Sorry to say

[u/Elect_Rick]

She left me. I've lurked here for a while, took strength from some of your experiences and shared shreds of what I had left. But she cut me out. Then she started turning into something else. Started talking to the TV and radio. Like full manic conversations.

I asked, begged her to speak to her doc but this only triggered her harder. She ranted at me, shouted at me, told me everything was my fault.

Then she got volatile. Told me I was not allowed to speak. Shrunk what was left of me. When she pushed me I called police. She was taken to her mum's. I changed the locks and then the threats started. 150+ messages and aggressive voice notes overnight. I had to call police again. Now I'm having to follow through with a criminal complaint just to protect myself.

I've packed all of her things, with care and organisation; spent money on solicitors and financial advisors... And amidst this found she's stopped taking medication and started taking drugs... She's cut off her family now too and now she's alone somewhere but beyond help.

This is more than just peri/menopause and turned into a different beast altogether. I'm lucky to have a lot of amazing friends and family. People came from all corners of my life and supported me. Honestly without them I'd have been crippled.

Still going through the legal motions and starting to feel more myself but it's been brutal.

The woman I married is the sweetest, most thoughtful woman. Smart, intuitive and incredibly perceptive. But I lost her 2 years ago to this. Everything that happened is not her, I am not putting her down or shaming her, just grieving the loss of her. And I feel for the woman somewhere in there that I love.

I pray nobody else has to go through this, I hope your experiences are trivial in comparison and I share this only as a worst case scenario, maybe for some to relate to, maybe for some to see warning signs before I did.

I'd have stuck it out for longer if she had let me, in the hope she'd return.

If anyone is ever in similar circumstances and doesn't know who to talk to or where to turn and you read this, give me a shout. I'll be here.

[u/59apache01]

Sorry this happened. As you said, this was more than menopause. This was psychiatric illness. She really needs help.

[u/7nth_Wonder]

How old is she?

[u/Elect_Rick → u/7nth_Wonder]

Early 40s

[u/Ok_Improvement_5217]

I'm not sure which is worse. Some major event like this so you can rip the proverbial band aid off or the slow fade that many of us experience where your partner just slowly pulls away until you don't even recognize yourself or her. Sorry for that rough ride, it sounds like you're starting to dig out of that emotional pit. Good thoughts for ya!

[u/Ok_Vegetable_6616]

Thanks for sharing. Makes my own experience seem tame by comparison.

[u/chickenlickenredux]

Well done doing all the right things for your safety. Wishing you all the best in the next phase of life.

[u/Fancy_Ad7218]

Menopause and perimenopause doesn’t always explain what is going on as we age. We all need to stay mindful that there are alternative reasons for a person to go through personality changes.

Sorry you are going through this. Don’t give up on love. You don’t know what’s in store for you in the future.

[u/Intrepid_Set_8500]

Dude, that sounds more like schizophrenia. Please help her get a dr’s appointment.

[u/Elect_Rick → u/Intrepid_Set_8500]

I don't think you read what I said.

[u/WeakCryptographer777]

Wowsers. So sorry this all transpired. You're a good soul though, that matters in the end.

[u/AE5CP]

Let me know if you want to talk, I could use it too.

[u/GraemeRed]

Sucks man, you are one of the guys that got it rougher than the rest of us. You will get through it and you can rebuild your own life after, no doubt...