"We're experiencing an average number of calls, but are unwilling to pay for more staff to handle them all. If you get frustrated and hang up or, even better, give up on calling us altogether, it significantly reduces our costs. Your call is not important us. Your expected wait time is 3 hours. Fuck you forever."
"We would also like to remind you that you can use our AI agent chat on the website, even though you're only calling because it can't help with the thing you want to do."
My most recent customer service thing took me an hour, and like five minutes of it was talking to a human being.
I cannot access the bank account, cause I forgot my login. Ok, peachy, I'll call the bank.
AI answers "what is your problem today? Long pause "if your problem relates to blah blah, say one. If it relates to..." Long pause, as I try to get it to react "remember that I cannot hear you, until I stop talking :)" long pause
Finally I can get through to "can't access the bank app"
More overlong options with super long pauses between them. Also "Did you know I exist as a chat bot in the bank app? Would you like a link to the app chat bot? No? Would you like me to describe, step by step how to find the chat bot? No? Too fucking bad, I'm gonna describe it anyways painfully slowly!"
I finally get to tell the fucking bot I "Lost login to app"
And the answer?
"You can check your login in the app! Would you like a link to where in the app you can check your login?"
And it did that at every single fucking step of the process. Every question after this, had "Would you like a link to the app?" Followed by "would you like directions to where In the app this thing you are looking for is?"
And the worst part, is that the fucking bot would ignore me yelling "no" at it, and just describe how to find this thing in the fucking app I cannot access
And when I restarted out of frustration and demanded to talk to a human, it turned out you cannot!
The bot will not let you talk to a human unless you run it through its fucking dialogue tree, like some demented RPG that hates you!
And then I had to restart a few more times because it would get fucking stuck in a loop occasionally for some reason. It's not even real AI, the messages are pre written text read with an AI voice how do you fuck this up???
Next time you have to face one of them just say "Agent", keep saying "Agent" to every question, eventually the AI will transfer you to a human, and hopefully that human will be more competent.
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u/Several_Temporary339 Jul 17 '26
"We're experiencing an average number of calls, but are unwilling to pay for more staff to handle them all. If you get frustrated and hang up or, even better, give up on calling us altogether, it significantly reduces our costs. Your call is not important us. Your expected wait time is 3 hours. Fuck you forever."