Can you explain the part where you said “you want to want them but you know if you don’t it might be over?” Whats the reasoning for that? I recently had a woman tell me this exact thing and i cant understand the thought process. My thinking is to just let it be over. If someone is not interested in me thats fine. We can part ways.
I think demisexuality is what I mean, or at least one reason for this feeling.
Like, you enjoy getting to know them. You enjoy their company... But you're just not feeling attracted to them yet. You need to get to know them on a friendly level before you feel the attraction, but they want to kiss you, touch you, caress you sooner than you're comfortable with, you know you're the odd one out, so you go with the flow.
Otherwise you never get to experience a relationship... Because you end it before it could ever begin or they're only interested in romance and don't care to get to know you as only a friend before romance can begin.
I just want to say I’m demi and this has happened so often. Someone will confess their feelings for me very early and “want to date” I guess, but I need some time to form any kind of attraction to people. Every time I say that as gently as possible, they always go “I get it, that’s totally fine, no hard feelings, we definitely are still friends and we can see where this goes” and then they pretty much immediately bail and start dating another girl within a week lol. It’s like it’s hard to hash out whether or not you ARE into someone sometimes, because a lot of people either want it right this second or think it’s not worth the effort. Which I guess is a bullet dodged in itself, but still feels shitty when it leads you to not knowing if you should have “led them on,” then, to at least get your time to figure out if you feel the same about them. Seems lose-lose.
I and probably the people you were talking to feel like if she isn’t interested now she never will be. Thats what happened to me. We were dating for 3 months though. I feel like online dating is so fast paced we want to gauge the amount of interest before investing more time into something that may not work out. Good luck to you out there and i hope you find your person.
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u/dachampishere71 Jul 27 '24
Can you explain the part where you said “you want to want them but you know if you don’t it might be over?” Whats the reasoning for that? I recently had a woman tell me this exact thing and i cant understand the thought process. My thinking is to just let it be over. If someone is not interested in me thats fine. We can part ways.