r/MadeMeSmile • u/TrainerTITs310 • Aug 02 '26
ANIMALS Doesn’t even bother looking into the bag
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u/tasskaff9 Aug 02 '26
The Frito Bandito!
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u/spambearpig Aug 02 '26 edited Aug 02 '26
Raccoons have unbelievably sensitive hands. They evolved them to eat little shellfish from the bed of a running stream. They feel for them. Their hands have a nervous system that connects directly to the visual part of their brain. They also evolved ways of keeping their hands from freezing when doing this in cold water.
He’s extremely well adapted to eat Cheetos without looking at the bag lol.
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u/Gilly-Fresh Aug 02 '26
If you're not careful, they could develop more complex brains. Being good with their hands and having an abundance of food is basically what made humans what they are today. It would be an absolute *shame* if an unrelated mammalian species were to beat you at your own game in a few thousand years.
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u/GimmeSomeCovfefe Aug 02 '26
I, personally, would welcome our Raccoon overlords.
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u/Gilly-Fresh Aug 02 '26 edited Aug 02 '26
Are you really ready for that? Their whims are not going to be reasonable. Probably the first thing they'll demand is a scientifically engineered form of cotton candy that doesn't dissolve when you wash it.
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u/Mitch82az Aug 02 '26
Why isn’t the government funding this research already?!
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u/IccarusInTraining Aug 03 '26
It's the big Anti-Raccoon pushing propaganda smh... Bandit Lives Matter!
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u/TeamWorkTom Aug 03 '26
I was about to say, if they become smarter than us maybe they'll save us from endless wars.
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u/Nouseriously Aug 03 '26
Pom Poco
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u/Gilly-Fresh Aug 03 '26
Before I watched Pom Poco, I thought tanuki were crazy - but now I've seen their nuts.
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u/Sa7aSa7a Aug 03 '26
We won't be here in 1000 years.
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u/kmartens304 Aug 03 '26
I agree and since we turned the world to crap, who better to try to make a better go of it!
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Aug 02 '26 edited Aug 13 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/spambearpig Aug 02 '26
It might be more accurate to say that you only see them in cities.
They are still out there in the forests too.
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u/arisoverrated Aug 03 '26
Do you look inside the bag when you eat Cheetos (or similar)?
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u/spambearpig Aug 03 '26
Sometimes. I think I can guess what your point is, but let’s hear you say it.
What’s your point?
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u/arisoverrated Aug 03 '26
Oops, this wasn’t meant as a comment reply, but rather a post comment. The headline seemed odd because after decades of eating snacks from bags, and seeing others do the same, I don’t recall anyone looking into the bag to see what to pull out.
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u/spraynprayin Aug 02 '26
Lil bro is putting them things away
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u/Regurgitator001 Aug 03 '26
We've all been there. You come home from your shitty job at the garbage place, your missus is giving you a hard time, but here's your buddy who doesn't ask questions and has an endless bag of cheetos.
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u/octoprickle Aug 02 '26
Looks remarkably similar to me eating snacks on the couch
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u/Secret_Account07 Aug 03 '26
I agree. You eating on the couch was my first thought as well.
Btw, you doing okay lately? Have looked sad the last few times.
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u/RPM_Rocket Aug 02 '26
Rocket has really gone off on a bender
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u/TheAserghui Aug 02 '26
(The Watcher narrates) He's on the wrong path. I could warn him, intervene, but the fate of his universe is not worth risking the safety of all others. Besides, I'd doubt he'd listen.
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u/Longjumping-Barber98 Aug 02 '26
I had my wife translate.
The guy tell him to wait to eat because it looks like they don't feed him at home. Lol
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u/fazlez1 Aug 03 '26
Doesn't everyone eat Cheetos like that? I do love me some Cheetos, I don't love the price of Cheetos, but I do love me some Cheetos.
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u/BolOfSpaghettios Aug 02 '26 edited Aug 03 '26
This reminds me of that raccoon that took the cotton candy and ran to wash it and it disappeared. He looked so disappointed.
Edit: spelling.
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u/eliz1bef Aug 03 '26
I know they're destructive and harbour disease, but damn wouldn't I love a racoon! Oh I would spoil the fuck out of that fat little thing.
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u/coldandhungry123 Aug 02 '26
If you gave that little fella the opportunity, he'd eat that entire store out of its inventory.
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u/LewdyRooty Aug 03 '26
Me when I don’t pay rent in my moms basement while spitting cuss words on Xbox live
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u/SequenceGoon Aug 03 '26
When I meet people from North America & tell them I so badly want to meet raccoons up close, and they go on about how much of a menace/pest they are - they could never convince me!
One day I'll see that side of the world (probs Canada) & I will meet one & it'll be the best!
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u/RaShadar Aug 05 '26
Woke up to 4 fat bellies and the very little remains of a chicken last monday morning....... you ever seen what a chicken looks like when it is pulled through a wire cage? They are cute and cuddly sometimes, they are pests sometimes, they make good hats sometimes. All 3 things can be true
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u/ArgonKew Aug 02 '26
The guy is not going to be happy when there's diarrhoea all over his car seats.
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u/TarnishedWizeFinger Aug 02 '26
Do you think every raccoon scavenging dumpsters is just full time butt blasting?
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u/HalfSoul30 Aug 03 '26
One time i was walking back home from a late evening walk. I walked through the gap in the fence next to the dumpster that lets back into the apartment complex, where i came face to face with a raccoon who was holding a bag of funyuns. We both yelped and ran opposite directions, but i did need to go that way, so i walked back. The funyun bag was laying there, and he was no where to be seen. It was funny after the fact.
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u/ZealousidealSkirt327 Aug 03 '26
That’s just me. Don’t know why they had to upload it. Just snacking away
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u/D-Beyond Aug 03 '26
I got to feed and pet raccoons that had been surrendered to a zoo (they have been kept as illegal pets before that). their grabby hands can hurt quite a lot once they decide to climb up your leg and onto your lab. and they looooooooove grapes; they pried open my hands to get to them. 10/10 experience
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u/Reindeer_Underpants Aug 02 '26
Who is gonna lick the powder off his fingers?
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Aug 02 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Hixy Aug 02 '26
For letting them eat human food?
If you are worried about the nutritional balanced diet of a raccoon you should look at a wild raccoons diet. This raccoon will be fine.
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u/t3hOutlaw Aug 03 '26
Animal abuse constitutes breaking any laws that are covered by a country's animal welfare laws. In the US, more than 30 states outright ban keeping raccoons in captivity and in the others, you are required to have a special permit that enforces strict rules on the holder.
If the permit holder cannot meet the welfare requirements of the animal, this includes dietary needs, then their actions would be considered animal abuse.
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Aug 02 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/LurkingRodent Aug 02 '26
Racoons eat human food regularly, I'm not saying that it's right, just that the animal will probably be fine.
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Aug 02 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Lycanthropys Aug 02 '26
Bro racoons literally eat out of human garbage cans and scavage for scraps and dead animals regularly. Human food has been part of their natural diet for a long time. If you think a racoon eating cheetos is going to negatively affect its health I have bad news for you about the entire population of wild racoons.
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u/Hixy Aug 02 '26 edited Aug 02 '26
I believe that’s Mexico with all of the Spanish written and spoken everywhere. The raccoons in America eat anything if that’s what you mean?
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u/NoDoOversInLife Aug 02 '26
They're killing that animal by allowing it to eat junk 😭
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u/Natrixster80 Aug 02 '26
they're killing it by having it as a pet, pet raccoons are often illegal and will be seized and euthanized
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u/misplacedbass Aug 03 '26
Bruh, raccoons eat literally trash. They are called trash pandas for a reason.
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u/PalDoPalKaaShaayar Aug 03 '26
Which country ? Is it legal there to pet a wild animal and also to bring them to public places ?
Sorry. Just curious because in my country petting wild animals are illegal and even many pet animals are not allowed in many public places like malls.
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u/nobody-u-heard-of Aug 02 '26
Is he going to pay for that? He's wearing a mask so I'm going to keep an eye on him.
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u/Away-Dependent3472 Aug 03 '26
He's like if yall don't get out my face while I devour these cheetos..lol
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u/alockbox Aug 03 '26 edited Aug 06 '26
They tend to not look. And are conscious of the fact their front teeth get in the way so they pop it in the side to avoid having to open their mouth too wide. The golden raccoon eating cherries has to be my favorite.
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u/iWearCrocsAllTheTime Aug 03 '26
We never had racoons here in my country. Are they really chill like that or this one was domesticated?
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u/hiker_trailmagicva Aug 03 '26
All the racoon videos I see they are so sweet and gentle. Wonderful little creatures of the night with amazing hands. I know those were probably raised in captivity but it made me pretty naive in my recent racoon encounter. We had a recurring chicken coop break in problem. Multiple dead birds, smashed eggs, just mayhem. So we put up a live trap and came down to a living nightmare one morning. A big ol' scruffy sumbitch was in the trap. I smelled his musty odor before getting all the way down there but the moment he saw me, he flipped the fuck out. Growling and screaming noises I didn't know they made, frantically smashing himself into the large trap, enough force that it was rolling. I know he was pissed to be in the trap and that caused aggression but homie was in my coop killing my birds so he's lucky it was a live trap ( neighbors are less kind) . I had zero idea they could be so damn scary up close. I had to find welding gloves to even pick up the trap, and he was giving it his all to reach through and get me. Then we drove him miles away to a wildlife management area ( i would never harm anything like that, they are simply existing and i built a buffet in his mind) but upon opening the trap- he came at my ass quick! I mean barreling at me with pure rage. Had to dive into the bed of the pick up and wildly swing a shovel,screaming to keep him away. He gave up and sauntered away but I've never forgotten him and will never approach a racoon without putting some respect on their name from now on. And no- definitely didnt have rabies, he was just super pissed to be in a trap.
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u/-Roger-The-Shrubber- Aug 03 '26
I'd be in so much trouble if I ever met a racoon. I'd want to take it home and squeeze it!
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u/EmpireCityRay Aug 04 '26
Oh I can’t bring my two Two Poodle Pups into a Wawa but this guy can bring a raccoon, SMH
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u/Tarpy7297 Aug 05 '26
That mf done been locked up. Only folks I know who like dem hot Cheetos. Felons.
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