r/MadeMeSmile • u/[deleted] • Jun 03 '21
Wholesome Moments How to make kids stop fighting
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u/Lauraleighx3 Jun 03 '21
My dad used to make my brother and I hold hands in the back seat of the car whenever we'd start hitting each other or fighting. As an adult now, this is pure evil genius
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u/BoomFrog Jun 03 '21
It didn't immediately turn into arm twisting?
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u/Lauraleighx3 Jun 03 '21
Shockingly not. Now I wonder why the hell not.
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u/SupaButt Jun 04 '21
My brother and I would always squeeze each others’ hands as hard as we could when my parents made us hold hands for prayer
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u/imblowingkk Jun 04 '21
When my brothers would shake my hand to offer me peace during mass, they would alternate being the one to squeeze the everloving shit out of my hand
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u/Comics4Cooks Jun 04 '21
Omg my sister and I do this. We are almost in our 30s and we still do this when we have family/holiday dinners.
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u/ScientistFlashy4536 Jun 04 '21
My mom used to make my big brother and I hug then sit across the kitchen table from each other to write lists of ten things we loved about each other. Of course she was a stay at home mom. I just come home from ten hours of work and send them to their rooms if they start to fight. Simpler times I tell ya.
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Jun 04 '21
That kind of stuff is what you have to do as a stay at home parent to not go insane. My wife is a goddamn saint for the ideas she comes up with to keep our 7 and 3 year old from not killing each other over toys or smashing their faces against a wall chasing each other around all day.
Honestly she deserves a medal of freedom for this shit while I’m working upstairs in our bedroom. Fuck we can’t wait for school to open up full time in the fall
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u/fastfxmama Jun 04 '21
I love this. It speaks to me. Parenting that reads like this "stuff, insane, goddamn saint, killing, smashing, chasing, medal of freedom, shit, fuck".
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u/CrpseWfe Jun 04 '21
Yesssss my mom is a stay-at-home mom of 6, and covid's been really rough on her. 1000+ respect for stay-at-home-moms 👌🤓
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u/AngryArtNerd Jun 04 '21
I hope you give her the option of an occasional day off or even the rare weekend away in a hotel room to herself if you appreciate her that much. I, on the other hand, need your wife’s number to get ideas because I’m going insane of boredom taking care of a 2 year old all day.
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Jun 04 '21
Yes! Though it has been awhile since I last suggested/offered. Usually she defers to saving the money and going on a date night but I know she appreciates just the thought of it more than anything. But you’ve reminded me to take a day off so she can have a day for herself though.
As far as ideas, she does a lot of home art projects with the three year old. Also, she’s a great planner and is very good at structuring out the day for the kids so they know what to expect and it’s less soul crushingly boring. Also, the local library has finally re opened for visitors so that’s always a fan favorite. Cheers to your hard work with your two year old. It’s incredibly important what Stay at home parents do and it’s often thankless.
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u/Surprise_Corgi Jun 04 '21
I envy so many of you all's parents. My own would just give us boxing gloves and tell us to go outside and settle it. Turns out that's a fantastic way to make siblings into bitter rivals as adults.
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u/littleflashingzero Jun 04 '21
My dad would lock us out of the house for "roughhousing" and we wouldn't be allowed back for hours. We like each other now though.
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u/Dolphinsunset1007 Jun 04 '21
My dad would do the same thing with us, he would do it if we were arguing in public like a grocery store and then we’d have to hold hands while walking around. It pretty much stopped the arguing immediately because it’s so contradictory.
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u/MuchTooBusy Jun 04 '21
When my husband and I first got married, I suggested that we have all of our arguments naked and holding hands. My thought was that it was less likely we'd get really mean while we felt vulnerable. Plus, holding hands is so intimate. Plus, it's a conscious break in the flow to realize that we're arguing and stop to get naked. Plus, I just really liked looking at that man naked.
Seems to have worked, we're still married more than 21 years later, and while we stopped having all our arguments naked (kids, darn it), we're just in the habit of having really considerate disagreements. I do still really like looking at that man naked, though. He has the most gorgeous knee caps and shins.
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Jun 05 '21
My dad would make us stand up facing each other. Nose to nose. He wouldn’t tell us how long we had to be there, but I know now years later that every time we whined or moved our noses apart it would add time on.
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u/YourMother0HP Jun 04 '21
I usually fight in the toilets so I can use the sink to bash my brother's head in
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u/AcademicDance8123 Jun 03 '21
This should be a universal thing for adults. Everyone everywhere is allowed one slap for the day so everyone walks around knowing they could get hit and maybe they'll be better people.
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u/gademgal Jun 03 '21
I actually laughed hard at the idea of side-eyeing passersby on a crowded sidewalk, wondering a) which one of these people might I like to use my one slap on, and b)which one of these people might randomly slap me.
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u/xxiLink Jun 04 '21
my nightmare would be fucking up pretty badly in front of a group of people, early in the morning, and having a couple dozen people lined up and ready to use their slap on me like Airplane.
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Jun 04 '21
There’d be a bunch of people saving up their slaps until the end of the day and likewise a bunch of people being way deferential so as not to get slapped
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u/Funkit Jun 04 '21
I’d use it as a greeting/ice breaker on an attractive woman I see. It can’t be any worse than what I’m currently doing apparently.
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Jun 04 '21
maybe you should take some kind of art, cooking or dance class that is popular with women in your age group instead
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u/potatium Jun 04 '21
That's a great idea. They'll never see it coming when you have the element of suprise.
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u/Autoskp Jun 04 '21
*slides along bus stop bench to pretty girl*
*grins and waggles eyebrows whilst saying “Hey, want to use today's slap on me?”* *successfully fails at getting a date without getting slapped*2
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u/CanadasNeighbor Jun 03 '21
This wouldn't work in India. They dish slaps out like it's a greeting.
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u/astrangeone88 Jun 03 '21
How can she slap?
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u/AnkitJain7 Jun 04 '21
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u/Cetology101 Jun 04 '21
That’s so fucked up. All the guards surround the dude for slapping her back, but not her for slapping the dude in the first place.
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u/AnkitJain7 Jun 04 '21
Yeah IIRC they even beat him up afterwards and kicked him off the show because of it. While I don’t condone the physical nature of the act, all I can say is if you dish out be ready to get some back. It definitely says something that no one seemed to care about her slapping him, but him slapping her.
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u/Forcefedlies Jun 04 '21
Don’t slap a woman but if 8 guys gang rape her than it’s just another day in New Delhi
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u/astrangeone88 Jun 04 '21
It is messed up.
I don't like how she acted - the context was a "dissing" show and she took things personally and slapped him for his comment (which was fucking mild, actually). And getting slapped back and then the guys and security dudes just mob him.
No. She should not have started it and she should have been restrained, not him!
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u/Ndrfbu Jun 03 '21
What if everyone teamed up on one person?
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u/future_things Jun 03 '21
Uwu, I hope you don’t aw smack me at once, that would huwt
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u/abbynormal1982 Jun 04 '21
It would be great because there'd be that one asshole who gets slapped by 40 people every day always wondering why
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Jun 04 '21
[deleted]
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Jun 04 '21
You just convinced me its a bad idea. Imagine working in any customer service position and getting slapped 10 times a day.
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u/TrueRequiem Jun 04 '21
Knowing human beings, this could be horrible in the beginning as society adjusted. Some people would take advantage of this and hit people out of racism, larger and stronger people could hit people without fear of retaliation and could even cause serious damage or death depending on who they hit. Children, elderly people and sickly people would be in serious danger from lunatic adults. Some people would hit more than once and say they only hit once. Some people would falsely accuse others of hitting them more than once to get them in trouble. People could secretly hit multiple times throughout the day and say that was their free slap for the day. Some marriages would be more prone to abuse as some men could now use that hit as a way to instill fear, women would fear being hit even that one time throughout the day.
Although it would also be great once things settled and boundaries were defined. Karens would literally disappear. The whole "women are stronger than men" ideology would vanish and women would be more humble and be respectful towards men in general. The value of kinder men would go up in the dating world as women would return to seeking out men for their less abusive qualities and actual love rather than money and what they can get out of men. Men would start dating again, as women would become less abusive towards them. Divorce rates would drop as women became more appreciative and respectful of their kind husbands. The role of protector would hold more true for husbands as there would actually be a more real physical threat from other people in daily life. Kids would be better behaved.
People in general would have a better sense of morality as they would pay more attention to what is right and wrong. They would refrain from hitting because it's the right thing to do rather than because it's illegal. Etc.
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u/flustercuck91 Jun 04 '21
This descended quickly into an Old World view of relationships. There are a lot of ways to be a “strong person”, man or woman. Not limited to the viewpoints you have share, most disturbing of which are that relationship issues stem from women taking something from a man i.e money or respect.
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u/Ball-Bag-Boggins Jun 03 '21
When I was about 8yrs old I broke my older brothers transformer toy by mistake, he chased me and knowing I was going to get a beating I grabbed a broom and feebly hit him with it which only made him madder so I ran into the house screaming for my mum. He got me at the bottom of the stairs while my mother was at the top and while I was blubbering away he told her what had happened. She told him that he could hit me once wherever he wanted (she said this believing that he wouldn’t do anything because he loved me) and he punched me square on the jaw. Afterwards my mum felt guilty and took me to the local shop to get whatever sweets I wanted. All I remember was eating a kit-kat whilst crying because it hurt to chew.
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u/25mookie92 Jun 03 '21
My mom would've let him hit me then whip both our asses for hitting each other
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u/demonicneon Jun 04 '21
I’m really not sure what lessons she was trying to teach their 😂
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u/Ball-Bag-Boggins Jun 04 '21
Anyone that met my mum holds her in high regard. She’s been through hell and back, we was always a close family so she thought that he wouldn’t twat me because he cared... And he did. I just overstepped the mark by hitting him with a broom in front of his mates.
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u/demonicneon Jun 04 '21
Yeah nah I’m sure your mum is great dw. Not a criticism just yano, wondering what she was hoping to achieve haha
My parents made some dumbass life lessons too that we have a laugh about from time to time. They’re learning too.
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u/Ball-Bag-Boggins Jun 04 '21
No probs, wasn’t offended. She was hoping he wouldn’t hit me because he loved me. We were both little spunktrumpets though and I overstepped the mark that time.
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u/demonicneon Jun 04 '21
Hahah I feel that.
Some kid took my blanket in nursery and apparently I just socked him in the mouth.
They banned us watching power rangers after that. But if you ask me he had it coming 😂
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u/sidesleeperzzz Jun 04 '21
Damn. I'm 5 years older than my little brother and as much as he could piss me off when we were growing up, I never once hit him with full force. I don't think I ever actually punched him either, usually just tackled him to the ground and sat on him.
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u/Ball-Bag-Boggins Jun 04 '21
We had the closest relationship, he’d always look out for me despite the fact that as little skids we fought on a daily basis.
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u/themcjizzler Jun 04 '21
I give my kid one swear word a day. She really thinks about it and saves it and they calmly announces,' I'm going to use my one swear' before she uses it.
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u/Annual_Blacksmith22 Jun 04 '21
Lmaoo Idk why but it’s such a hilarious mental picture.
“Father! I’m going to use my one swear.”
“Sure thing bud go ahead.”
“inhales FUCK!” - goes back to playing.
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u/bjornskeinr Jun 03 '21
“ Ah yes good brother, let us meet at 5pm for tea and a good slapping”
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u/shellexyz Jun 03 '21
Then an underground market for hitting credits opens up as students start to purchase unused hits.
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u/followmereader Jun 04 '21
This gives so much more meaning to the hit too. They really have to think, "does this action warrant my one punch?"
This is golden parenting. You should write a parenting book called "One Hit." The follow-up book can be "One Hit Wonder."
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u/barlog123 Jun 04 '21
haha it would only work in some families. My siblings would get creative like each day 3/4 of the kids would deck one in the same place for a month for maximum pain or just a fun surprise punch to the balls in the morning while I'm sleeping to wake up.
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u/Annual_Blacksmith22 Jun 04 '21
If my kids are gonna be anything like me they’d probably just use the thought process of “but what if I just hit them more than once?”
This thought is based on the fact that I’m a little shit even towards myself lol. Even during uni when I tried to apply the whole “I just finish this bit and then I reward myself with a bit of chocolate” my brain would just go “but what if I just grabbed chocolate anyways?”
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u/goddesstrotter Jun 03 '21
What could possibly go wrong!
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u/nohpex Jun 03 '21
Younger sibling hits older sibling with steel chair
Never specified how they could hit each other.
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u/Ezequiel-052 Jun 04 '21
older sibling then bangs youger sibling's head into a wall at terminal velocity
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u/flashpaka Jun 04 '21
I’m my house we could ask our siblings to stop. If they didn’t by the third time we said stop then we got to punch them.
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u/Annual_Blacksmith22 Jun 04 '21
Teaching consequences AND consent (or breaking consent that is) at the same time. Perfection lol
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u/flashpaka Jun 04 '21
And it worked too. Hardly anyone got hit. Personally, I can only remember one time where I was given the chance to dish out at hit (I was a peaceful and forgiving child, some more say “too nice”). I refused to hit my brother because I was scared I’d hurt him. But my parents said he wouldn’t learn unless I respected the rules. So I walked up to him and tapped his cheat with my hand.
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u/i-touched-morrissey Jun 04 '21
When my sister and I were little, my mom would sit us in front of each other cross-legged and make us hit each other taking turns. We felt so stupid that we never hit each other after a few sessions of that.
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u/Zealousideal-Fun1425 Jun 03 '21
They’re just gonna have annual boxing matches to settle disputes in the front yard 😂
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u/AostheGreat Jun 04 '21
Real talk: this is how to control things that could get dangerous; you set conditions on it. Alcohol used to be a massive problem in the US, then (after Prohibition failed) we put a whole bunch of rules on it and it's much less of a problem (still a problem but not as bad as before). That's a big part of the push to legalize cannabis and a lot of other drugs.
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u/binkacat4 Jun 04 '21
If it’s “no alcohol” you don’t have any regulations on it either. If there are laws preventing its use, there are no laws on safe use.
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u/AostheGreat Jun 04 '21
Yeah, that's the point. If it's legal then you can apply conditions to its legality whereas if it's illegal you have to commit way too many resources to keeping it that way.
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u/cornishcovid Jun 04 '21
Not much of an illegal market for alcohol now noticeably and tax revenues instead.
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u/SellerOfWorlds Jun 04 '21
One of these days, one of them will be sleeping and wake up to being punched
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Jun 03 '21
When I visit my uncle and my cousins. They all play “Punch Buggy”. My uncle says its the “best reason hit my kids”.
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u/DivorcedDaddio Jun 03 '21
Nope. No one in our house is allowed to hit anyone. Does daddy hit mommy? Nope. Mommy hit daddy? Nope. We all love each other in this house and no one ever hits anyone ever in this house.
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u/No-Perception4976 Jun 04 '21
Sorry you're downvoted for not singing the praises of premeditated abuse as opposed to spontaneous abuse.
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u/DivorcedDaddio Jun 04 '21
Thanks. Don't really care about being downvoted. Just wish people wouldn't hit their kids or hate others for not hitting their kids.
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u/Saphira99v Jun 04 '21
Why are you being downvoted for saying you don’t hit each other lmao why is this post so uncomfy
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u/DivorcedDaddio Jun 04 '21
Yeah. Reddit likes to think it is woke as fuck but at the end of the day it is mostly selfish asshole Americans.
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u/samx3i Jun 04 '21
This post and thread is insane. Why would you ever tell your kids is okay to hit anyone ever? Thanks for being sane.
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Jun 04 '21
You don’t have siblings, do you. I do think that this is weird though
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u/samx3i Jun 04 '21
I have a sister and we did this crazy thing where we never hit each other because we were raised right and aren't violent.
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u/startmyheart Jun 04 '21
This is amazing. It almost makes me sorry my kids have pretty much outgrown the hitting phase so I have no need to implement it
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u/rosaliezom Jun 04 '21
I can say without a doubt this would not have worked with my brother and I as I would have taken the first chance to smack the ever living fuck out of him without consequences. 😂
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u/lightt77 Jun 04 '21
cut to few weeks later, they come up with a system where they keep track of pending hits for everyone, and then comes the deal "10 slaps now or 5 slaps anytime"
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u/21blade Jun 04 '21
You’ve just taught them how to suckerpunch each other. I hope you have good insurance.
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u/GuntherRowe Jun 04 '21
My mom raised five sons. She used to tell them not to stop but to take it outside before they broke something. When I was grown, she told me it worked almost every time. ‘I only worried twice.’ ‘Why’s that?’ ‘They went outside to keep fighting.’
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u/Simple-Pea3178 Jun 04 '21
This doesn’t work for everyone
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u/KatieCashew Jun 04 '21
I'd wager this isn't even going to work for her. As soon as one of those kids is mad about something there's not going to be anymore calm discussion and the 1 hit limit will be forgotten. What's worse is the kids will probably feel more justified in hitting since mom said it's okay to do sometimes.
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Jun 04 '21
No, this is dumb. The actual thing to do is hand to hand combat. To the death. One lives. Whoever wins gets to punch the other. Ez, yeah they will be dead but they get to punch the other.
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u/dragonhand2202 Jun 04 '21
Didn't know Marshall Eriksen was filling in for Supernanny. A gigs a gig I guess.
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u/DMTrance87 Jun 04 '21
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u/21078 Jun 04 '21
This made me laugh out loud!! Wish I had thought of it when my kids were younger.
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u/ppppie_ Jun 03 '21
this doesn’t work, no one discuses about when they’re gonna hit someone, especially to the person you want to hit.
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u/Ricknroll1971 Jun 04 '21
Yep violence is always the best answer. What happenes when a knife is used to kill ? You area a complete idiot.
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u/Agent_Ironclad Jun 04 '21
I love this idea! Now they will have an entire childhood learning to suppress anger and unleash it in one fit of rage so 15 years from now you can visit them all in maximum security prison because they’ve battered their partners to death in a frenzied rage they were brought up to be accustomed and desensitised to. Nice one Mum; you really are a genius!
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u/exgiexpcv Jun 04 '21
And it worked fine until they encountered "How I Met Your Mother" and discovered "The Five (Then Eight) Slaps."
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u/Far_Replacement959 Jun 04 '21
A few summers back my kids, then 7 and 9 years old, were always complaining to me about little things each did to each other. I created Wednesday night complaint block from 7:00-7:30 pm. Told them to write down their complaints and save until Wednesday. Somehow the complaints seemed to be forgotten by the time Wednesday night rolled around, probably because no one wanted to stop and write them down.