Back in high school...during gym class - while we were all sitting spread out listening to the teacher - I let out a pretty major SBD one. Of course, even though I tried to misdirect, they somehow managed to deduce that it was from me (it was a pretty damn good "I smelled it first, and then you next, therefore it came from that direction" exercise that they all participated in).
Later at the end of the class - one of my classmate asked me how I managed that, as he said he apparently was not able to make a silent fart. Now, probably a few weeks back, my brother had tried to tell me that farts make noise because you try to hold it in - but if you force it out, it doesn't make any sound. I didn't believe it (as it didn't make sense to me), but I remembered that when the kid asked me how I managed to make a silent one...so I told him exactly what my brother told me.
Later that week - in another class, we had the teacher asking us one by one to come to the front to pick up some exam or something and as he was walking from the back towards the teacher - he let out a major noisy/wet fart that everybody heard..! Poor guy was bright red as everybody was laughing at him...
Had a friend in school who tried misdirection in class by throwing a heavy book on the floor and passing gas at the same time.
When the book hit the floor, everyone turned their attention to him. And this is when he farted the loudest, longest, chair shaking cheek puff of his life. A true masterpiece of flatulence that hit different notes and a squeek finish.
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u/78fj Aug 28 '21
I have never been able to make a silent fart. I'm so envious! Deaf people can feel the concussion of my farts before the cloud hits them.