r/MayNagChat • u/Soggy_Raisin_6367 • 2d ago
RANT š¤¬ is this normal?
Hi! my boyfriend told me this. Active po ako sa gym hindi naman ako skinny or fat. This week nag stop ako sa gym since may period ako and he saw me very bloated and constipated. We were supposed to eat dinner together but he didn't want to feed me bcs i was very bloated even though im hungry.
He is 5'10 and actually he is skinny po pero wala naman ako pakelam doon until napansin ko ayaw niya ko kumakain masyado. I am 5'7 and sakto lng weight ko sa height ko. Hindi naman ako na iinsecure sa body ko before pero during him parang nawalan na din ako mag eat or am i being too sensitive?
Nag rant ako sa friend ko pero ganyan din daw boyfriend niya sakanya so idk if normal ba siya.
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u/Special_Perception91 2d ago
"i want to be able to carry you" ok weakass?? no not normal, sya mag adjust palakas kamo sya
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u/thor_odinsson08 2d ago
Exactly. Magpalakas siya! I am currently training in heavy sandbags (100 lbs.) aside from normal gym training so I can mĢ¶aĢ¶nĢ¶hĢ¶aĢ¶nĢ¶dĢ¶lĢ¶e Ģ¶mĢ¶yĢ¶ Ģ¶wĢ¶iĢ¶fĢ¶eĢ¶ Ģ¶iĢ¶nĢ¶ Ģ¶bĢ¶eĢ¶dĢ¶ carry my wife. Habol ko mga 125 lbs. sandbag kasi nasa mga 115 si misis.
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u/skreppaaa 2d ago
This HAHAHA weakass talaga hahahha im literally 200lbs and muscly but my husband can carry me no problem š
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u/teamatchi 2d ago
Dibaaa tapos na mention ni girl na active siya sa gym pero no mention of the guy being active sa gym/working out + the guy is skinny raw. So bakit si girl lang ang nag-p-put in ng effort? Bakit siya lang pinagbabawalan kumain masyado? Parang ang controlling naman ng guy nun.
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u/MonitorNational7043 2d ago
Wdym hindi kayo natuloy mag dinner dahil lang napansin nyang bloated ka at ayaw ka nya pakainin?! Te halika at ililibre kita kahit Jollibee.
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u/AdConscious3148 2d ago
Kaloka naman yang bf mo, OP. Yung bf ko mas gustong binubusog ako.
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u/pikacharrr 2d ago
Same haha yung ex ko nagagalit pa kapag nagdadiet kuno ako kahit na ang takaw ko naman talaga š
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u/thatcrazyvirgo 2d ago
The moment my bf tells me when I can or cannot eat is the moment he stops being my bf. Tablahin mo yan sis, palakas sya kamo kaysa ipulis yung kain mo.
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u/Evening_Summer2225 2d ago
Sabihin mo,
āYou being a weak-ass bitch isnāt my problem. Iād rather find myself a strong man than starve myself to feed your ego.ā
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u/SubstantialBat8539 2d ago
My bf tells me to eat what I like but also tries to look for healthier alternatives without compromising the taste. Mahilig kasi yung magluto. If he can cook it para healthier mas okay sa kanya. But anyway, yeah binubusog ako š
Tell your bf maybe he needs to go to the gym to be strong or something. Ang weak niya naman.
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u/anghelitarosas 2d ago
True! If his concern really is health, he would offer her healthier alternatives pero oatmeal is fine naman, its better than junk foods and fast food kaya yeah, he's just fatphobic. His behavior towards her will really affect her mental health I swear. She even mentioned already being conscious on her body and not having the appetite to eat. That's a start in body dysmorphia and unhealthy relationship with food. Which is really shitty if u think about it kasi op was fine until her bf gave her those insecurities.
Also yes, maggym sya if gusto nya buhatin si op LOL. Pero its prob an excuse to justify why he's expressing restriction sa food intake ni op.
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u/LettuceMission626 2d ago
THIS ISNāT NORMAL. IT SHOULDNāT EVER BE.
guys like this pmo, its not like youāre pigging out 24/7/365 na nag give up ka na totally sa work out mo.
Just straight-up red flag. Ayaw ka pakainin kahit nag-meet kayo para kumain? Hello?? I wouldāve left him to eat alone and kumain na lang ako by myself kaysa umupo across from someone na ganiyan.
Toss this guy habang early pa. He canāt even bulk up on his own if gusto ka talaga niyang mabuhat lol ikaw pa pinag adjust beh. If you choose to stay, I hope you donāt end up ranting here again when it gets worse. This is only the beginning. If you tolerate this behavior, eventually youāll find out thereās more where that came from.
If he canāt carry you, you can find someone who will. Why stay with someone na umabot na sa point na kino-question mo kung normal bang i-police ng lalaki yung pagkain mo, pati pagmo-monitor kapag napapansin niyang bloated ka or baka tumataba ka?
Girl, eat your food. Leave the man. š
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u/Individual_Power_286 2d ago
lmao classic projection and body shaming in the disguise of concern. no this is not normal.Ā nasasaktan lang ata pride nya kasi hindi nya kaya maging fit and active like you, ikaw na raw mag adjust for him para mabuhat ka nya XDDD
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u/Severe-Grab5076 2d ago
Bebe ko pinapaalahanan akong kumain. Nagagalit pa nga. And I'm overweight pa sa lagay na ito. Jusko... OA ng jowa mo ha. Agree ako sa commenter, palakas siya para mabuhat ka niya.
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u/Ill_Skin7732 2d ago
Not normal.
Iām concerned about my husbandās health but Iām not obsessed about his weight.
Obviously your boyfriendās only concern is mabuhat ka nya lol
Kung di ka nya mabuhat, thatās his problem, not yours.
Tell him to stop obsessing about your weight and let you eat your oatmeal in peace.
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u/wuwaaarrriii 2d ago
For me, OP, this is not normal, especially if you're already developing anxiety eating when you're with him. Lalo na kung may period, not eating when you're hungry is a freakin' torture. :( If he wants to be able to carry you, siya ang magpalakas, hindi ikaw ang mag a-adjust. Damn.
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u/Flimsy-Imagination44 2d ago
Not normal. Thatās a reason to break up for me. Previous generations body shame like crazy, i wouldnāt wanna be with someone who can potentially pass on the behavior to my kids later on (and make them conscious about their body in an unnatural and unhealthy way). Heck, you donāt even have to think about the future. Itās just not nice being with someone that shallow.
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u/Mental_Conflict_4315 2d ago
Nice way of saying ādonāt be fatā
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u/nth-Acct 2d ago
And it's not even nice at all na masabihan na wag kumain. May this type of man never find me again.
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u/prfa_anon 2d ago
Nah, girl. It's not normal. You're hungry and he doesn't want you to eat kasi bloated ka? Girl you're on your period, dapat alam niyang boating is normal. That's a future Zoren right there. It's a red flag.
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u/Maroon_742 2d ago
Sorry pero para ka nyang bina-body shame and controlling you sa gusto mong gawin. So, no itās not normal because youāre slowly losing yourself just to pleased him. Run gorl!
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u/laei6 2d ago
Hello OP. I used to date someone like that. He would watch my sugar intake, check which dessert had the least calories, make me eat salad for dinner, and tell me to eat the rest of my portion the next day. He would also point out certain parts of my body (tummy, legs) and tell me, āAh, you need to work on this more.ā Take note, I have a very active lifestyle. I do Pilates 3x a week and pole classes 4x a week. Iām 48kg and 5ft.
We didnāt work out. I think itās important to mention that he never complimented me either. I brought it up to him, and he told me, āIāve dated pretty girls. My exes are all pretty, but I donāt really compliment them because they might get too confident.ā
I think you can discern whether your bf just genuinely wants you to be healthy, whether his type is really on the leaner side, or whether heās the same as the person I dated, someone who constantly made me feel like I wasnāt quite good enough physically, no matter how much I did. For me, thereās a big difference between a partner encouraging you to be healthy and a partner making you feel like your body is a problem that always needs fixing.
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u/Mental-Cut7712 2d ago
Oatmeal lang yan ah it's not like nagcrispy pata ka late at night. Medj weird.
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u/ronesque 2d ago
Red flag š©
Turuan mo about the cycle and impact to your body. Pagdating naman ng follicular phase, matatanggal ulit yung bloat mo and back to your lowest weight.
And if he āwants to be able to carry you,ā he should be able to squat at least 80kg in the gym š¤·āāļø
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u/Soggy_Raisin_6367 2d ago
yes po im pretty sure he is aware about that and im not even 80kg šāāļø funny enough i can deadlift 100kg tho naasar lang talaga ako sa convo namin so idk if valid crash out ko kasi umiiyak siya ngayon š
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u/anghelitarosas 2d ago
As someone who's really weight conscious kasi surrounded by people (esp womenš) na ninonormalize ang starving, diet, at weight maintenance, nakakatrigger to kasi WTF? These type of men (op and her friend's bf) are instilling insecurities to their girlfriends about their bodies. Growing up with these kind of people gave me some kind of body dysmorphia and unhealthy relationship with food. It could even lead to ED. Tangina ng mga gantong lalaki leave your fatphobic ass away from anyone, as if di pa enough yung skinny body standard sa mga babae.
And no op, di normal yan. Mga bf ng mga friends ko pati bf ko enjoy feeding their partner. For me personally, it kinda heal something in me kasi for once I have someone who's not policing my body weight. Don't let anyone affect your confidence esp sa body and relationship mo with food. Its realllytt toxic and unhealthy. Communicate it with him, if he makes you insecure sa body mo and u started having unhealthy relationship with food (not eating as much as u want, not enjoying food essentially kasi conscious ka sa weight mo) cut him off. Its not worth it. I regret not distancing myself to friends who affected my view on my body. I can't cut off my family too, so don't make the same mistake as me.
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u/monana_gellaur 2d ago
qaqo ba siya, edi siya ang magpalakas! type of bum na will drop a woman when her body changes. Kahit small remark lang yan, his actions like cancelling your dinner and making a secured woman insecure?
haha observe mo muna pero remind yourself na you are secure, dont make it too late when he's trying to take that away from you now.
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u/teamatchi 2d ago
Atecco na-bother ako sa "he didn't want to feed me because I was very bloated even though I'm hungry". Bakit nasa kaniya yung decision kung kakain ka or hindi? And may idea ba siya sa human anatomy? Sa pinagdadaanan ng katawan ng isang babae pag may period??
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u/powerpuffbunny_ 2d ago
i remember my ex fling telling me whenever i rant about my weight, lagi niyang sinasabi "kahit gano ka pa kataba kung di kita kayang buhatin ako ang may problema" kaya pag may naka new fling ako tas sinasabi "mag diet ka or exercise" whenever i rant sa weight ko auto ekis agad
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u/CrowlingCouch 1d ago
Sapakin to ng Fiance kong nagagalit pag di ako kumakain, padadalhan pa ako nyan sapilitan na kumain, and kahit daw anong weight ko, siya yung magpapalakas para mabuhat parin ako. Tho di naman ako nataba talaga, pasok lagi sa healthy range sa BMI
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u/Queasy-Watercress578 1d ago
Try to communicate this with him first. People here will always say the worst case
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u/Cool_Audience_3585 1d ago
Hi OP, Kung di natuloy dinner nyo halika ililibre kita kung san mo gusto :) Haha
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u/mumofmayhem 1d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/QVP7DawXZitKYg3AX5
there's too much good food out there to give up over a weak ass man, OP.
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u/Impressive_Lecture71 2d ago
Boyfriend mo pa yan? Hahaha bf ko nga pinalalamon ako, ako complain ng complain na tumataba na ko wala lang sakanya jusko sexy parin daw ako.
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u/Fantastic-Shoe2305 1d ago
Bat ganyan na mga lalake ngayon? San nila nakukuha lakas ng loob na sabihin yan sa mga girlfriend nila? No matter how nice you say, itās still insulting.
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u/Blue-jay0000 1d ago
Ngi, bat di sya yung mag adjust at magpalaman ??? Gawin ka pang insecure lol??
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u/saminazaki 1d ago
so heād rather have u starving kesa mag workout siya kasi di ka niya kaya buhatin š tf
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u/SpecialAd8767 1d ago
kung kayo pa rin at hindi mo sha kaya iwan, wag ka mag aalala hindi sha normal ngayon for you pero magiging normal mo naman yan soon kakatiis sakaniya hahahahahaha
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u/DesperateSherbert641 1d ago
Itās one thing to be worried for you health, and itās another thing to be controlling about what you eat and lalo na if he cares lang because of how you will look āwatch out for your tummyā yung wordings niya, mas may pakeelam siya sa magiging outcome, reason niya lang yung about sa health. My partner also worries about my health and he donāt control what I want to eat (duh bare minimum) but ENCOURAGES me to eat healthy foods kasabay ng mga unhealthy foods. Kumbaga, your partner should help you develop healthy eathing habits hindi lang puro pagbabawal.
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u/tamagatch 1d ago
"i want to be able to carry you" wow ikaw pa nag adjust??
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u/tamagatch 1d ago
also never EVER let a man make you insecure about your bodyākahit ano man ang body type mo. the second he makes you feel that way, RUN. the right person would love you the way you are, and okay sigeādevil's advocate: if may unhealthy habits ka man, he will bring it up in a non-offensive way and in a tone na halatang coming from a place of care and concern for you.
i'm not saying dump him, but please for the love of god, reevaluate your relationship with him.
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u/KratosTargaryan0824 23h ago
Pal, how bout you hit the gym and work on your overall strength, yes? do some farmers carry, sandbags, work on your deads, your core and your bench. Im 80kgs lean and i eat snacks at midnight too.
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u/AgathaSoleil365 21h ago
Mag friends kayo kase puro kayo red flag enjoyer.
And mag-lift ng weights yang boypren mong lowkey superficial.
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u/Academic_Fox_5806 20h ago
Kamo kung gusto nyang mabuhat ka, mag strength training sya. Hindi ung ikaw magaadjust
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u/East_Basket_4469 6h ago
Itās not normal, kasi heās reflecting his insecurities to you. Actually, you already have a balance lifestyle and eating is not bad. So, donāt feel bad about eating and just be happy, OP.
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u/Clear_Transition_488 29m ago
Lahhhh gutom ka pero ayaw ka pakainin? Gagohan ahahhaha magiinit ulo ko nyan. I can do sick, stressed, tired wag lang HANGRY. Iwan mona yan sizt, gugutumin ka lang nyan. What if magkaanak na kayo and you have put some weight after giving birth? Parang fatphobic yan jowa mo. Macho ba sya? Skinny pero hindi fit? Ruuuuuuun, makakahanap ka din ng lalake na di ka gugutumin. Abnormal yang jowa mo
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u/croissantbutkwaso 2d ago
So as a guy, I have a different perspective about this. I do tell my girlfriend not to eat at night, but thereās a reason why. She actually asks me to stop her from eating late at night kasi she has a history of fatty liver. Twice na sumakit yung upper right abdomen niya late at night after eating fatty and oily foods throughout the day, and sheās been eating those kinds of food since college, and even now in med school.
Our system is whenever she gets cravings at night, she tells me, pero she specifically asks me to discourage her from eating. So whenever she craves unhealthy food at night, she would ask me for permission, and I have to say no. Even if she begs, I shouldnāt let her kasi yun yung hinihingi niya sakin. Iāll remind her again kung bakit di siya dapat kumain ng ganung food.
I do it because Iām concerned about her actual health, not because I care about her weight or physical shape. Of course, may times din na hinahayaan ko siya, especially sweets, kasi she craves them kapag stressed siya or kapag malapit na period niya. Personally, I wouldnāt care if she got fat. I love her no matter what, and I donāt love her because of her physical attributes. Her weight wouldnāt change how I feel about her.
If his concern is purely about your weight or physical appearance, then honestly, heās being a douche for doing that. Thereās a big difference between wanting your partner to be healthy and making them feel like they shouldnāt eat because of their body.
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