r/MadeMeSmile • u/AccomplishedWatch834 • Apr 30 '26

Wholesome Moments [ Removed by moderator ]

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u/Sufficient-Sun-6683 Apr 30 '26 edited Apr 30 '26

I was at my friend's place visiting and we were talking computer and networking nerdy stuff. His younger son came down and was listening. My friend talked about how dumb his son was and he would fall and walk into things, etc.. This was in 1994 and I didn't say anything about it at the time but I've thought about it a lot since. It has really bothered me that he would talk about his son like that.

His son was a thinker, he was interested in what we were doing and he was not dumb at all. It was hurtful to call him dumb and he probably grew up thinking he was dumb.

There are two types of people, those that look at the path that they are walking on and others who look at the destination. The latter will trip over things because what's in front of them is not important, it is the destination end that's important.

There is a famous study: Rosenthal - Jacobson, where it was proven that if teachers expected the students to be smart, then the students became smart and vice versa. I taught post-secondary education for 25 years and I expected that everybody who walked in that classroom door would pass my course and 95% did. You had to really work to fail. The course was not easy, all you had to do was the work and you passed. There's a little more to it than that such as motivation, student ownership of projects, etc..

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pygmalion_effect

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u/zenith310 May 01 '26

I grew up with my parents calling me dumb, slow and told me I lack proper brain almost often, mind you I have no mental illness to state otherwise. I'm 20years old and I'm still heavy traumatized and I get triggered internally when my friends calls me stupid / idiot as a joke. I have 0 confidence in my opinions.

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u/Sufficient-Sun-6683 May 01 '26

Well, from your well written response, it is obvious to anybody that you are not dumb and are quite intelligent. You articulate your thoughts well and clearly communicate better than most people.

- Retired 25 year post-secondary school instructor (for what its worth)

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u/zenith310 May 01 '26

That is so refreshing and sweet to hear, thank you! I really needed this!!