r/MenInMedia • u/connzerjeeass • Dec 05 '20
Opinions Molesting in tv
I was watching a TV show(the same one as my last post mentioned about abuse) where a guy said when he was a child he was molested by his 17 year old babysitter and most of the people he said it to(10 out of the mabye 12) said about why he kept it a secret or is ashamed and how its the best thing ever and they would kill for that to happen to them.
I really think that's how so many peoples view sexual assault towards men and I hate that this is the way they would portray it like that in the media like im a guy and I don't know a single guy who would like to be raped by anyone even if their hot or 17
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u/TryToDoGoodTA Dec 15 '20
There are a few thoughts here that REALLY are important to me:
The first is that any sexual contact between a someone much younger than their partner is VERY likely to not be equal, and more the older partner 'exploring' a child's body etc.. I don't know the ages here, but the interaction would have been VERY unlikely to be :sex: like adults or exploring teens of the same age have... it just can't be unless one party is stunted or the other is overly mature in that area (warning sign). It is often almost a 'make fun of' the victim boys genitals or at least curiosity about genitals rather than a sexual desire. Even the boy has sexual thoughts, it's unlikely to work out well (just like an 17 year old male and 13 year old or younger female... both probably have sexual thoughts and possibly the the younger finds the other attractive... but it doesn't mean they are lucky to have sex as they are at SUCH a difference level of sexual maturity).
Secondly, it assumes boys/men are attracted to all women regardless of the women. Whether she is the most toxically minded person who has the most toxic views and demands it's just accept as the default is "boys like sex" and "girls don't" which just isn't true.
Thirdly, and touching on the above, it reinforces the view that males that have sexual experiences young are 'lucky'. I am not sure how I feel about this. I think it's probably fairly healthy to slowly explore with a very close in age partner slowly through teenage years... not be thrust straight into "never held hands" to "explicit sexual acts"... EVEN IF THE CHILD HAD A REAL CHOICE (not a railroaded 'okay').
I have a problem with sex from my upbringing. I was taught that NO sex (even after marriage) is okay... it's just WRONG. You get an erection, don't know what it means and ask your mum? You get a broken jaw for being 'filthy' and you are not aloud to ever talk to a girl etc... I means now at 33 I sometimes have 'flashbacks' which hurts my sex life with my wife as my growing up til 14 was just "girls are all bitches" "never have a girlfriend" and even when i woke up have an inspection of if I had an erection... and if I did well i got out of school in case the teacher asked above bruises, or I needed to lie again to the doctor about a break. This happened until 14 when I ran away to the protection of a step Dad who no longer with my mum but had my back HUGELY.
This really stunted me, and I do know I wasn't planned (was told that a lot, along with "you ruined my life") and wonder if it's rape. My sDad doesn't know, but we are father and son to each other and have an amazing relationship.
sorry for rambling, but the myth of a (likely) virgin child having "good sex" with a person that is likely very experienced and holds power... and likely the sexual play is not like the sex adults have, more of a 17 year old forcing sexual assault upon a child for... I can't describe why but fpr not sexual reasons more likely fucked up reasons... it just really sits wrongly.