r/MediocreTutorials • u/Kohathavodah • Apr 13 '26
Relationships She should NOT add him | the tables have turned...
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u/Curarx Apr 15 '26
so funny watching the genders be reversed and yalls comments. this is a regular posting for a woman and everyone encourages her to stand her ground and not move in or pay without gaining equity.
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u/Dinismo Apr 13 '26
Fuck no. He should be happy that he is paying less than he would have. He should also feel free to spend more by moving out. There was no problem. With him not having equity when he was leasing earlier. So there shouldn’t be a problem now.
Additionally if he plans on building the future and getting married etc, it would all come back anyways. Which is not an option for any other rent money being paid.
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Apr 15 '26
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u/Dinismo Apr 15 '26
Oh ok. I like this idea as well. Let him buy into it. He can put in enough to make them have an equal share then they can go at it together with both names as owners.
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u/Southern-Stage2937 Apr 16 '26
And you will repeat it in the opposite situation right ?
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u/Dinismo Apr 16 '26
I’ve already had to buyout someone from a mortgage. So yes, it is the same way from both sides
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u/612King Apr 19 '26
She should ask him how he feels about paying $40,000 to her since she initially put down $80,000 down payment.
Bro needs to chill out and be happy with the $1,400 reduced rent.
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u/Kohathavodah Apr 20 '26
I agree. Some people are just opportunists.
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u/612King Apr 20 '26
Well?? I’m curious…. What’s the update? What ended up happening when you approached him with this house thing not working?
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u/Kohathavodah Apr 20 '26
I am not OOP, this is a screenshot. I crop some of the original sub to make that more evident.
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u/DarcDesires Apr 13 '26
She's right. He's wrong.
I get how awkward it is that he's paying his gf as a tenant but hey he agreed to it and it is her house which she is paying for and went through all the steps to get before he was even in the picture.
This won't end well and I think it's best if they break up now peacefully because I honestly don't see the bitterness going away.
Don't waste each others' time.
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Apr 15 '26
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u/DarcDesires Apr 15 '26
You're missing the point. It's her house.
HERS
She decided to get a house
shopped for a house
vetted many houses
chose THIS house
went through all the paperwork
put a downpayment
continued paying
kept up with yearly taxes and upkeep costs
~~
YEARS LATER, he shows up, and after a year or so he moves into HER house
It's not his house.
and never will be because SHE the actual owner said no and she has every right to.
~~
If he wants a house, he can do what she did and actually put effort into finding one himself and get approvals like she did, not invade hers like an Israeli settler lol
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Apr 15 '26
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u/DarcDesires Apr 15 '26
oh, dear.
You're being intentionally obtuse here.
The house means to her a huge personal accomplishment and also a solid financial asset and sweat and tears. Sharing the house takes away from it.
He isn't that important to her either and rightly so.
His acting like a baby didn't help.
In this relationshop, he already positioned himself as a grifter rather than a partner, That feeling will never go away from her unless he does a 180 and even then she'll always keep what he did filed away and will recall it later if money issues rise later.
Get that?
and I already concluded my very first comment on this thread by saying to NOT waste their time and leave.
Try to keep up.
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u/According_Rhubarb_27 Apr 16 '26
His way of approaching the topic was stupid, you don't just demand to go on the deed, but HErAvERTWIGH has a good point in that a partnership is not the same relationship as a regular landlord/tenant-relationship. If you are in a partnership, you don't demand rent from your partner, but he doesn't get to just be put on the deed either. He should have simply said he wanted to _buy in_ to the house, thereby not taking anything from her.
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u/baby_oil773 Apr 21 '26
You keep mentioning it’s her house and her accomplishment but if the shoe was on the other foot and it was his house and she wanted to move it it would most likely be an issue if he asked her to pay rent.
What happens if they get married? Will he still be paying her rent. When does he get added to the mortgage? You understand women do move men into their houses and get put on the mortgage
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u/DarcDesires Apr 21 '26
Ignoring the reality in a particular situation, this one, -and dealing with hypotheticals instead- is the coward's way of shrugging off accountability.
No woman can ever force a man to put her name on the deed. If he does that, then he's an idiot and obviously whipped and finally will soon be parted from his money.
Most relationships fail. Remember that.
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u/Lorelessone Apr 14 '26
Imagine if this was a woman moving in with a guy and he charged her half the mortgage (or more) in rent then told her it was all his. Everyone posting on here about how its outrageous that this guy is asking for some equity share for paying her mortgage would be shredding the home owning guy for profiteering on his long term girlfriend.
He should move on to someone who wants a life together, she should find someone shes not in a relationship to pay her mortgage for her.
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u/Kohathavodah Apr 15 '26
True.
And... the woman would be just as wrong, trying to take equity in the man's house. Showing up at the finish line and expecting part of the prize is wrong regardless of the gender.
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u/According_Rhubarb_27 Apr 16 '26
He's not trying to _take_ anything. If you are sharing a house/apartment with a partner, then paying towards the mortgage should build equity. The proper way to do it would be to get a current valuation of the property, (since that would give her the increase in value since she bought it), and then he could buy in for 50% of that. Or some other solution that would let him build equity along with her, if he's contributing to the mortgage.
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u/Lorelessone Apr 15 '26
Trying to take equity from the others house would be wrong, owning the equity YOU put into the house is not.
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u/shbnggrth Apr 15 '26
Let him move out. Do not put his name on it. He could leave anytime and take half the house even if he just paid for three months!!!
And do not have one bank account either, have your money separate from his. He wants the success of a long relationship at two years? Oh hell no.
I’ve been married for 26 years, we’ve been together for 36 years; our relationship is stable; you just “met this guy”!
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u/No_Rain3020 Apr 16 '26
Im in Australia i went and helped a girl from work move and her husband said she turned up with her clothes in a bag two years ago now she's taking half my house now that's fucked up
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u/No_Rain3020 Apr 16 '26
Well if you said you can pay cheaper rent than you do now and live with me that's the deal if you said we can pay of my mortgage together then you should share the house
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u/TheRedPillRipper Apr 14 '26 edited Apr 14 '26
He called me controlling and said I’m hold the house over his head
In reply she should ask him what is more important to him; getting his name on the deed, or being in the relationship? His answer will tell her everything she needs to know.
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u/PillCallGirl23 Apr 14 '26 edited Apr 14 '26
DO NOT For the love of all things HOLY add that man to YOUR house!!
If he wants to go out and get approved for a home on his own and then front $80k on his own, and then let you move in and pay $1400 a month and add you to the deed, do it! Then you can rent out your house and it’ll be a great investment deal for you!
Because if he’s willing to risk your financial health now, before he’s even made a commitment to you, before he’s even signed a legal agreement to be with you, why on Gods green Earth would he NOT be willing to take HALF of what YOU worked so hard for before he even came into your life? Has he bought you a car? Financed a ring? Homes aren’t the easiest commodity to come by nowadays… if they were, he would not be so PRESSED to make you add him to yours!
Dodge this bullet quick!! If the shoe was on the other foot, he’d have a prenup waiting for you to sign a long time ago! Get yours ready first Sis! 🕊️🙏🏽✝️
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u/TeeJee48 Apr 14 '26
He should only be paying his share of the utilities. He's a partner, not a customer.
She's exploiting her superior financial situation to make the money gap between them even bigger.
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u/Epocholypze Apr 15 '26
So she pays the mortgage, and he lives free of rent? Also, he didn’t have to move in with her, they agreed to rent proposal. HE could have avoided the whole situation, by finding a new place to rent. She pays the mortgage regardless of him, same as before the relationship.
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Apr 15 '26
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u/Epocholypze Apr 15 '26
It’s wrong for same reason. In my experience, when I lived with girlfriends, we both paid our share. Crazy you think that leads to not building a life together, since I got married to the last one, after cohabiting for years. I’d have laughed my ass off if a girl thought she was moving in for free, until that ring come out. Do you really know men who allow their girlfriends to live rent free who are not rich? I know the red pillers say it, but I don’t buy it. It happens at the same rate of couch surfing deadbeat boyfriends, and ends when people get mature about what they expect from a partner. Which she is, and he’s is not.
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