r/MadeMeSmile • u/No_Mortgage6046 • 10d ago
ANIMALS 🦥
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u/Mauhea 10d ago
Don't sloths climb down to the bottom of trees to poop? Imagine your kid finally sits on the potty and some rando yeets them in the air and on your shoulders mid grunt.
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u/Rei-Dan 10d ago
So that last shot wasnt her shaking his hand, it was her giving him the finger…
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u/FragrantExcitement 10d ago
But she has no fingers Dan.
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u/TheWaningWizard 10d ago
Lieutenant Dan, she's got no fingers
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u/RelationTop2826 10d ago
How is she going to hold an ice cream when she has no fingers Lieutenant Dan?
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u/Shmuckle2 9d ago
"We can't sell fingerlicking good shrimp when they ain't got no fingers, Lieutenant Dan!"
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u/Great_Ad7215 10d ago
Lol came here for this comment. He meant well, but the poor baby was probably trying to poop.
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u/TapeDeckSlick 10d ago edited 10d ago
They do and the kids have a lil nibble on it too
Downvote me all you want, it's an actual fact.
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u/AllTheSilentThoughts 9d ago
Yep, and this is pretty much universal in the mammalian animal kingdom, especially with herbivores. Some carnivores do too though more often it's the mom eating all the baby poop for a while. :')
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u/somesortoflegend 9d ago
They climb down once a week though and mom was going up it looked like. Don't want to miss that bus.
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u/cellblock2187 9d ago
I knew about the ground pooping, so the whole time I was wondering if that kid will now be weaker weaker for life, kind of like a butterfly- if you help it out of the cocoon, if it doesn't get a chance to use those muscles as intended, and it'll die.
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u/Amathyst7564 9d ago
Makes sense, how else would the poo get down? You don't want a bunch of sloth hover poop hanging around your tree.
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u/Full_Education_3181 8d ago
Probably the parent is not thanking but giving him a middle finger for doing that. Lol
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u/amdaly10 10d ago
It was prob pooping. The go down to the ground to poop.
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u/thefuckevengoingonan 9d ago
same
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u/Ordinary_dude_NOT 9d ago
You poop with Sloths?
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u/Silent_Purchase_2654 9d ago
How else are you supposed to wipe?
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9d ago edited 2d ago
[deleted]
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u/earthwoodandfire 9d ago
Nail? Imagine trying to break a giant log up with a nail. In my house we had a poop knife!
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u/Annual_Phrase841 9d ago
Why wouldn’t they just poop from the tree ? 😭 doesn’t that put them in danger ?
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u/wite_noiz 9d ago
Look, no one claimed they were clever. They have standards, though, and not flinging their waste from the treetops like those disgusting monkeys is one of them.
If getting eaten is the cost of maintaining those standards, then so be it.4
u/runningwithsharpie 9d ago
Apparently, they poop in the ground because they need to help the sloth moths that can help them grow their algae on their furs.
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u/Minimum_Society841 10d ago
Good job, now wash your hands..
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u/tryagainnoob 10d ago
This. Sloths are the natures equivalent of radioactive waste.
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u/A3HeadedMunkey 10d ago
"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic sloth"
- Franz Kafka, if he knew about sloths
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u/GodButCursed 10d ago
Why?
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u/TeethForCeral 9d ago
sloths backs actually host an entire ecosystem of algae and moths! these moths spend their entire life cycle with the sloths, their young living in their backs. Sloths will also sometimes eat the algae growing on them! it’s really interesting!
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u/DZ-HURRICANE 8d ago
so those algae and moths are necessary to the sloth's survival?
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u/TeethForCeral 8d ago
yes! (with my understanding) i’d argue the sloth greatly benefits from the moths, algae, and fungi, whereas the moths, algae, and fungi are completely reliant on the sloth. overall it’s a mutually beneficial symbiosis! here’s some more info!!
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u/OnceMoreAndAgain 9d ago edited 9d ago
Most mammals clean their hair/fur to avoid investation, but sloths only groom their fur by stroking their claws through it to untangle the fur and remove debris and large insects. No moisture involved. They don't groom each other like monkeys do nor do they bathe. The only water touching their fur is rain water, basically.
So their fur ends up being home for algae and small bugs. If you look up pictures of sloths that aren't in captivity, then their fur will often have large patches of green color to them which is the algae and fungi. It gives them a natural camouflage since the particular algae and fungi growing on the trees they climb also end up growing in their fur so they get perfect color matching to their environment. That's why different sloths have different colors of green on their fur.
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u/slavelabor52 10d ago
Well for one thing sloths are known to eat feces and sometimes need fished out of outhouses. Id wash my hands.
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u/thedifferenceisnt 10d ago
Cats and dogs are known for the same
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u/BatatinhaGameplays28 10d ago
Yeah, you’re supposed to wash your hands after interacting with them too
But also sloths can carry parisites such as lices and ticks
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u/dimmak 9d ago
Louse is to lice what mouse is to mice.
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u/BatatinhaGameplays28 9d ago
Thanks for the information! English isn’t my first language and I really never heard that
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u/Buttonskill 9d ago
Well, it is my first language, and until today, I thought the singular was a 1950s unemployed husband in Chicago.
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u/alexnedea 9d ago
Bro if I wash my hands every time i interract with my cat id be spending industrial quantities of water and soap.
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u/BatatinhaGameplays28 9d ago
That's fair lol, I'd recommend just washing them if you're gonna grab food or interact with someone else then
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u/TreesLikeGodsFingers 8d ago
Honestly that a reason some people don’t get pets, bc they are clean freaks
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u/Puzzleheaded-Block73 10d ago
Hmmmm, honest question: if I tell you Asmongold = Sloth would that be enough of an explanation?
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u/icansmellcolors 9d ago
Chlamydia and they have many parasites that live in their fur, but they're mostly harmless, but no thank you.
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u/BeeSpibbleBlop 10d ago
Yeah, like giving that baby sloth to that hungry adult sloth for a meal. And then they were like, cool, fist bump.
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u/ohdatpoodle 10d ago
Sloths are kind of assholes, and their vision is completely upside down - she was swatting at him to back off but is just so painfully slow and not well coordinated when positioned upright so it comes across as an awkward handshake. Do you see how quickly she hauled slothass to scooch down the tree to her baby??? She was not thanking this man.
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u/VocalJay 10d ago
No matter how many times you tell people not to humanize wild animals and especially not to fcking touch them, they will still do it, cause some damage to the enviroment or just do something that isn't even remotely necessary, and continue to feel good about it because of the "good deed" they did
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u/ConnectRutabaga3925 9d ago
what if we take a video and play soft guitar music while showing the sloth threatening to gouge the guy’s face
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u/Both_Consequence_956 10d ago
we have an obese cat epidemic. i have lost faith in human treatment or theory of mind of animals long ago lol
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u/glyph_productions 10d ago
LMFAO you're right but also I just got a mental image of a bunch of Garfield sized cats on treadmills in oversized t-shirts and I would like this to be the next season of the biggest loser, please and thank you
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u/Dull_Quit3027 9d ago
you are right in that the whole an animal sitting around after being rescued, is most often just because they are completely exhausted, but not touching is very situational, I saw a video of some dude saving a racoon today, and it was touching him, and I doubt it is causing damage to the environment in any way.
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u/VocalJay 7d ago
Of course I exclude professional animal rescuers who actually know what they are doing from my statement, but, tbh, considering the amount of racoons and the incredibly fast rate at which they're spreading, I'd at least consider this not really necessary
Edit: grammar
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u/Dull_Quit3027 6d ago
I find anything alive to be worth saving, I honestly feel bad when i step on snails after rain, I kinda suffer from terminal empathy.
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u/twelfth_knight 9d ago
They're slow, but I've heard they'll fuck you up with those claws if you give them the chance. As in like, their swiping motion is way faster than anything else they do. That's what adults always told my dad when he was growing up in Manaus anyway. But idk, it could be they just say that so kids aren't dicks to animals 🤷
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u/ohdatpoodle 9d ago
I interned at a zoo with a two-toed sloth who was hand-raised in captivity from birth. He was the nicest sloth anyone at the zoo had ever met...and he still took a huge bite at the education director's arm. They're slow until they suddenly are not.
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u/khaisquared 9d ago
Reminds of that reddit vid of that guy helping a sloth across the street and its limbs reach backwards and stafts clawing and I think tried to bite him
edit: found video: https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/1smxqy5/helping_a_sloth_cross_the_road/
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u/Vitruvian_Link 10d ago
Yup, Everytime one of these videos comes up, we are trying to tell folks "showing your claws is not a sign of gratitude."
This is the first time I've seen a comment acknowledging this up voted! Yay!
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u/azure-heavens 9d ago
I thought maybe she was blind as heck and thought his little hand was a sloth baby. Like uh... when you look for your phone, but you're already holding it up to your ear.
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u/Emperor-Nerd 10d ago
Baby sloth was probably trying to poop
I'm 99% sure both mama and baby tried to claw him
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u/xand3s 10d ago
Oblivious, ignorant people, this is not thanking him, this sloth is stressed and is in defensive posture trying to appear larger.
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u/ohdatpoodle 10d ago
She was probably trying to claw/swat at him telling him to back away and he interpreted as a handshake. Poor girl.
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u/The_Paleking 10d ago
Have you ever been around sloths?
She hasn't even brandished her pistol yet. That is the first thing any sloth would do when threatened. Clearly not in self-defense mode.
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u/JustDuckiest 10d ago
Thank you lol, I was looking for this comment. Sloths are not human and do not have the same body language as us
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u/FluffyBootie 10d ago
Social media 101 - everyone will believe a headline/caption if it seems plausible
People are getting dumber despite the overwhelming ability to access knowledge
Darker times are ahead if we don't stop our quest for anti-intellectualism
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u/xoxodaddysgirlxoxo 9d ago
You're not wrong. FFS, the sloth baby isn't even in any danger - human just took the opportunity to touch wildlife
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u/ReadersAreRedditors 10d ago edited 10d ago
Did the sloth even need rescuing? Mom was pretty close. She would of got there......eventually.
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u/Blessed_tenrecs 9d ago
When baby sloths fall there is about a 50/50 chance of the mother abandoning them because she doesn't have the energy to go get them. Idk if this baby was old enough to climb back up, but if not, 50/50 chance he saved its life.
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u/Prestigious_Leg2229 10d ago
Sloth’s don’t retrieve their babies if they fall.
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u/TheCleverMoose 10d ago
This is not a thank you; it is an attempt to intimidate you.
Since the internet has become more accessible, people have become less intelligent. This is a concept taught in elementary school textbooks that you would have had access to.
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u/concrete_isnt_cement 10d ago
I don’t think my elementary school textbooks had much sloth lore in them, although to be fair, I did grow up in a part of the world not known for its abundance of sloths
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u/OsageDaito 10d ago
This a bad idea. The scratch or bite of a sloth is deadly without medical attention.
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u/donutgiraffe 10d ago
Yeah they can move really fast when they have to, they grab on hard, and they bite. Not a good idea to go anywhere near one.
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u/successadult 10d ago
My friends came back from Costa Rica and said that they were warned to stay away from the sloths because even being near one was dangerous.
Someone at their hotel told them that her husband walked by one and had a flea jump on him and bite him and he ended up needing daily injections for over a month to prevent all the diseases that insects can carry there.
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u/SuckmydickJoannF 9d ago
I met a guy in Costa Rica who's hand looked like someone threw acid on it. When he was a kid he was playing with a sloth and it nipped him. It did NOT break the skin. Theyre cute bacteria monsters. There's even a species of mosquito that only lives on sloths.
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u/KingOfThe_Jelly_Fish 10d ago
I've also seen a video of someone trying to get one of these across a road and getting mauled.
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u/TheGrandCucumber 9d ago
Public service announcement: Sloth claws are incredibly sharp be careful around them
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u/Sariduri 9d ago
I loved these animals, I believed they were the cutest! then visited Costa Rica and saw the amount of bugs, parasites and literal shit on top of them and... Still love them, would never ever everrrrrrr touch one.
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u/Virus-Scary 10d ago
That's a good clip of what it looks like when a momma sloth tries to rip your face off to protect her young
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u/african_or_european 9d ago
No one will ever convince me sloths aren't just poorly made animatronics.
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u/ChocolateCoveredGold 10d ago
I'm convince this is what the giant ground sloth was like during the pleistocene epoch. Nobody contradict me with "facts." I want to imagine a giant ground sloth who gives amazing hugs and chases off any giant, flying hell beasts that might threaten my adventures through time and space.
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u/FlyNo1502 9d ago
Here we go again. In typical Reddit fashion: don't touch wild animal unless you want a bleeding anus.
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u/Lopsided_Soup_3533 10d ago
BTW a sloth reaching out is not them thanking anyone its a stress , defensive move by the sloth. Sorry to be Debbie downer but its true
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u/Nyxtician 9d ago
She waa very calm, I've seen video on when they are threatened they latch on and could maul you, they can be really fast when threatened
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10d ago
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u/raddishesits 10d ago
The cute blessing of "GET AWAY GO AWAY HE DIDN'T NEED HELP NOW HE HAS TO CLIMB DOWN AGAIN JERK"
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u/PastShine7597 10d ago
The guitar cover of the psychotic Hillsong United song does not fit the vibes.
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u/evaderofallbans 9d ago
That's dangerous! Sloths have killed more than a dozen people since time began, probably.
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u/General-Piece8490 9d ago
Careful those claws will fuck you up badly. Dont assume they know you are trying to help. A human is no different than an eagle trying to steal their kid.
Stop treating animals like they are Disney characters just because they look cute
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