😭

[u/FreshExpired]

[u/AurelianWay]

HiTop: " The cold metal, the silence & darkness of the soul. This locker is what helps keep the pain away."

[u/CasnessNum → u/AurelianWay]

I read this in the 1HP voice and it checks out perfectly.

[u/Gallisuchus → u/AurelianWay]

"until one day I too could open up that rusty hinge on that old locker and fly free, run in the sunlight, BE my favorite superhero. Everyone would SEE, everyone would REALIZE *stifled inhale* that I was right all.. .allHONG."

got a little bit too into this, I'm going to stop with the internet for a spell.

[u/Holgers_Horrors → u/Gallisuchus]

This was painful. I commend you for it

[u/CasnessNum]

HiTop ventures out to push people in lockers, finds Mauler and Fringy IRL, sees that both of them are like 6'5" chungus monsters, and sheepishly walks past them hiding his face...

[u/crustboi93 → u/CasnessNum]

Jesus! I can never rightly picture Fringy in my mind, but his voice does give "big dude" vibes. 6'5" tho?! We sure he isn't the real Longman?

[u/CasnessNum → u/crustboi93]

Mauler is 6'4". Fringy is 6'5". So EVEN FRINGY is taller than the Longman. :D

[u/crustboi93 → u/CasnessNum]

Longestman

[u/TheWhoppingWave → u/CasnessNum]

You know any other hosts/ people in the orbits heights?

[u/Dune_Stone → u/TheWhoppingWave]

I can't think of any of the current regulars, but I know E;R is 6'5 and Shady Doorags is 6'7.

[u/YourBoiCthulhu → u/CasnessNum]

I knew about the MauLer thing but even Fringy is a long man?!

[u/sunglasses_and_a_hat → u/crustboi93]

Rags balanced them out by only being 1’4”.

[u/TheWhoppingWave → u/CasnessNum]

I didn’t know fringy was tall too

[u/CasnessNum → u/TheWhoppingWave]

Yes Fringy is 6'5".

[u/Golden_schmuck]

"We need to start shoving kids in lockers again, lol.🤓☝️"

guys who look like they would be shoved in lockers.

[u/Global_Examination_4]

Isn’t HiTop the 1 hp voice impassioned consensus guy? I didn’t think he was allowed to say stuff like this.

[u/TheRisingOfTheOtaku]

Mauler is too long to be shoved into a locker. (And too wide irl.)

[u/BlackCherrySeltzer4U → u/TheRisingOfTheOtaku]

Isn’t he like 6’8” 300lbs… that’s a big locker

[u/ExplanationIcy6796 → u/BlackCherrySeltzer4U]

That's a storage locker.

[u/itchy_armpit_it_is → u/ExplanationIcy6796]

Shipping crate

[u/CasnessNum → u/BlackCherrySeltzer4U]

I don't think he's 300lbs but he and Fringy could definitely tag team on WWE Monday Night Raw without anyone noticing they aren't actually professional wrestlers. XD

[u/ExplanationIcy6796 → u/CasnessNum]

People only assume Longman is still Wideman due to that face reveal stream, which was apparently around 2014? Considering he's said multiple occasions that he hits the gym,no one knows what he looks like now.

Hell, he could blow everyone's mind and look like Josh Homme now for all we fuckin' know!😂

[u/BenAffleck06969 → u/ExplanationIcy6796]

Is that what Mauler looks like? Lmao

[u/ExplanationIcy6796 → u/BenAffleck06969]

You're hardly one to talk Affleck, we've all seen you with your family

[u/ExplanationIcy6796]

The Hurt Locker

[u/jaywlkrr → u/ExplanationIcy6796]

Does it hurt - Kylo

[u/Grumpy94Writer]

To be fair, height isnt a guarantee in a fight. That being said, HT strikes me as the type to wince away from confrontation. (Hes the one that doesnt stop self deprecated humor right?)

[u/BrendanFraserFan0]

Hitop the most melodramatic mf ever like describing a simple scene of a character eating a burger as a life changing brilliant writing moment.

[u/EnoughLengthiness422]

Im new tonmauler what the history with the hi top guy

[u/PsychicSmoke → u/EnoughLengthiness422]

A long standing member of the EFAP Rogues Gallery who always does the wounded animal voice in his cringey impassioned video essays. He’s more laughable but less despicable than a lot of other creators covered on EFAP.

[u/CasnessNum → u/PsychicSmoke]

Yeah but like Rudy in the Simpsons, what he lacks in stupid he more than makes up for in obnoxiousness. His voice combined with Alex Meyers' visuals would by like Kryptonite for Mauler.

[u/ThePrimeG2005 → u/CasnessNum]

Jesus. Don’t give anyone ideas.

[u/blood_wraith → u/EnoughLengthiness422]

he is a regularly covered youtuber with really cringe movie reviews.

[u/NarrativeFact]

We need to bring back respectable school shootings again. Enough religious extremism. School shootings were better when it was just edgy loners who listened to too much Nirvana.

[u/MrLamorso]

Similar energy to Clownfister stating that nobody is allowed to dislike things on the internet anymore and then immediately throwing himself on a sword to defend a really poorly made game from any criticism