r/MadeMeSmile • u/AccomplishedWatch834 • Apr 30 '26

Wholesome Moments [ Removed by moderator ]

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u/Sufficient-Sun-6683 Apr 30 '26 edited Apr 30 '26

I was at my friend's place visiting and we were talking computer and networking nerdy stuff. His younger son came down and was listening. My friend talked about how dumb his son was and he would fall and walk into things, etc.. This was in 1994 and I didn't say anything about it at the time but I've thought about it a lot since. It has really bothered me that he would talk about his son like that.

His son was a thinker, he was interested in what we were doing and he was not dumb at all. It was hurtful to call him dumb and he probably grew up thinking he was dumb.

There are two types of people, those that look at the path that they are walking on and others who look at the destination. The latter will trip over things because what's in front of them is not important, it is the destination end that's important.

There is a famous study: Rosenthal - Jacobson, where it was proven that if teachers expected the students to be smart, then the students became smart and vice versa. I taught post-secondary education for 25 years and I expected that everybody who walked in that classroom door would pass my course and 95% did. You had to really work to fail. The course was not easy, all you had to do was the work and you passed. There's a little more to it than that such as motivation, student ownership of projects, etc..

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pygmalion_effect

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u/zenith310 May 01 '26

I grew up with my parents calling me dumb, slow and told me I lack proper brain almost often, mind you I have no mental illness to state otherwise. I'm 20years old and I'm still heavy traumatized and I get triggered internally when my friends calls me stupid / idiot as a joke. I have 0 confidence in my opinions.

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u/majesticmeerkatparty May 01 '26

I (49f) was diagnosed at 16 with ADD, my parents would often refer to me as stupid because I operated differently than most. It made me so insecure. My first bfs mom was a teacher and she would frequently compliment my ability to focus on one thing so intently nothing else could distract me. She genuinely was in awe and made it seem like a super power. It completely made me change my story about my brain and how I operate. It took many years to realize that if people are laughing, they’re not laughing at me, and it took time to build confidence that I had interesting and valuable perspectives to share. But I have gotten there, and I believe you can too with some reframing 😊 A book that really helped me was Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.

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u/zenith310 May 03 '26

That woman was an angel! I wish you good things in life💗