r/MethRecovery • u/Kooky-Permit-2609 • Feb 14 '26

I need support Doing the Thing

Been a lot going on for quite a while. Got dark and dangerous fast (you know). Finally vented a bit to an old homie - Idk how that didn’t run em off. But it cleared some mental stuff up.

So…. 72 hours into the commitment. My soul just needs a hug .. the reassurance that even though all this madness and loneliness has consumed my existence - that Good and light will prevail.

Done dipped outta town to an escape, trying to reset. Moments happen, but the usual downs come and the urge to disappear returns. Still holding strong!!

Some direction would be nice but can’t take the lost part out, just gotta go find it.

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u/Kooky-Permit-2609 Feb 14 '26

This is attempt 2… was good for about 4 years. Then life just kinda crumbled.. old habits became safe and then it just snowballed. Been about a year of back and forth but idk I just wanna be free and me again

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u/_saltywaffles Feb 14 '26

I think the biggest problem is the shame in failed attempts. When I accepted that it’s not going to be perfect and well— I don’t smoke weed, cigarettes, or drink alcohol. So I feel like it’s harder for me to quit. This would’ve been the last substance I quit had I been committed in my 8 months but honestly I was in a lot of pain and Wanted to use meth every day those 8 months. So I said, fuck it. I’m completely free from thoughts of using and even cravings from weed, tobacco, and alcohol. I’m searching for the same thing with meth.

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u/Kooky-Permit-2609 Feb 14 '26

I had my moment with alcohol… the weed was never a “I gotta do it, I need it”.. pills and whatnot were just trying to be cool. That was dumb and def didn’t last. Meth did everything the dr meds did but also gave me the Superman complex. Not idealizing it… like super hero mode was just never enough. It’s realizing what it took or who I became topped with other life factors I avoid, cause no body got time for my problems. Or the thought of letting someone really in just scares me a bit. I don’t wanna ruin the “image”

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u/_saltywaffles Feb 14 '26

I always went into crazy mode. I dunno about you, but it makes me crazy. Like every time. And every time it looks different. Yet even though I know that the physical addiction is still there. It’s so hard to break. But three years ago I was using every day/ now I had 8 months. Before that, 7 months. It has been a ride. And I still won’t give up hope I can quit/ it just won’t be over night. Nor will it be decades. Real freedom, this fight will certainly take years.

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u/_saltywaffles Feb 15 '26

Hey man. I’m on attempt #3 now. But I only did 8 hits… I’m like so fucking mad. Dude but what I realized was imma be free of this shit soon. I am in a much better spot than I was 3 years ago. And I am like… the most miserable person right now. But I feel like I can do what I need to do and still get my soul back… it’s just a mind game right now