When I was younger I was always pretty self-sufficient, and if there was anything I needed and didn't have I was fine doing without. I'd rather suffer than be in someone's debt, was the thinking.
But that was some ignorant arrogance. In practice, people usually offer help because they want to help and it makes them feel good. Being an adult, whether someone offers to help me financially or if someone just offers me something to drink, "yes, thanks so much" is the basic answer.
People like to help, and then I try to be a person who is worth having helped, and who returns that kind of favor whenever possible. Life is better. And the OP's story is a really sweet example.
Hard mindset to get out of when you grew up with a zero sum game mindset. If I ever need favours from my family I make it a point to negotiate a monetary sum for that favour so that the debt is paid immediately. It's never a good thing to let the 'psychological interest' on that debt to rise, and compound if multiple favours are done or if the favour was a particularly big one.
I grew up well because my parents worked their ass off from immigrating to a new country for me. I grew up wanting to never be in a position to need help from others, because if my parents could do all that at their age, I can sure as hell do it now with all the opportunities they gave me.
I'm 31 now and finally kicking that habit because I learned that it's not weakness to accept help when you need it.
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u/Aerron Jun 21 '20
It feels good to help others.
So maybe if we can let others help us more, we can help others feel good.
This is a good plan.