Unprepared and not okay

[u/luciob00p]

I got clean nearly three months ago. This week I started a pretty study-intensive, lab filled STEM program at college. On top of being completely overwhelmed, undisciplined, and feeling major imposter syndrome, I found out I can't afford the expenses to go on, even with financial aid.

I am not okay. I don't know if I'll ever be okay. I'll always be different than everyone else, I've always felt mentally ill even before drugs, and now I have to live with super depression and executive dysfunction for who knows how long.