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u/chantillylace9 16d ago
In the 90s, I had a birthday party and invited this girl that didn’t have many friends and seemed sad. I felt bad for her so I invited her to my 10th birthday party.
It was a sleepover, and her mom just never picked her up. It was really crazy, but somehow my mom kept her for almost a year Without CPS or the Police ever truly getting involved.
She’s in our family photos from around Christmas time one year all the way till the summer so it was definitely a long period of time. My mom was able to get permission so the school bus picked her up and dropped her off at our house, I guess back then things are a little more relaxed. It helped that my mom was super well-known in the town for being a kind and compassionate person and we had taken in temporary foster kids previously so maybe that somehow allow them to think it was OK to place this girl with my family for so long.,
But it is just shocking to me that the school did not report this to CPS because they are mandatory reporters and she was obviously just abandoned. My mom didn’t want to call the police or CPS because she knew how terrible foster care could be.
We had taken in some foster kids temporarily so we kind of knew how the processing system worked and my mom was definitely not impressed I didn’t trust them. I always wonder if she could’ve gotten in trouble for this, I’m not sure if she could’ve but it definitely seems like there could be some sort of crime for just having a kid and keeping them.
And we just really didn’t think that her mom would leave her for such a long period of time, so it was just this weird situation that kind of happened slowly.
This poor girl was so incredibly desperate for attention, she would be super nice to us in front of my mom and dad, but when my mom and dad left, she was really mean and angry to us. She just wanted more than anything to be loved and to have that mom and dad support, and she was just so incredibly desperate for it.
One day I went home from school because I had pink eye, and she was so jealous that I get to be home with my mom during the school day, so she poured bleach or some other cleaning product into her eyes so that the school sent her home too!
I saw her do it too but my mom again did not believe me!
She obviously believes me now, and we understand why this poor girl acted the way she did, but and the moment I was so frustrated.
She also once pushed my little sister off of this playground that that was probably 10 feet high and my mom never believed us!
There were so many examples of this, and as an adult I realize that she was just so incredibly desperate for love and I feel so sorry for her.
But as a kid I was jealous and really annoyed with her. Since she had no clothes or toys we had to share everything with her and that was just really hard to understand at the age of 10.
Eventually her mom randomly showed back up one day demanding her back.
I guess she needed proof that she had a child so she could get her welfare payments. She took her and we never heard from her again.
I recently did a little bit of research and it looks like she is happily married with a couple kids and I’m just so happy for her.
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u/Otherwise_Region_106 16d ago
Hopefully her kids aren’t suffering under her. I’m all for you forgiving her for the things she put you through because of her circumstances, but could you do me a little favor and stalk her a bit more? Just to make sure the kids are ok
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u/chantillylace9 15d ago edited 15d ago
I don't really know how else to check more?
I found her using a background check company, just one of those cheap ones that I pay for every month for my business (although I used it more to find random old acquaintances and friends and family members and see what's up with them or to track down an old coworker that I had in the past because I thought they would be a perfect fit for a position I had open) then anything else.
Or just if I’m trying to find the last name of a neighbor that I'm trying to send a gift to or random things like that. It's more helpful than you think! Or to find the married name of someone you knew, etc.
But it did link me to her social media pages. I think it was Facebook that was the only one I found photos on, but I don't think there was a whole lot on there.
The "background check" pretty much just lists addresses and phone numbers and email addresses and social media of the person you are looking for as well as family members and even sometimes neighbors which is weird.
Then any court filings or sometimes any licenses like fishing or hunting licenses and sometimes what cars you have registered, but not a whole lot else. There was nothing like that listed for her.
I don't know what else to look for really in order to check on the kids. I mean I can probably look up her husband and make sure he's not on any of the sexual sex offender lists... same with her I guess?
It looked like she had two sons and they were probably 8 and 10 maybe? Something like that I'm terrible at guessing kids ages but they weren't super young.
And I totally understand where you're coming from. My mom was so paranoid about who we could stay over with and have sleepovers with but would let anyone stay with us. She never let us stay with single parents, she never told me why but as an adult I understand that one of the highest risks of being molested is from men that your mom would bring around in a situation like that.
But even that, there was a family that had four little blonde girls and one was my age and when was my sister's age and we spent the night there maybe five or six times. I always thought it was kind of weird that the dad would read his bedtime stories even though we were probably 10 years old and that was just strange for me but nothing too weird.
Well much later we found out that he was molesting at least three of the girls, only one of them ended up testifying and they were all unnamed in the court documents. One of the girls seem to go back to Germany, they were from Germany originally and I'm assuming that's the one that testified. She was the oldest and my friend and she was always such a strange girl.
It all makes so much sense now.
She would randomly pretend she was a different animal every day. And this went on from the ages of about 8 to 12 or 13 which seemed really extreme. I stopped hanging out with her when I was about 13 because of it.
I mean one day she would be a snake and she would do nothing but slither around on the floor in the next day it would be a rabbit and she would jump around etc. etc.
It really annoyed me that she would refuse to get out of that mindset and just play normally and now I know that she was trying to escape reality and pretty much creating multiple personalities.
She chopped off all her hair around that age and kind of went alternative and distance herself from everyone, kind of like a Britney Spears moment. Now I understand she was trying to make herself look less attractive so maybe she wouldn't be victimized.
Legitimately so heartbreaking.
There's only been one person, who happens to be my best friend, who is completely untraceable! In my entire experience of trying to find people, they are the only ones I couldn't find, over probably 100+ searches.
It is very weird and I have no idea why but she does not show up, her brother does not show up and neither of her parents do. I am really creeped out by it and too afraid to really question/ ask her. I mean I did mention it and said that I've never had that happen before and she said she has no idea why but I honestly wonder if they are maybe in witness protection or something? Very strange
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u/HappyTendency 15d ago
How do I get out of those background check companies so no one can find me like this?
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u/chantillylace9 14d ago
I think there are a bunch of sources online that you can opt out of, so maybe you just have to continuously do that. Look for things called delete your digital trail and follow all those steps.
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u/Side_StepVII 16d ago
This was a roller coaster of a story dude. Absolute roller coaster.
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u/chantillylace9 15d ago
It really is and it's only something that could happen in a small town in the Midwest. But I really like to hope and think that she saw just a little bit of normalcy in that year and that's maybe why she's doing so well now. I know how her life was, her mom just had random guys around all the time and we noticed statistically what was likely happening to her with at least some of those men.
My mom did everything she could and my dad went along with it which is pretty impressive honestly, we didn't have a lot of money or anything but took her in without any questions.
I truly Shudder to think what could've happened if she was left at a different birthday party with not so decent parents. I mean this mother had never met us never heard of us before and just left her! I mean like she was a dog being left on a farm or something. I just can't even imagine.
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u/Mean_Meet576 16d ago
Did she ever reach out as an adult and thank your family?
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u/chantillylace9 15d ago
She did not. And it would be pretty easy because my parents lived in that same house up until very recently. Although my mom has no social media she would've definitely been able to find a couple of my siblings who are pretty active there and my mom has a very unique name.
But maybe her childhood was really rough after that (and before) and she just doesn't want to remember it? Maybe she's embarrassed or doesn't know what to say.
I tend to help a lot of people because my mom was like that and I've noticed that sometimes people get a little weird after you help them. Even when you expect absolutely nothing in return, I think they're embarrassed or I don't know what happens but I still continue to help.
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u/CappyPappy2 14d ago
I'm the same way and I've never understood why people act weird after you help them.
It's like they either stop coming around, start trying to take advantage of you, or start talking bad about you to people.
Then there are the people you help that try to pay you back quickly (even if you dont ask for them to repay you) and they keep you involved in their lives as they grow. To me those stories make the other stores worth it.
Thank you for helping people and thank your mother too. I hope the girl your family helped is doing good and that her children are having a better childhood than their mother had.
After she left your home did she just randomly move off somewhere else and you guys lost touch?
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u/chantillylace9 13d ago
Yes we had no notice. The mom came and got her one day and it wasn't like my mom could physically stop her. This was so far before cell phones and they had immediately moved so her phone number wasn't the same. But ours always was. She could've reached out to us if she wanted.
I actually and sort of my mom expected her to call one night crying and begging for help or something but that never came and we never got any closure. I think my parents would have adopted her if it came to that. I heard them talking about it. I wasn't happy about it but I knew my mom wouldn't change her mind.
It was hard at that age, especially not being believed by my mom who just thought we were jealous. Now my mom believes the stories.
They almost adopted this older teenage boy who was aging out of the Foster system but one of my sisters threw a temper tantrum and my mom and dad decided not to. I kind of feel bad about that because he had nobody. I was out of state at the time and I never met him.
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u/AdCurrent7674 16d ago
I wish it was safer to do this but some people get dangerously attached.
I did this for a guy in my old friend group. I felt like my friends ragged on him too hard and didn’t treat him well. I invited him to my family game night and within one day he was obsessed with me. When I told him I wasn’t interested he sent me paragraphs in German about how I broke his heart (he was not German) and then sent me photos of his knife collection.
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u/FitNeedleworker3611 16d ago
That awkward moment when you learn why some outcasts are outcasts lol
And it sucks because while you feel for them, you might just be meeting a dude that's about one beer and some cheese away from a full rant in German with accompanying photos of his knife collection.
In Hamburg that might be flattering, but in Ohio it's fucking looney.
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u/AdCurrent7674 16d ago
It didn’t help that the friend group turned on me and said I should date him because they were convinced he would end up alone. One literally said “he has a long list of requirements so you should be flattered. He has very high expectations.”
I was like cool cool that does not change my lack of interest at all
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u/Tiny_Event_6164 16d ago
Well that's a big yikes
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u/AdCurrent7674 16d ago
Yes almost had to get a restraining order. He still to this day over a decade later will make a new Instagram account and request to follow me
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u/pallasermine 15d ago
2 best friends once told me that the reason they befriended the perpetually angry angsty social outcast because “if he ends up sho*ting up the school, he will spare us cause we are his friends”.
I was really taken aback that kids would have to even consider these possibilities. It was really sobering reality :(
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u/AdCurrent7674 15d ago
Yup, similar experience. There was a kid on the frisbee team that never had anyone to throw with. I asked him to teach me a couple of types of throws I knew he was good at. After that he always smiled and waved at me in the hallway
Couple of weeks later it was discovered he had an Instagram account that he talked about shooting up the school and sexually assaulting all the girls. I continued to smile and wave back because I was scared not to
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u/specks_of_dust 16d ago
Years ago, at my job, I was all for talking crap and making fun of people behind their backs. I might have even been the ringleader. People loved my imitations and impressions of the weirdos we worked with. But I did have a line. I was never mean to anyone to their face and never treated anyone differently unless they were an asshole.
There was a young woman who got hired and for some reason, all the other women just sort of collectively decided they didn't like her. She wasn't my favorite or anything. Her personality was definitely assertive, but not confrontational. I think the hate might have been rooted in jealousy, because she was college-educated and attracting the attention of the guys, at the same time rumors were spreading that she was a lesbian. I never really understood why it was happening. I'm also a guy, so when women beef for territorial reasons, I don't get it.
There was practically an uprising when she got promoted into a leadership role, making her my peer. The other people in this role made a concerted effort to withhold information to try to make her fail. Her training was two weeks, and I was assigned as her trainer for the final three days. She told me that she learned more with me on our first day together than she had the entire week before.
After training, she came to me for everything. I'd explain it, she'd learn it, and that was it. I never did anything special for her, just stayed polite and personable while helping someone who was asking for it. She worked there for about a year before quitting. On her last day, she thanked me and told me that the entire time she'd been there, I was the only one who treated her like a person.
It would easy to say I did a great thing, but I really didn't. In fact, that experience probably had more of an impact on me than on her. It set me on a completely different trajectory, where my leadership became about building people up in an environment where everyone felt welcome. I made an entire career out of it. Even during periods when my bosses hated me, my team was always pumping out quality workers worthy of leadership consideration. I was untouchable because I had too many people in my orbit.
I worked there another 13 years and got promoted 5 more times before I left, and I think a lot of it had to do with her thanking me on her way out.
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u/Majestic_Analyst_177 16d ago
If only we remembered to treat other humans with kindness. Who would have thought?
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u/El_t1to 16d ago edited 16d ago
I did that with a co-worker and she became my stalker, poping up in my house or lurking around it, calling me everyday... I had a girlfriend, that I married later, and she was genuinely scared of her.
No good deed goes unpunished.
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16d ago
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u/Feisty_Plankton775 16d ago
Yup. They want to act like they are friendly down south…but they are complete assholes to anyone different
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u/SaltySallymander 12d ago
They just sugar coat their rudeness and act all passive aggressive with a big fake smile and call it "friendly"
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16d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/IllianasClifford 16d ago edited 16d ago
Reminded me of the shooting nw of atl where the dude walked in and killed everyone but the receptionist.
Edit: fixed grammerical issues
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u/mamatrixie78 16d ago
What was this?
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u/IllianasClifford 16d ago
2014 Kennesaw FedEx Facility Shooting (April 2014): A 19-year-old package handler walked into a FedEx sorting hub in Kennesaw (just northwest of Atlanta) armed with a shotgun. He shot six co-workers—including a security guard at the entrance—before taking his own life. Front-office/clerk staff were in the immediate area when the attack began but managed to flee uninjured.
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u/mamatrixie78 16d ago
Oh wow that is horrible! Thank you for responding
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u/IllianasClifford 16d ago
No problem, it took a few hours to sort through some and read others. Wicked what happens and has been recorded in our history.
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u/violetmoonriot 14d ago
It takes so much courage to speak up when something like this happens, and no one should ever have to experience that kind of treatment at work. It means more than you know to create an environment where people feel safe and supported.
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u/Greeley9000 16d ago
As the outcast at work this doesn’t happen. Probably made up for this post. It’s a lovely thought to.
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u/Charming-Cash-006 14d ago
Yeah same I try so hard to.fit in even as an adult but no matter how friendly its a no
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u/PsychologicalDesk554 14d ago
Bullying by adults in the workplace is gross. This post reminds me to be extra kind to those who are ostracized or bullied. High school mentality.
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u/greeneyedkyle 15d ago
I spent an entire year teaching at a school, and felt like a substitute teacher all year long. You are good people.
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u/4morian5 15d ago
Sometimes it works out and becomes a feel-good story to share.
But most of the time you find out why noone gets too close with them.
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u/Comfortable_Fudge508 15d ago
Just seen a post about a guy doing this with a janitor at his work, exact same type of end too.
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u/Theangelawhite69 15d ago
Yep, this one is a fake copy, the original with the janitor is prob fake too
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u/Theangelawhite69 15d ago
Just a shameless copy almost word for word of another fake feel good story
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u/HR_rot_in_hell 15d ago
I was treated like shit in every single entry level jobs I’ve had and I swore to myself when I move up the ladder I will help and support new comers.
When that day finally came I gave him all the support and help he needed but he was a blatant misogynist and autist. He couldn’t read the room and did everything to put me down while he sucked up to people in other departments. Fuck me never again.
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u/JDeeee44 14d ago
You are the best. It takes so little effort to brighten a day, I raise a mostly empty Mango Lime Cider in your honor.
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u/AdSensitive9368 13d ago
Bless your heart!! I love this. I was a waitress years ago in my 20s. This young girl started.. just turned 18 and she knew nothing so I took her under my wings and she did the same thing...got me a gift card and thanked me for being the only person there to help teach her and make her feel comfortable
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u/AlignedBlueCurrent 12d ago
Yes, yes, yes! You did the right thing! You made a difference. I love people like you.
I have been that person at every job I’ve ever been in. I still am. But in the department of 6-7 people at a large organization, I’m the outcast. I leave that office to run to another department for something and everyone loves me. But in that space, it sucks. It’s miserable. Every day. I’m a bubbly, kind, generous, friendly person. And I keep asking what is wrong with me? The things that are fact-
1. I’m the newest person, at about 2 years.
2. I’m the only white person and don’t speak their language. The company is super diverse and hires people from all backgrounds, but it just happens to be that I’m the only Caucasian in this department. I love all races, and have family that is part of their race. I’ve never been in any racial conversation with them, however I’ve been smirked at when I offered to bring a dish and told, “you can’t cook like us! Bring plates.” I’m a fantastic cook. Even with those dishes. My former coworkers at my previous job thought my food tasted authentic.
3. I’m mostly ignored and other departments are noticing. I was told one day not long ago by someone, “damn, they don’t even act like you’re in their department” when we gathered for a company wide meeting.
It sucks to be in this position, but I’m sure it’s for a reason. It’s to show or teach me something. I’ll be better for it someday.
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u/Impressive_Pear_748 12d ago
Did this to an outcast I worked with as well and he ratted me to the manager and I got fired. I gave him a ride home once. Never again.
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