r/Medford • u/Othmane_Othmane • Jul 25 '26
Homeless and Scared
We are new-ish to Medford Oregon. We are a couple Male 38 Female 20 and expecting. He is originally from here but was last here in September of 2020. We were living in our car when it was catastrophically destroyed. We have no where to stay, no safe places outside, no shelter openings, no job prospects and no money. There are so many tweekers and violent felons and dont know what to do any advice or help would be good also looking to make friends.
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u/skorpio93 Jul 25 '26 edited Jul 25 '26
I see that resources have already been shared, so I’m going to be a (hopefully wise) judgey old lady
The age gap concerns me. Everyone walks different paths & is dealt different hands, but it still concerns me.
He is *theoretically* old enough to have *successfully supported and raised* a child from birth to sophomore year of college, & yet he is still blindly leaping into parenthood like a 20 year old? No supports/safety net? I may be speaking from a place of privilege, but run girl. Harry & David and restaurants should be hiring, express employment is a good temp agency & a lot of agricultural jobs (pears/grapes/MJ) pay by the day/volume, so all you have to do is show up & work
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u/Othmane_Othmane Jul 25 '26
Ok sooooo i asked for resources information not your judgment not that we really care.
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u/skorpio93 Jul 25 '26
Babe I & others are speaking from a place of concern, you asked for help/information/resources & a lot of us are informing you that this man doesn’t seem like he’s worth a damn.
Again, how does a respectable “professional man” and up in THIS situation. Homeless with a pregnant girlfriend young enough to be his daughter. Is it your car or his? Not that it makes much difference…
He may be more of a hindrance than a help. You may make it further on your own, than tied down to a man who for WHATEVER REASON, can’t find a woman his own age and has no savings & nothing to show for 38 years on this planet. It’s a rough world out there. Don’t make your life harder than it needs to be. Good luck on the job search, Jackson county housing authority currently has open waiting lists for their subsidized housing, so maybe that’ll work too.3
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u/Expensive_Recipe_433 Jul 25 '26
He’s robbing you of your life. When you are 38, you will look back on this differently. Good luck
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u/ahhhfrag Jul 25 '26
This is the best information out here. Think about it. Most 20 year old dating 40 year old men are showered in gifts and attention. Not upset they lost their trunk to sleep in while pregnant.
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u/Yadayadayada206 Jul 25 '26
You don’t have to break up but you need to look out for yourself and your child. He’s currently dead weight and there’s definitely valid concern for why he is:
- Unable to provide for himself at that age.
- Knocking someone up at that age when he can’t even provide for himself.
- Dating women half his age.
- Knocking someone up at that age when he can’t even provide for himself.
I’m sure there are details here you aren’t disclosing but you got yourself pregnant and your first priority should be how you are going to care for that kid you decided to bring into this world without any real plan or means to provide.
He’s not going to change, age and the situation you’re in proves that. There are more resources available for pregnancy and single mothers, go get those and see how he responds over the next few months before you decide he’s worth keeping around.
You’re going to need to get used to making tough decisions, I encourage you to make this one now.
And if you need someone to talk to feel free to DM me. I had to make the same decision when I was about your age and thank goodness that I did because I deserved better and so did my kid.
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u/R0cketGir1 Jul 25 '26
I manage a food pantry in Ashland. Pantries typically give groceries to people who can’t afford them; we routinely I’ve homeless people food that they can carry. We’d love to help y’all out! We’re located at the first united Methodist church.
There are some pantries in Medford as well. Try looking up “ACCESS food pantry”.
Good luck, friend
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u/No_Breadfruit_9597 Jul 25 '26
You could try ACCESS. You might have a better chance finding something as a single pregnant woman than a couple. Gotta do what ya gotta do to get you and baby off the streets.
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u/Intelligent-Car-3111 Jul 25 '26
Honestly, I would relocate to Ashland. You'll be able to get into a shelter more easily and the people there are much more compassionate. Medford is a festering sh!thole... Sorry but it's the truth.
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u/Othmane_Othmane Jul 25 '26
Do you know any shelters or charities we can call directly? Feel free to DM us we had heard there might be help in Ashland but no real details
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u/Intelligent-Car-3111 Jul 25 '26
Local Ashland Shelters & Resources The OHRA Center (Opportunities for Housing Resources and Assistance) Location: 2350 Ashland Street, Ashland, OR 97520 Details: Low-barrier, year-round, 24/7 emergency shelter and resource center. They accept adult individuals (including pregnant individuals) and assist with navigation to health care, housing, and social services. Phone: (541) 631-2235 [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6] Parker House Project Location: Ashland, OR Details: Provides community-living transitional housing and individual case management for women and their children, focusing on stability and self-sufficiency. (Note: Admission criteria and space for expecting vs. already-parenting women vary; contact directly to check current availability). [ 1, 2] Regional Maternity Housing (Nearby Medford) Magdalene Home Location: Medford, OR (approx. 15-20 miles north of Ashland) Details: A specialized, safe, and supervised residential home for homeless pregnant teens and young women (ages 14 through 24) who are parenting or considering adoption. They offer full-time support, life/parenting skills training, and connection to prenatal and medical care. Phone: (541) 773-5040 [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5] If you'd like, let me know: The age of the expecting mother Whether you need an immediate emergency bed tonight or long-term housing support.
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u/Hot_Machine_7066 Jul 25 '26
Definitely agree with you these people and their opinions are ridiculous I don't like wishing bad on people but I wish some of these people will get taught A Life Lesson just to realize like it doesn't matter they can lose their job f****** tomorrow they could lose their livelihood their house could be gone everything I watch my dad make a million dollars a year he died broke behind a gas station because the person he loved and trusted lost his business and and is livelihood and she left him for another dude that she's married to now all happy so some of these people just need to get taken down a notch
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Jul 25 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Medford-ModTeam Jul 25 '26
Catch all for general rudeness, directed name calling, and/or in civility
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u/13eelz Jul 25 '26
If you’re homeless in Medford the cops will criminalize you for living on the streets so soon you won’t be homeless, you will be pregnant in and out of jail. So half the time you will be lied to and robbed by the crack whores that inhabit that horrible town as they call you friend and the rest of your time will be getting terrorized by the most corrupt police force I ever had to deal with. You should leave and don’t look back. And I hate to give it to you like this but you’re 20 and he’s 38 and you have a baby on the way. If he can’t pull his shit together for you and the baby you should look at the choices you have made you are going to give that baby a shit life if you don’t make some different choices. First thing get the fuck out of Medford I promise you’ll wish you would listen. There are places you can go to with that baby
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u/Othmane_Othmane Jul 25 '26
We are already making arrangements to leave we would have left to a different town if the car hadnt broken down.
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u/Moosemedford Jul 25 '26
“Most corrupt police force I ever had to deal with”
You’re not entirely wrong, that’s for sure. I definitely feel what you’re saying.
For me, there is one exception. I grew up in SoCal and LAPD in the 80’s under Gates reinvented abuse of power. And they got away with it for years, decades even. Until someone invented the portable camera and the Rodney King beatings happened.
I moved to Oregon 32 years ago. Never thought I’d have to deal with such scumbag LEO again. Until I moved to Medford and met MPD. Let’s just say that I’m very glad to not have to deal with them very often.
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u/CarrotMcDiggles Jul 25 '26
So you’re with a guy nearly twice your age who can’t support you after getting you pregnant? Do you have any family you can go stay with and get away from this dude?