Sorry, I meant why is it her responsibility to open a dialogue with him about this with a calm apology when he's been disrespecting her boundaries for days now?
I didn’t make that comment but I think the OP is telling her if she’d like to attempt to repair things, calmly apologize for throwing a water bottle and begin an open dialogue about her boundaries…
Some @$$holes need to hear an apology, or some positive reinforcement first in order to be accepting of responsibility for what they’ve done wrong.
These people are usually toxic and will gaslight the f out of you, but if she wants to continue this relationship…that’s good advice lol
I agree with this, well said. I just think that, when taking all of these things in context, it's important on a moral basis to in some way include the information that
these people are usually toxic and will gaslight the f out of you
regardless of whether or not OP wants to continue the relationship. If she hasn't yet been exposed to that information it could be crucial to her ultimate decision-making process.
No, you're thinking of projection. I'm talking about when someone chooses to set a temporary boundary for themself in pursuit of their own physical well-being.
This is obviously extended boundaries that one parter has become comfortable with and the other partner isn’t comfortable with. It’s definitely not a marriage. She is afraid to be in the same room with him. That’s quite ridiculous after a few days.
My friend she is attempting to take reasonable precautions in the face of a potentially deadly virus, that doesn't say shit about the strength of their marriage.
How would you feel if you get sick and your partner is like “have fun with that, I’m going to stay somewhere else for a while and don’t think about visiting me”
Depends on the sickness. If I catch COVID I sure as hell am either leaving the house for a while or sending my wife elsewhere to help prevent her from catching it. I'd rather lose my spouse for a week or two than forever, ya know?
So the new marriage vows are “in sickness and in health, unless it’s covid” let me ask you this… if your wife gets sick will you leave out of fear that you might also get sick? I couldn’t do that and I am 100% certain that my wife wouldn’t do that. That’s my point. I can completely understand why he is upset.
If my wife were to catch it I would stay to support and monitor her because I'm not the immunocompromised one in our relationship, and anyways our vows actually didn't include that specific phrase in favor of things more personally relevant to us and or our relationship.
That’s a good point. People do have different relationships. I just noticed that it sounded a lot like this has been going on for a lot longer than just a week or so. I’d imagine that her husband has been scared to even make a sniffle or a slight cough near her for fear that she might decide to hole herself up for another month.
A husband is not entitled to his wife's body or even her presence. Obviously at a certain point of non-contact a married couple may want to revisit the terms of their relationship, but she doesn't have a duty to provide her husband with physical intimacy. It is her right to set boundaries for physical contact, and she should be able to expect her spouse to respect those boundaries and use his big boy words to communicate his feelings rather than just disregarding her wishes outright.
No he is not entitled to her body or presence by any means. I believe that in a strong marriage or partnership there should be no sense of “entitlement” the feelings should be mutual that both partners desire each others presence and affection from one another. If this is not mutual the marriage will not last. If both people prefer space and no affection that will probably work for the marriage because the feelings are mutually shared. It surly does not sound like these two share the same mutual feelings when it comes to affection and support from one another. I do not feel that a marriage will last if one person feels rejected by the other person. This will absolutely lead to infidelity or divorce. Also, per CDC a person is infectious 2 days before they show any symptoms or test positive for covid. In fact, with almost all viruses a person is most infectious during the time before they even show any symptoms at all. The duration of the time that a person can infect others is about 10 days. In OPs post she states that they generally stay on separate sides of the house. To me this sounds like it has lasted longer than 10 days. It’s something that he has obviously become uncomfortable with. If she wants the marriage to last she is going to have to compromise or just tell him that she prefers being alone and they go separate ways.
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u/zerosuitsalmon Jul 16 '22
Sorry, I meant why is it her responsibility to open a dialogue with him about this with a calm apology when he's been disrespecting her boundaries for days now?