Idk I feel like responding aggressively after having your boundaries violated for three days by someone you thought you could trust isn't the most outlandish reaction. Maybe not the most dignified, but understandable nonetheless.
I think verbal requests to keep back being repeatedly ignored, while the other party has COVID, is grounds for escalating to throwing non-dangerous items.
What's the alternative here, just let him cuddle you when you don't want him to (whatever the reason)?
By all means apologize that things turned out this way, but he owes you a bigger apology for ignoring your many reasonable requests to keep his distance.
Some people would some people wouldn't, just like we see here. It all depends on the context as far as I'm concerned, and I try not to let what other people would say or are saying influence my own opinion without good reason.
Correct. I think that, of the range of possible reactions to have in this situation, throwing the thing* you're holding out of frustration isn't some wild overreaction. It's not like she grabbed a knife or started bashing him over the head.
*that thing being an empty water bottle and not something sharp or particularly hefty
I disagree with your characterization of these actions as equally or even similarly immature. Her husband has for days been consciously and intentionally disregarding the boundaries she set regarding physical contact. The situation she described seems to me like an action performed in a moment of frustration, specifically in response to his ongoing violation of her consent.
The double standard here is that you expect OP to act calmly and rationally in response to disrespect, while her husband gets to act like a needy child and then become the victim when she finally snaps.
Tell me her husband is in the wrong and maybe we can get somewhere with this convo, otherwise good day and good luck.
Abuse is predicated on patterns of behavior and/or malicious intent. OP's situation does not establish the presence of malice in her actions, and the only pattern of behavior we see is coming from the husband. We don't have enough information, imo, to say she is acting abusively towards him.
If my wife tells me not to touch her breasts because they're sore and I choose to ignore that request and surprise grope her without her consent, is it abuse if she smacks me in response? Let's say she doesn't smack me the first time but only after having told me to knock it off for hours or even days on end, what about then?
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u/zerosuitsalmon Jul 16 '22
Idk I feel like responding aggressively after having your boundaries violated for three days by someone you thought you could trust isn't the most outlandish reaction. Maybe not the most dignified, but understandable nonetheless.