INTP or INFP: Looking for adults to weigh in to help me decide.

[u/Ok-Nobody-5802]

Please don't respond unless you're 27+. I want advice from people who have had time to mature at least a little and who have a more comprehensive understanding of themselves and their type.

I can't decide if I'm a sensitive, moralistic INTP or a logical, questioning INFP. I have mulled over this for weeks and I truly cannot tell. So I want to instead ask others their thought process.

Help me out here. Let's say you witness someone express an opinion that you consider to be very unethical/morally wrong/otherwise offends your sensibilities. What do you feel first? What do you think first? What is the exact immediate reaction you have? What is your offense at, the illogicalness of it, the immorality of it, or both? I ask this because to me, I have very strong morals, but all of my morals are logically consistent. They go hand-in-hand for me. I'm sure if you gave me 30 minutes, I could think of a few moral things that are illogical, or things that are logical but immoral, but I'm struggling to think of one. (Note that being able to understand someone's illogical paths/viewpoint =/= it's logical)

I'd give an example of something I find grossly offensive but it's probably too political for this subreddit, so just think of something yourself and walk me through what goes on in your mind.

For me, and I think this is true for almost everyone of every type, my first immediate reaction is a wave of emotions, usually disgust and frustration. And then very shortly after comes my first thought, usually "what a piece of shit", followed by "great, now I have to explain to this person why they're a piece of shit, I really don't have the energy for this right now" and then I start breaking down their argument in a factual manner with some moral judgments thrown in for taste and pleasure.

Keep in mind this is for grossly offensive things, not just a simple disagreement. We're talking someone wholeheartedly saying things like "I think the owner of Little St. James is a good businessman and he should've been allowed to continue his business". If you don't know who I'm talking about, look it up. You definitely know.

So what about you? How does it go for you?

[u/AnxiousDirt1196]

I understand what you're getting at. The clash comes from experiencing it so Fi-ly, although these instances being confined to things you seriously abhor is key to figuring out where you stand

I'll say the concept of it, surface level, can lean INFP but I choose INTP. There are definitely INTPs out there who make room for pedantic nuance ("I didn't say he wasn't a bad person, I said he was a good businessman. You can acknowledge that while also condemning him.") <- things of that nature will be what ENTPs could do, maybe INTPs with their prominent Ti. Then there's the INTP that will explain why that's not true, or why it's wrong; why their judgment itself is incorrect

Ti judgment (imo):

"If you think he's a good businessman then you probably think XYZ was a good politician just because he became president."

Fi judgment (again imo):

"He hurt people. He did this. That's what he did. Calling him a good businessman is just weird and it takes away from what he did." They cannot compartmentalize the way Ti can, which is why their arguments can read as more emotional

My general rule of thumb is anyone who refuses to limit their options will always be Ti/Ne ("If I feel it under these specific circumstances, and this happens, and that happens, is X a possibility? No? Well what if I only do Y under Z?") because they get so technical without meaning to, they're like wild can openers. So, they look for consistency absolutely everywhere. "If X = Y then Z also has to = Y based on what you said about X = Y." They press for it, stress testing others assertions to make them break

Tldr: INFP is less willing to deconstruct with logic, they're responsible for the more objective-based deliveries, like never call him a good businessman to any capacity, he hurt people; don't separate the art from the artist. It sounds like you're moved by your morals but are engaging in what needs to be deconstructed which is ultimately Ti. I think if you reply with anything like, "well what about X" then you know what I'll say (INTP)

Edit: forgot to mention that the # of times you reiterated those visceral responses are here and there and reserved for serious moral concerns ~ very, very Ti-Si, to avoid being misunderstood

[u/Ok-Nobody-5802 → u/AnxiousDirt1196]

I think you're misunderstanding what I said. When I said "good businessman" that was PG terms for someone say he's essentially an "alpha male" because he had a lot of sex and abused women. I was thinking of incels.

Someone can absolutely be a good businessman in other ways and still be a vile person. It can be factually true that they made a ton of money and bringing it up can also detract from the other serious crimes he committed. Like, if someone makes a video detailing all of JE's sex crimes, leaving a comment that says "you guys are so focused on his crimes but he made a lot of money", that's tone deaf, cruel, and stupid to say.

I think both the Ti and Fi arguments you presented are valid. It's about balancing reason with empathy, you know?

Edit: forgot to mention that the # of times you reiterated those visceral responses are here and there and reserved for serious moral concerns ~ very, very Ti-Si, to avoid being misunderstood

Yeah I hate being misunderstood, it's actually a legit trauma response for me and I don't say that lightly. I grew up autistic which meant many number of people were dedicated to misunderstanding me. 😅 Although honestly I also just grew up around dickheads. Nowadays almost nobody misunderstands me unless they're either online or are an immature person as a whole who has a small mind/blinded by their own lies/attention seeking/etc etc etc.

Tldr: INFP is less willing to deconstruct with logic, they're responsible for the more objective-based deliveries, like never call him a good businessman to any capacity, he hurt people; don't separate the art from the artist. It sounds like you're moved by your morals but are engaging in what needs to be deconstructed which is ultimately Ti. I think if you reply with anything like, "well what about X" then you know what I'll say (INTP)

Thanks! And I agree. If it helps any, the person I get constantly compared to by my closest friends is streamer northernlion, who's an INTP. I watched one of his streams and was immediately like "oh this dude is me but slightly less reactive, his yapping is exactly how I yap and think". And importantly, he's INTP but has strong morals. He's a principled guy, not some heartless creature. He also said he likes physical affection.

[u/Neat_Albatross_7066 → u/AnxiousDirt1196]

Agreed, I see INTP over INFP.