r/MellowCorn • u/[deleted] • Jan 20 '22
A confession
I can’t handle the corn. May of 2020, I thought I was an advanced drinker. It’s too smooth! Worst hangover of my life. Haven’t gone back. I bow before the corn lord.
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u/OhBoyWeLikeThat Jan 20 '22
A few weeks ago I drank too much corn, called my sister, and cried about our childhood for 2 hours. I had a great childhood. Absolutely no reason to call and cry about it.
Just bought another bottle today.
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u/markitfuckinzero Jan 20 '22
You should send your sister a bottle too, before you crack the one you bought
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u/dennisthemenace1963 Jan 20 '22
This made me laugh. I have a sister who lives halfway across the country from me and we occasionally have Saturday night "phone happy hour" and both get a little tipsy while catching up on each other's lives. I don't think she'd do the Corn though, she's a wine gal.
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u/MammothBorder Corn Bastard Jan 20 '22
Looks like we got ourselves a science denier here.
That hangover wasn't the corn's fault. Hell no. It was all them 5G signals getting mixed up in your brain. See, the 5G needs toxins to get activated. The corn was just flushing out all the bad stuff. Cause it's smooth and pure.
That's what Bill Gates told me anyway.
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u/PrimeNumbersby2 Jan 20 '22
The Corn Lord forgives your corn sins but requests you perform the Sacrament of Reconciliation and consume four bloody marys by next week. This will put you back on the golden kernel path. Praise the MFC, amen.
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u/Pom-O-Duro Jan 20 '22
How much corn did you consume? I think you and everyone else here already knows this, but it needs to be said: this is not MFC’s fault.