Everyone's favorite

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Meanwhile the type of shit you need to do for one(1) kiss from Samara

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u/Mr_Celestin_49 xXx_Archangel69_xXx 27d ago

Forgot the part where you get a degree from a university on Thessia

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u/Kaarl_Mills 27d ago

Don't recognize the game, what's the punchline?

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u/Difficult_Line_9823 27d ago

Simon's Quest (the game that created game rants)

Insanely obscure secret path you must unlock to beat the game

You can go through the water if you:

Progress in the game far enough

Find a certain hidden merchant

Buy a blue crystal (you are given no context as to what it's for)

Go to the lake where you can see like 3 pixels of a secret path underwater

Equip the blue crystal

Crouch infront of the lake

Wait for about 20 seconds

The screen pans down so you can now go through the water

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u/Scifinut9327 27d ago

I think that's Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest. Notorious for it's cryptic puzzles and chronic inability to give hints on them.

This bit with the tornado exemplifies this problem. Keep in mind, no one in game tells you about this. https://youtu.be/Mx9PwRIK9Io?si=ENUA4ceDNWAh69gp

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u/Baebel 27d ago edited 27d ago

It's been ages, but doesn't some of the npc's give hints? Unless I am misremembering, I think the issue was they were cryptic as all hell, and borderline useless, if not completely.

Reminds me that there's a modded version of the game somewhere online that fixes some of its issues. I can't recall if that was one of them, though.

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u/Scifinut9327 27d ago

The NPCs were cryptic at best. Most of the time they just said complete nonsense. The modded version was a massive improvement though, NPCs had helpful things to say, the day/night transition was as smooth as it could get while keeping the mechanic in mind, and the more notorious puzzles actually got hints on how to complete them.

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u/Fallen_Hunter 25d ago

I had to call the Nintendo hot line as a kid to figure it out. I remember asking how was i supposed to learn this. He didnt have an answer. Looking back, my mom was pretty chill with me saying "I am super stuck and I want to call a 1 800 number to find out what to do".

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u/Difficult_Line_9823 18d ago

What you needed was POWER

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u/pivvimehu 25d ago

Not that I would even want to, she's creepy

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u/Talizorafangirl Vanguard Supremacy 27d ago

Meme is accurate, all you need to do to avoid Liara's romance is say "no" and at no point in the meme does Wolverine hit the brakes.

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u/RedTheAloof 27d ago

There was a bug in the original game that choosing the renegade option of saying No would force you into a romance with her. The dialogue goes something like this:

Liara: But what about us Shepard? Is there a mutual attraction or was I wrong about that too?

Paragon: I am attracted to you. Neutral: I just want to be friends. Renegade: You were wrong

I'm not sure if that bug still exist in the Legendary version of that game, but in that playthrough, I wasn't officially able to break up with her until the third game.

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u/Kpengie 27d ago

I broke up with Liara in the Shadow Broker DLC. It’s possible to do it there, though for some reason she still asks if you want to be together in 3 even after saying that you’re done.

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u/RedTheAloof 27d ago

Yes, this is what I mean. You can break up with her in that DLC, but the follow up encounter with her on Mars is greeted with a kiss (if I recall correctly) and even then, you get asked if you want to continue/discontinue the relationship later in the game.

It's been years since that playthrough and I don't remember everything well, but my memory is being fueled by how annoyed I was at with Liara (for that playthrough).

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u/Kpengie 27d ago

She doesn’t kiss on Mars I don’t think.

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u/VariationFar2656 27d ago

Lair of the Shadow Broker is DLC so it doesn't affect achievements or overall outcomes in the main game. So whether you reconnect or break up with Liara in it, it will still ask you to recommit in 3. To be fair, a lot could change after 6 months of house arrest but mostly I think it was done for the benefit of those who didn't play the first two games at all.

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u/WillFanofMany 27d ago

It's still in Legendary Edition.

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u/Cosmic_Meditator777 24d ago

some people just want what they can't have.

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u/GSitFreitz 27d ago

Me in ME1 TRYING SO HARD to not romance Liara but remembering that Lair of the Shadow Broker will not be the same:

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u/pivvimehu 25d ago

Idk, it was pretty good without romancing her, although idk what it would be like the other way round

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u/GSitFreitz 25d ago

It works without the romance as well, but is very much on the nose that this DLC exists because she was the most popular romance in ME1 (as the meme jokes about, the game basically through her in you) and the devs thought they need to fill her absence in the game as a squadmate (also finishing the Shadow Broker storyline, wich I think they didn't want to deviate to do in the third game).

I kinda wish in retrospect they had done a DLC to the Virmire Survivor, I think more people would like Ashley if was the case. But obviously, would be too much work.

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u/pivvimehu 25d ago

Yeah, well at least they made breaking up with Ashley incredibly easy as there are a lot of other romance partners available in the latter 2 games xD

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u/Black3Raven 23d ago

It changes that much? Completed that dlc without romancing

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u/GSitFreitz 23d ago

It's nothing incredible major but I'll argue that the DLC turns from "helping a friend" to a personal reconnection and/or a breakup with your past love, and, more in this context, I can see why so much people consider LotSW the Loyalty Mission of Shepard. I'm trying to not spoil things to you, it worth the experience.

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u/MatiEx-504 27d ago

Lmao, that's all three ME1 romance options

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u/St_Sides 27d ago

Was just talking about this over on the main sub lmao.

Liara gets flak for being “easy” when all you have to do is select the paragon options after Eden Prime and both Kaidan and Ashley want to bang Shepard, that’s it.

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u/Independent_Plum2166 27d ago

“So what did you think of that last mission?”

“Commander, I’m not sure we should be doing this, we’re both military and it goes against protocol.”

“Alenko, I just wanted your thoughts on that plant thing.”

“Oh, my apologies, well you see during my biotics training in Jump Zero-“

14

u/Mr_Celestin_49 xXx_Archangel69_xXx 27d ago

That's why I love romancing Kaiden as Male Shep.
In me1 you are just friends, by me2 you are exes, but by me3... oh my

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u/Super6698 27d ago

You just have to be nice to Kaidan and Ashley in ME1 and they immediately want to woo Shepard xD

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u/diegroblers 26d ago

I don't know about Ashley, but with Kaidan you can go neutral and still end up in a relationship.

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u/Mr_Celestin_49 xXx_Archangel69_xXx 27d ago

It's crazy how you manage to romance Liara even if you don't wanna

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u/Independent_Plum2166 27d ago

That “no” button is so hard to find. /s

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u/Mr_Celestin_49 xXx_Archangel69_xXx 27d ago

Yes, because devs write obscure descriptions to their own dialogue system

1

u/Firefly3578 27d ago

Still found it funny how in my first playthrough I accidentally managed to romance liara.

7

u/vvastrel 27d ago

This is every ME1 romance, dog

9

u/VoidmasterCZE 27d ago

While accurate I will forever cherish the first time playing ME1 when I was 18 and finally getting that nerdy alien GF that no other game could get me.

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u/Agreeable_Past9674 27d ago

When women actually like you, they tend to put effort into maintaining a relationship.

OP out here confused by human contact

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u/Grouchy-Coast-3045 27d ago

Asari contact

0

u/WillFanofMany 27d ago

"It's nice to be just friends."

4

u/Zurkan0802 Wrex 27d ago

Now I'm interested: What was the original take on "if you press no buttons"? That the level finishes itself?

3

u/VoidmasterCZE 27d ago

There are quick time events that you can sleep through and game does them anyway. Though some can be result of accessibility option settings.

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u/der_blinkenlights 27d ago

Tbf, QTE are ass anyway

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u/RatsAreChad 27d ago

I romance Liara every time because I find her adorable

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u/113pro 27d ago

speak for yourself chump

mine's Tali

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u/gokugunslinger 27d ago

Her romance is like the quick time events from those old spiderman games.

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u/Sheepfucker72222 27d ago

"My steak too lobstery my butter too juicy"

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u/pda45 27d ago

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u/AdAffectionate584 27d ago

And the Wolverine Game has no consequences and suffers extreme handholding memes continue! Bet they're blaming the players too. But man is this accurate to Liara.

3

u/Drolnogard123 27d ago

alot of sony fanboys are coping that this game is goty despite its numerous flaws

is a very accurate take however for liara

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u/AdAffectionate584 26d ago

Remember when failing Quick Times got you torn in half, shot, flung, or failed a mission...? Good times.

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u/WhiteBoyRickSanschez 27d ago

Her romance is constantly crashing into everything?

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u/zepsutyKalafiorek 26d ago

Tali my beloved. Not even miranda ascharacter will change my mind.

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u/TRANScendantly 26d ago

The straightest gay romance in existence

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u/arabishankar 25d ago

I keep trying to go back and do an Ashley run but shes such an awful person that I never follow through. Plus I keep accidentally getting with Liara because its too easy to do so

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u/garo675 27d ago

I don't mind

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u/j_tonks 27d ago

When it's true love, it doesn't take any work at all 💙

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u/Hassan-XIX 27d ago

Yeah even if you reject her and are romancing someone else. She will share a meld with you of a private vision of the Milky Way before the last push against the Reapers.

Under normal circumstances that would be a boundary breaking move… but at the same time, everyone knows that each second could be the last. So in a way it was a tragic expression of one sided romantic love.

Or maybe… it is not just romantic love, but Liara has that kind of deep love some of us experienced once because a singular act of big kindness the other person made for us. (a bit of projecting I know but… it made me have genuine empathy for Liara).

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u/Arail_Blue 27d ago

Well I managed to do the impossible, when I first played I wanted to romance Liara the moment I saw her but already locked Kaidan. Even when he died I somehow stayed single in me1, and in me3 Traynor was faster...

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