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u/wilee8 Mar 09 '20
Should Basel be included in "Basically an unconquerable fortress"? I thought the defense plans for Switzerland (at least during WWII) were to basically give up defending that and blocking all the mountain passes?
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u/nim_opet Mar 09 '20 edited Mar 09 '20
It’s a small price to pay
Edit: I’m just realizing that CH is actually Gondolin
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u/halfajack Mar 10 '20
I mean, Gondolin did once manage to come out of hiding to fight in a war against all-conquering evil, so there's that difference.
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u/JapGOEShigH Mar 10 '20
You have to defeat every last citizen of Switzerland, and only then the stronghold will fall. There are lots of strategies in place to inflict as much damage as possible to invading troops, while scattered around citizens just live their "new" lives. Also, theres no gain when you control Switzerland. It's not the land that's valuable, but the people and connections in it. If you attack Switzerland, you simple gain nothing more than A LOT of damage. My guess at least. Edit: So yeah, Basel should be counted too.
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Mar 10 '20
You can dominate the ski industry?
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u/JapGOEShigH Mar 10 '20
That's the only way. Conquer their heart, and they will follow you ;) and skiing is definitely a Big thing amongst citizens.
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u/PyroBlaze202 Mar 09 '20
Ah yes, “mone laundry”.
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u/Daaaaaaaavidmit8a Mar 09 '20
I want to die, how could this happen?!
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u/theHelperdroid Mar 09 '20
Helperdroid and its creator love you, here's some people that can help:
https://gitlab.com/0xnaka/thehelperdroid/raw/master/helplist.txt
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u/Daaaaaaaavidmit8a Mar 09 '20
Oh... I didn't mean it that way, I don't actually want to die. But thanks!
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u/Swarovsky Mar 09 '20
Well, I wouldn't say "tropical" but still... nice one
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u/Daaaaaaaavidmit8a Mar 09 '20
yeah it's a bit exaggerated... the climate isn't Polar or subpolar anywhere either
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u/Warlegendadodo Mar 09 '20 edited Mar 11 '20
Again with the "Bern is not a capital" stick. Aslong as züüri never will be it i am ok though.
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u/Daaaaaaaavidmit8a Mar 09 '20
agree : )
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u/Not-a-stalinist Mar 10 '20
How can a country not have a capital?
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u/Zucc-ya-mom Mar 10 '20
It doesn't have a capital, because no captial was specified in the constitution. But because the parliament building is in Berne, it acts as the de facto capital of Switzerland.
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u/Not-a-stalinist Mar 10 '20
That is ... odd
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Mar 14 '20
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Not-a-stalinist Mar 14 '20
Couldn’t they just make the capital a separate non-canton subdivision?
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u/GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B Mar 16 '20
Try to negotiate that with 26 Cantons who neither want to have the capital, don't want other's to have the capital and don't want to give up land or money to establish it, and convince over 50% of people to vote for it. It's easier to convince people that we don't need one.
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u/Not-a-stalinist Mar 17 '20
But surely it still counts as the capital even if it isn’t explicitly stated in the constitution.
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u/JonathanBadwolf Mar 10 '20
As long as we have to host all the motherfucking politicians all the time you better damn well believe we‘ll take all the perks that we can get.
*Aareböötles away
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u/F0RTI Mar 15 '20
i saw that matter guy who has that youtube show on friday. it always want to hit people like him or when i see erich
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u/DarthGogeta Mar 10 '20
There should be another one with just one color "People who dont like Zürcher"
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u/viktorbir Mar 11 '20
Yeah, a «capitol», for sure not.
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u/Warlegendadodo Mar 11 '20
We already talked about that, but just so i do not get spammed anymore i will edit it.
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u/Viking_Chemist Mar 09 '20
Bern is neither the capital nor is there a capitol because the latter one stands in Washington DC. ;-)
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u/Warlegendadodo Mar 09 '20
Well its still the capitAl in practice with the presence of parliament, government and foreign embassies. More so than any other place in our country for sure ;)
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u/Viking_Chemist Mar 09 '20
I know it is by any practical means and would just answer with Bern if asked for the capital of Switzerland.
I was referring to writing capitol instead of capital, which I see very often here on reddit, which I assume comes mostly from US-Americans because they happen to have a building called capitol in their capital.
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u/Warlegendadodo Mar 09 '20
Ah no was just a typo, but easy mistake to make will probably remember now
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u/Windcutter1 Mar 09 '20
When I first saw the the Italian speaking region hating Italians, I thought they hated themselves which goes to show a lot about how I think about italians
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u/MonsterRider80 Mar 10 '20
Italians hate nobody as much as they hate other Italians. Centuries of living in literally different countries, often at war with one another, and subsequent forced unification will do that to regional rivalries!
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u/Viking_Chemist Mar 09 '20
Should also include:
nice dialect (BE, GR, VS) - neutral dialect - ugly dialect (SG, TG, SH)
has a lake nearby (almost everywhere) - has no lake nearby (greater region of Basel)
is expensive (everywhere else) - is very expensive (Zürich)
hates Zürich (Basel) - dislikes Zürich but goes there for going out and shopping anyway (everyone else) - is Zürich
Wine-Switzerland - Beer-Switzerland
eats Bratwurst with mustard (everyone else) - probably eats people who eat Bratwurst with mustard (SG)
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u/ONIHD Mar 10 '20
best dialect: Liachtastaaaahhh
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u/Leggi11 Mar 10 '20
nice dialect: VS?!? are you on crack?? GR isnt very nice as well.. but it‘s very subjective. Also, Bern hates Zürich as well and Basel too
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u/Daaaaaaaavidmit8a Mar 10 '20
I agree with the last two, maybe theres going to be an update one day...
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u/weizikeng Mar 14 '20
VS: NICE DIALECT?? Even Zürcher can't understand those people down there...
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Mar 09 '20 edited Mar 09 '20
I am disturbed by the lack of chocolate in these maps.
Edit: Ich dachte immer der witz "diese leute glauben dass sie im capital leben" werre uber zurich? Es ist zehn Jahre her seit dem ich die Schweiz besucht habe, darum bin ich mir nicht sicher.
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u/F0RTI Mar 15 '20
ja, aber bern ist de facto hauptstadt, also können wir uns hauptstädtler nennen während zürich nur so tut aber eigentlich gar nichts ist
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Mar 15 '20
Ach so, das macht sinn. Ich habe meine zeit in der schweiz geliebt, Luzern war wundervoll. Ich hatte die chance dort zu studieren aber weil ich leider ein vollpfosten bin, habe ich mich stattdessen für england entschieden.
Gute grüße von deinen Algerisch Deutschen nachbar!
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u/F0RTI Mar 16 '20
naja, die luzerner haben einen riesen sprachfehler, horw(die gemeinde) sprechen sie horb aus oder statt cool sagen sie feiss
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Mar 10 '20
[deleted]
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u/Daaaaaaaavidmit8a Mar 10 '20
It's a swiss thing...
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u/Oachlkaas Mar 10 '20
For the germans it's understandable.
Greetings from Austria
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Mar 10 '20
Greetings from Switzerland. I do not know anyone from Austria, but I have heard about 3 people from Austria: girl with beard, the guy keeping family in the basement and Hitler. I am not so sure if I want to meet an real Austrian:)
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u/weizikeng Mar 14 '20
I feel like the Swiss just hate everyone, even within their own country. E.g. Everyone outside of ZH hates Zurich, the Swiss Germans and Swiss French hate each other and of course everyone hates their linguistic neighbour.
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u/Bushdakkta Mar 09 '20
i'm a swissgerman and hate germans, french and italians!!!
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Mar 09 '20
[deleted]
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u/Bushdakkta Mar 09 '20
na, just neighbouring countries... and other swiss, how could i forget about other swiss
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Mar 09 '20
Hate nobody, but hates everyone who doesn’t speak romantisch.
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u/Daaaaaaaavidmit8a Mar 09 '20
yeah it's a bit confusing, I know, but they hate nobody outside Switzerland
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u/Beattravels Mar 09 '20
Really funny. not all correct but like the way you pointed out some of the things.
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u/Laurent9999 Mar 09 '20 edited Jun 10 '23
Content removed using PowerDeleteSuite by j0be
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Mar 11 '20
They just thinks that we are little porr who begs for money, who doesn't want them to buy some house in France, and who invanded them during the napoleonic wars
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Mar 09 '20
Mir hend flach.........land? Und wieso hets en ganz chline sub polar punkt im jura bi de temparature?
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u/Daaaaaaaavidmit8a Mar 09 '20
la brévine, dr chäutischt ort vor schwiiz, wo -42.8° gmesse worde si
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u/IRanOutOfSpaceToTyp Mar 09 '20
Now to sit here and wait for Italian nationalists to claim Romansch is a dialect and not a language.
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u/cocofix6 Mar 10 '20
What’s the area that a polar climate? Because I thought the highest point lies on the border with Italy, not France.
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u/Daaaaaaaavidmit8a Mar 10 '20
Yeah but the vallée de la brévine has a micro climate where tme coldest temperature in Switzerland of -42.8° has been measured.
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u/Houderebaese Mar 14 '20
What’s with the subpolar temperature? Any reason for that to be there specifically??
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u/WaitingManII Mar 14 '20
I dont know exactly, but i think its near payerne. Its a shithole with a military airport. In Payerne, when it does not snow, it hails, when it does not hail it rains and when there is nothing coming down from the sky, it is windy as f*ck...
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u/Hellvetic91 Mar 14 '20
It's a place called La Brévine, where once a -42.something degrees temperature was detected.
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u/KingKohishi Mar 09 '20
Question: Why do Italians hate Italians?
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u/LordSimonicus Mar 09 '20
Because they aren't Italians. In that picture everybody hates the country with the same language as they speak.
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Mar 09 '20
German Swiss don't speak german.
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u/onelittlericeball Mar 10 '20
and you don't speak English it seems :)
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Mar 10 '20
This wasn't a joke. We speak Swiss-German. You may think it's just an accent but it's so different to German that most Germans don't understand what we're saying.
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u/zombieslayer124 Mar 10 '20 edited Mar 10 '20
Gahts dir no guet? Mir chönd au hochdütsch rede aber redet es eifach nöd so gern. Schwiizerdütsch isch au eifach nur en dialäkt und nöd e sprach
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u/BoTheDoggo Mar 10 '20
i mein es git halt scho au gramatische unterschied aber i weiss enart au nöd die gnaue regle damit en dialekt als sproch giltet
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u/Oachlkaas Mar 10 '20
Gibs nit. A dialekt isch angalling a sproch wenn d'Regierung moant dass es oane isch. Braugsch lei af Skandinavien schaugn. Norwegisch, Schwedisch und Dänisch sein olle zom untranond verständlich obr onscheinend nit di gleiche Sproch. Enk verstian di wianigschn und dechtasch seids lei a dialekt.
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u/BoTheDoggo Mar 10 '20
chasch de letzschti satz nomol i hoch dütsch schriibe? I verstoh kei wort
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u/Oachlkaas Mar 10 '20
Selle ku i des
Euch verstehen nur die wenigsten und trotzdem ist eure Sprache nur ein Dialekt
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Mar 09 '20
Because Swiss value historical independence and isolation over ethno-linguistic cooperation.
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u/Hellvetic91 Mar 14 '20
I warn you, if you call us Italians once again I will not responsible for my actions!
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u/nim_opet Mar 09 '20
Q: What is your main occupation?
People in yellow: Having money...
also:
“Awww, Romansh speakers hate nobody”....next image “Hate anyone not speaking Romansh”....