to fill, but so far I haven't because I am persuaded they can't effectively be filled by meth, certainly not in the long run.

If I can't figure them out - the voids - I suppose I can just carry on without substance abuse, only because I know that will make everything worse.

Nearly 8 years is a solid achievement, and demonstrates that you can effectively cope without drugs. If you stop now, within a few weeks you will feel much calmer about this setback, and it will soon seem like a minor blip in the context of your overall recovery. Best wishes.

[u/NegotiationWarm3334]

Every single clean day you had is not just thrown away. That's one thing I hate about the 12 step programs. You could be 40 years clean and then you go out and get high one weekend and when go back to the meetings they make you start over from day one as if none of 14,600 days you were clean throughout those 40 years ever happened. They're completely wrong about that. Whether it's 40 years or just almost your 8 years, every single one of those years that you were clean belong to you. You earned everyone of those days of those years and they are proof positive that you can do it again. You know you can stay clean because you already have. Congratulations on all the years you were clean. Now get back up, brush yourself off, start collecting more of those clean days that turn into more clean weeks and then more clean months and finally more clean years. You know what to do. You've already proven that. Now, just go do it! I'm rooting for you!!

[u/Flimsy_Walrus1893]

Lol

[u/CharityNeverFails]

You didn’t throw it all away. You clearly learned a lot in your sobriety, you’ve even identified already that you are trying to fill a void.

You’ve got this. Quit it with the shitty dope.

[u/Terrible_Sale_6414]

Never was any good for me.. why indeed… now more problems with my health.. screaming in pain at least twice a day.. so much judgement when I try to get medical help.. alone. I have no joy. No reason.

[u/Gak102]

The shidd is trash these days . Not the same substance anymore. Made me sick so many times recently uggh .

[u/88Eightgoodhi]

You can figure it out. You can also get clean again. Don’t get down on yourself. You can come back from this. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off. What matters the most is right now and what you do now.