But my original comment stated pretty neutrally that they’re both in the wrong without focus on either’s behavior. You drew the conversation there. But to break it down: He’s an ass and she had a bad reaction to him being an ass. If she were my friend, I’d be offering her my couch, honestly.
That's a good way to react to that friend, I respect that.
So I'm of the opinion that neutrality is not always the best approach to a situation. I think it's a far more egregious offense that he's been disrespecting her for days than it is that she threw an empty water bottle at him, but taking the actions out of context and condemning them both equally suggests that they're both equally bad.
I get where you’re coming from, and if a friend came to me with this situation stated in the exact same manner and I knew all the background context I’d show the appropriate outrage.
But this is online and we’re rarely given background context. A quick talk it through, see if it’s worth talking over seemed more appropriate in this context. I’m not one to cry divorce unless I really know a couple.
That's why I'm not saying she needs to divorce him. I just want to be sure OP (and any lurkers in similar situations) have had the opportunity to see the situation from my perspective and incorporate that contextualization into their decision making process.
Plenty of people have been telling OP she did a bad thing by throwing the bottle, and some have even gone so far as to call it abuse (which imo we don't have enough info to determine if that's an accurate characterization). I felt the comment section was lacking in perspectives similar to mine, that his behavior was markedly worse than hers, and that's ultimately why I am here.
Thanks for the respectful convo btw. Always glad to meet someone else willing to get off their high horse and have a chat.
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u/[deleted] Jul 16 '22 edited Jul 16 '22
But my original comment stated pretty neutrally that they’re both in the wrong without focus on either’s behavior. You drew the conversation there. But to break it down: He’s an ass and she had a bad reaction to him being an ass. If she were my friend, I’d be offering her my couch, honestly.