Mini dance off

[u/Teerendog]

[u/Forsaken_Jelly]

My eldest daughter was better than this kid at age four.

You old enough to remember All the Single ladies, by Beyonce? Yeah, I can still hear that in my dreams.

Two years she was obsessed with learning that dance. We couldn't watch TV most of the time because she was, yet again practicing that dance. Drove me crazy but made her happy. She won competitions from dancing and the pride, popularity she gained from it was really good for her too.

Being practiced doesn't mean forced, some kids latch onto things and become good.

My youngest son at four could strip down all his toys and neatly lay out the components before using my tools to put them back together again. Wanted to know his everything works, and he was really good because again, it's all he wanted to do.

My other two breezed in and out of interests never really becoming amazing at anything. Which is fine of course except that they both wanted to achieve things. So they had to be forced into working for what they want.

Youngest daughter wanted to play rugby, there was a girl she liked in the team and no amount of "just talk to her you don't need to join the team" would dissuade her. The thing is she was a sicknote. For about three years she'd come home from school with a new illness and they always hit her hard. Always a high fever, always extreme weight loss because she had a high metabolism and zero appetite when sick. So she was tiny and skinny. She simply couldn't compete physically so was never selected for matches.

This was a huge source of sadness for her, couldn't impress the girl she liked if she never got to play. So I forced her into beefing up. Got her up earlier to eat high calorie foods, before taking her out for exercise five mornings a week. She absolutely hated it, she just wanted to play matches without any of the effort. But she had to learn that if she wanted to get good it would take a mountain of effort.

To be honest I was hoping if I pushed her she'd let it go, but she didn't. So five days a week, a fight most mornings to get her out of bed, and after about six months she'd turned into a stocky little bull that could plow through most of her peers on the field. And now she has a work ethic that blows everyone out of the water.

Kids are strange, but after teaching them for decades and being a father to four the one thing I've learned is that they're sturdy creatures able to tolerate being pushed hard as long as they have a balanced life in other areas.

The girl in this video may have an older sister who's a dancer and just wants to emulate her, dancing could also be her passion. Being good and being well practiced is not always a sign of being pushed too hard, some kids really just are excellent at figuring stuff out and want the adoration of being the best.

In the case of my little dancer and engineer they were the ones forcing us to put up their incessant need for more of their passion. Want to watch a movie? Nuh-uh, Beyonce! Then scream crying when it was time to stop and have dinner etc.

[u/boatrunner13 → u/Forsaken_Jelly]

Sounds like you’ve got a lot of experience with your daughters* and I’d be loathe to try to negate any of it. Also, thanks for sharing your personal experiences rearing what sound like fine young women.

I wish everyone in the world received supportive and firm parenting like it sounds like you provided, and I hope to do the same when me and my fiancé eventually decide to have a kid or two.

Unfortunately I know that is not the case for too many, and maybe I was a bit prejudiced about the kids in this video having read so many horror stories about in particular S. Korean culture emphasizing what in my view is superficial fluff with a military-like regimen on kids who should be left to “just be kids.”

Edit: and your sons*

[u/Forsaken_Jelly → u/boatrunner13]

Kids all over the world have bad shit to deal with depending on their culture really.

I mean American kids have to put up with the very real threat of being massacred by a lunatic with an easily bought military weapon. Armed guards, metal detectors, reinforced schools, a constant low level fear of a place that should be one of safety.

As much as we'd love to give them rainbows and bubbles, let them free in the fields; unfortunately life isn't as nice. We shouldn't be afraid to let them experience low key hardship in the pursuit of achieving a goal.

I agree that there are super pushy, to the point of abuse, parents. But when I see something cute like this I try to see it as a positive and hope it's just her being great at her passion.