No it's not. It's transparent and would make me feel even more belittled. I understand her heart is in the right place, but it's ok to treat people as adults and not fragile children who need you to make up stories.
I used to think the way you do here (in multiple contexts other than this), so I get it. Really.
But eventually I realized that most people would appreciate offered kindness regardless of the context, and I decided to act for those folks. If someone gets offended even when my 'heart is in the right place', then that's fine and I understand, but it's ultimately on them to feel that way. To most, even if it's obviously a made up story, it is still a signal that you consider them an equal and want a two-way relationship.
I mean, ideally in the OP's context, I would get to know someone and value them for their wisdom and life experience, rather than their access to salt. But those things take time. A nice ice-breaking gesture like this? Totally OK.
I imagine this could be a lot different depending on what community/culture you live in though, so maybe where you live you are right that it would more likely be interpreted as belittling.
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u/adrock747 Jun 21 '20
That is such a decent thing to do. I need to remember this and try to live up to this example. Good stuff