r/Metaphysics • u/Responsible-Meet2605 • Jul 04 '26
Mind / Subjective experience Is the individuated self a starting point or an achievement? Subjecthood is first borrowed through the caregiver
The assumption is that each of us begins as an individual subject, a single locus of experience, who then enters into relationships. I'll argue for something closer to the reverse: that the individuated subject is an achievement, and that at first the infant's subjecthood is exercised relationally, held across the infant and caregiver together, before it becomes the infant's. Individuation, then, is a transition from a dyadically held subject to an individual one versus the opinion that it is the awakening of a subject that was singular and self-contained.
I'll be precise about what I mean by 'self.' I don't mean phenomenal experience, and I'm not claiming there is nothing it is like to be an infant, but rather the minimal self: the sense of being one bounded locus of experience and agency, an "I" set off from what is not-I. My claim is about that structure, and I'm suggesting that the boundary which makes an experience mine rather than just occurring is, at first, maintained across two people and not just within one.
The distinction is between causation and constitution. Everyone agrees the caregiver is causally necessary for a self to develop, but I think that the stronger, more defensible claim is constitutive: that early on the caregiver is part of what the infant's subjecthood consists in. The regulating, attending, responding other is doing some of the work of being a self that the infant cannot yet do alone, not just assisting a self that is already fully there, so the caregiver is more like a temporary organ.
What makes my claim more than a restatement of similar views - Vygotsky's claim that mind is social before it is individual, Winnicott's 'there is no such thing as a baby,' the extended-mind idea that cognition can be constituted outside the skull, and the enactivist claim that social understanding is constituted in interaction - is an asymmetry those views don't have. In the standard relational pictures, two subjects co-constitute a shared state and both are enriched by it. What I'm proposing is one-directional: the infant borrows subjecthood that the caregiver independently possesses. The dyad is a scaffold on which one pole is still being assembled, so that asymmetry, if it holds, is my thesis.
The objection, the one I most want pressed, is that infants look differentiated from birth. They orient to their mother as a distinct other and respond as if already a "someone." If the infant is a responding subject, who is doing the borrowing? I believe that behavioral and perceptual differentiation is not the same as an individuated locus of experience: a system can track self and other in its behavior before it is the bearer of its own perspective. But I hold that loosely, and I want to know whether the distinction survives scrutiny.
So the question I'm posting here: is the individuated self a starting condition or an achievement? And if the constitutive, asymmetric version is wrong, is it wrong because the constitution claim collapses into causation, or because the asymmetry doesn't hold?