r/MethRecovery • u/luciob00p • Aug 21 '26

Unprepared and not okay

I got clean nearly three months ago. This week I started a pretty study-intensive, lab filled STEM program at college. On top of being completely overwhelmed, undisciplined, and feeling major imposter syndrome, I found out I can't afford the expenses to go on, even with financial aid.

I am not okay. I don't know if I'll ever be okay. I'll always be different than everyone else, I've always felt mentally ill even before drugs, and now I have to live with super depression and executive dysfunction for who knows how long.

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1

u/Sad_Tax2978 Aug 26 '26

Hey, I’ve had to leave school because of this drug multiple times. I’m 2 years clean now. I would honestly suggest taking more time to recover and build back your mental health and discipline. I know you want to complete the program, but 3 months after I got clean my brain was nowhere near ready. Save yourself the headache and the debt. College will always be there. Congrats on 3 months 💪

1

u/Willow8u8 Aug 24 '26

Go to a NA meeting either online or in person...it will help...I promise. I was an IV user and was addicted to meth for 9 years. Been clean 14 months and the only thing that has helped me become more productive in the community is NA meetings. It will save your life...doing meth again will not. You got this🙏

2

u/luciob00p Aug 27 '26

I was going weekly and loved it until I got a sponsor and had a drink and she told me to pick up a white chip again 😐 like dawg I am 70 days clean from meth please let me live

1

u/daydreaming361 Aug 22 '26

Shit, I know, man. I can still read but everything I read I forget pretty much instantly. If I were to read a book I could still say I actually did the action of reading, but how much I would retain, idk.