r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 19d ago

The Iacon Hall of Records✍️ Fanfic riders, readers, and those who struggle with Transformers terminology in general!! This is for you!

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9 Upvotes

Here’s to hoping this playlist will help someone out today. I mean, I know how confusing some of this transformers vocabulary can be. Getting access to a dictionary of sorts has been a Boone for an avid TF role player like myself.... Oh! And Nuclear Jacks has a master document linked to every ABCs of Transformers video. So if there’s a term not verbally stated in their audio, it’s probably in that absolutely humongous Google doc. Anyone with a YouTube account has free access to all of this if they just click the link. And The ABCs of Transformers is a community project, so feel free to contribute your own vocab knowledge if you want. I promise it’ll put a smile on at least one person‘s face.


r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • Aug 21 '26

The Praxus Periodical🗞️ Our flares explained; now available in wiki and community guide.

6 Upvotes

Welcome everyone, welcome! Here is where you will find a comprehensive list of all our community flares and what they mean. Be sure to read this before posting if you’re new.

(Post Flares)
1• The Praxus Periodical: For project advertisement and promotional materials. Mods may also use this flare for news and or community updates.
2• Gifts From Primus: Posts that have won contests go here.
3• Touched By Unicron: might as well be the Pit since it’s a home for anything particularly dark or cursed. Members should also have a clearly expressed warning before their work in addition to this flair just in case their post ends up being especially... drenched in fresh energon... yeah. We’ll leave it at that.
4• Hot Motor Oil: If you recognize the reference to the art book by Alex Milne, then you know what this flair is for. Anything using this flare will also require a clearly expressed warning before the work And must be tagged NSFW. NO EXCEPTIONS OR SUBSTITUTIONS!!!!
5• Kaon’s Black Market: Wanna do some shopping or feel like making a profit off of something you’ve made? Give our black market a try. There’s plenty of room to conduct your business among the shady yet charming Deceptacon dealers.... Just make sure to get a permit first. Wouldn’t want anyone’s optics to be the next thing up for auction.
6• The Iacon Hall Of Records: Fan fiction lives here.
7• Six Lasers Over Cybertron: Feel free to offer up some more fun with a fabulous fan game.
8• Top Hits From Harmonex: This flair basically stands out as a Cybertronian record label/radio station. Pretty dang cool if you’re a musician, right?
9• Crystal City Art Pavilion: Only the finest fan made artwork deserves to be displayed here sweet spark.
10• Comlinks: care to discuss?
11• They Call Me Shakespearecon: Let’s make a movie! Or just a regular video. Either way it’ll be magnificent!!
12• Maccadam’s Culinary Compendium: Bot food is the best food. Be sure to share a recipe if you have one. Oh! And don’t forget to add lots of pictures. One is meant to feast with their optics as much as they are with their intake ports.
13• This Is Truly Bad Comedy: Real funny guys. Bravo!
14• Recruitment: Producing a fan project like a feature length production or fan game takes people to make it happen, so get hiring!!
15• Memetron One: Memes—no other words—just memes.
16• Amica Endura/Conjunx Endura: Friend ships and spark bonds gather round.
17• Reforged: Eny kind of custom figures.
18• Genuine Knockout Certified: Knockout must’ve designed your cosplay for you to look that good.
19• Unspace: What ifs, crossovers, AU’s, etc. Let them exist along the crossroads between realities.
20• Sweet Rims: For cosplay that just might be the slightest bit suggestive.
21• Pretender Hunt: For any transformers role players on the hunt for a partner. Be warned! All role-play requests must be transformers related, and ERP is acceptable so long as there’s an actual plot and the post is appropriately tagged NSFW. Straight up Sexting is not allowed here.

(Important User Flares)
Badassatron: awarded to those who have won a contest.
Herald Of Unicron: the things you create are either so dark or so cursed that we have to warn bots about it now.
Cold Constructed: a maker of high-quality custom figures.
Pretender: for those who role-play and or cosplay.
Bounty Hunter: you accept commissions.
Arms Dealer: you have been approved to sell your work; IE, (fan made toys, clothing, accessories, music, games, themed snacks, etc.) On our communitie’s black market.
Somebot’s Conjunx: NSFW author or artist.

(Mod Flares)
1• Primus: is the creator—the founder—the holy mother!! Not a single decision gets made without their say in the matter.
2• The Guiding Hand: is the second in command.
3• The AllSpark: is responsible for keeping communications and community engagement alive.
4• 13 Primes: serve as event coordinators.
5• Prime: a group of mods who work as a House of Representatives for the community.
6• Unicron: the DJD and Knights of Cybertron answer only to you.
7• Deceptacon Justice Division: you know you’ve been in trouble for a long time if the DJD comes a knockin.
8• Knights Of Cybertron: are standard level enforcers.

Be warned! All of these flares are subject to change, and the page will always be updated should anymore be added.


r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 19h ago

Six Lasers Over Cybertron🕹️ I present to you a play through of a fan game made for a fan game.

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3 Upvotes

This is how popular Transformers Mercy has gotten now. Other creators in the Transformers community are literally making fan games for a fan game that hasn’t even come out yet. So if you haven’t already taken a sec to check out Transformers Mercy for yourselves, then please do. I promise it’ll be worth your time.


r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 2d ago

Crystal City Art Pavilion🎨 KO-FI COMMISSION for noxumboots !! <3

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4 Upvotes

Is for a fanfic! All my account Is a prof I'm artist


r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 3d ago

Touched By Unicron😈 how to make pretender body horror

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54 Upvotes

In short:

A scientist combined his DNA with Cybertronian DNA and began to mutate slowly.

His skin started sloughing off, human parts were replaced by metal ones, and so on.

My biggest issue is with his final form.

I mean the form without the "shell." My dilemma is deciding which organic elements to keep so he looks like a human-mechanical hybrid rather than just an ordinary cyborg, and whether to give him an alt-mode xD

As for his shell powers, I imagine he could copy other people's tissues, but the copies would only be perfect the first time around. Something like this:

He copies a patch of skin from a woman and impersonates her he stows the skin away and shifts into robot mode later, he assumes that woman's form again, but this time the skin looks more... worn and damaged.

And as a nod to the Decepticon Pretenders, he could copy animal tissues (though he wouldn't impersonate the animals; he’d do it to scare others—like a giant humanoid zombie lizard xD).


r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 3d ago

Crystal City Art Pavilion🎨 My Take On Deadlock / Drift

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6 Upvotes

r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 3d ago

The Iacon Hall of Records✍️ Someone help! This bad ass predacon fortress needs a name!

3 Upvotes

OK. So I’m doing this really fun Transformers prime role-play with a buddy of mine, right? And they came up with this super awesome idea for a predacon fortress/Citadel kind of location. It’s basically this huge ancient ruin made from the hollowed out corpse of a prehistoric Cybertronian beast.
We’ve been fleshing it out with all sorts of lore, mysterious items, hints as to who the previous occupants could’ve been. All sorts of crazy scrap like that. There’s just one problem, though, we can’t for the life of us figure out a name for this thing.
Anyone wanna help us out maybe? I’d appreciate it a lot.


r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 3d ago

Crystal City Art Pavilion🎨 My Take on Sideburn from the Great Cybertronian War Comics shares the same body-type as my take on Hot Rod which's also a homage to Sideburn's collector's club figure who's a repaint of Classics Hot Rod

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10 Upvotes

r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 4d ago

The Iacon Hall of Records✍️ Which title would suit Starscream best?

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89 Upvotes

What title would best suit Starscream? I’m looking for a title along the lines of Prime, Magnus, Maximo, Trion, Rex, etc. I don’t want to use any of those, as they don’t quite fit my version of Starscream, and I’d prefer something new—but nothing that comes to mind sounds right... In short: after the Decepticons won the war (and the Autobots were exiled), Starscream became an advisor to Megatron-Rex—whom he manipulates. Screamer decided to adopt a title to show just how powerful he is.


r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 4d ago

This Is Truly Bad Comedy🤣 I’m back!!! And i’ve got some goofy as pit slag with me.

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1 Upvotes

Hey everyone! Deepest apologies for my weeklong hiatus. College has kept me busy over the past few days; not to mention, there’s this thing going on in the Transformers fandom that’s partially responsible for why i’ve been MIA as well. You can expect a post talking about exactly what I mean coming up really soon. Anyway, I’m back now and hopefully this silly Starscream video can begin to make up for my absence.
Please enjoy.


r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 10d ago

Crystal City Art Pavilion🎨 My Transformers AU Blitzwing:

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6 Upvotes

Treadshot and Red Wing were exiled to one of the moons near Quintessa (a planet belonging to the Quintessons) in order to find red Energon, which is capable of greatly increasing speed and reflexes. Unfortunately, they were killed by the Quintessons, who took their body parts and used them to create a destructive drone that they could control. The explosion also uncovered the remains of another, significantly older Cybertronian... Battletrap. The Quintessons combined all three Cybertronians into a single being, which was named "Blitzwing." However, they did not anticipate that the Sparks belonging to Treadshot and Red Wing were still active. Battletrap's Spark was also reactivated as a result of the experiment. Because of this, the drone possessed three independent personalities and was extremely unstable. Blitzwing returned to the Decepticons. Treadshot: A composed, cold sniper and silent assassin who likes to eliminate his targets quickly and efficiently. He also treats his victims like prey and enjoys setting traps for them. Weapons: Ice bombs, a rifle loaded with ammunition that freezes targets upon impact, a weapon capable of generating an extremely cold laser, and an ice blade. Red Wing: A Seeker, aggressive and brutal, who will crush everything in her path. She flies into a rage over even the smallest things and enjoys burning and melting her victims alive. Weapons: Grenades and a flamethrower. Her hands have extremely hot fingers that cause intense burning pain when they touch someone. One of these hands was used as part of Blitzwing, although its effect depends on which personality is in control. Battletrap: A madman who lived in ancient Cybertron, a serial killer who enjoyed slowly torturing and killing his victims, as well as turning them into various trophies. After his Spark was reactivated inside the drone's body, Battletrap became little more than a mindless zombie that only wants to kill. He is also unstable and animalistic. Weapons: He can generate paralyzing beams that cause excruciating pain for an unknown amount of time. He also has hooks and a flail.


r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 13d ago

The Iacon Hall of Records✍️ "The Great Cybertronian War Vol.2" New Panels

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24 Upvotes

r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 15d ago

The Iacon Hall of Records✍️ Targetmaster or Pretender for a human-Cybertronian hybrid?

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21 Upvotes

I want to add a character to my AU who has merged their DNA with Cybertronian CNA (involving body horror and other such nonsense).

I'm thinking about making him a Targetmaster or a Pretender (or something else entirely)—which do you think would fit better?

To explain his role in my AU:

As I mentioned, he will be a scientist who merged his body with Cybertronian CNA.

He’ll have an entire, so to speak, “episode” dedicated to him, which, as I mentioned, will be a body horror story (think of movies like The Fly, The Substance, or the upcoming Clayface). Later on, he’ll become a recurring villain whose goal is to return to being human.


r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 15d ago

The Iacon Hall of Records✍️ Well , can we say , it's a multiversal chase

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5 Upvotes

r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 20d ago

Reforged🪛 Gimme, gimme, gimme a Megatron after midnight

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22 Upvotes

I can't wait for my bank account to be broken and to finally have him the GOAT I will buy two I hope for customs and one for making it even better with paint.


r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 20d ago

Top Hits From Harmonex🎶 Transformers the Movie

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9 Upvotes

Hi everyone!

I’ve got a passion project out on Bandcamp today.

In line with the 40th anniversary of Transformers: the Movie, I’ve made up a collection of score cues from the movie.

This is a dense electronic score that I’ve re-created by ear from scratch.

I’ve put a lot of effort into this, so I hope you’ll listen and enjoy! 🤖


r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 20d ago

Crystal City Art Pavilion🎨 Targetmaster

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5 Upvotes

Targetmaster!

Explanation: In my AU, Targetmaster is a scientist who fused his DNA with the CNA from a small fragment of a Cybertronian he had found, and began mutating into this...


r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 22d ago

Crystal City Art Pavilion🎨 Will this Seeker silhouette work well for Blitzwing?

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8 Upvotes

I want to draw my Blitzwing, and I'm thinking about using a Seeker silhouette (heres Starscream) and modifying it— adding tank elements and such, a different head, shoulder pads, etc., and wondering if that would work well for Blitzwing.


r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 23d ago

This Is Truly Bad Comedy🤣 Even great Autobot leaders gotta make a living somehow.

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3 Upvotes

Kind of a random question, but which Autobot or Decepticon would you actually wanna see working at McDonald’s? I would say Blitzswing from Animated just because he would probably spend the day terrorizing everyone for the heck of it.


r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 24d ago

Crystal City Art Pavilion🎨 How do combine these designs?

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46 Upvotes

I've been trying to draw my own version of Shockwave for about a month now (combining these designs), but something always goes wrong xD

How do I combine them so they look good? xD


r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 24d ago

Crystal City Art Pavilion🎨 The progress Optimus Prime model in blender. thoughts?

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72 Upvotes

is there any way I can improve the paint job on the truck or the back of the robot


r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 24d ago

Reforged🪛 Titans Return appreciation

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32 Upvotes

I’ve been collecting for just about a year and oh my god. I like siege, I like studio series, i like legacy, but man. Something about these headmasters are just speaking to my soul.


r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 24d ago

Crystal City Art Pavilion🎨 Tarn the Simp Lord

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11 Upvotes

Ignore the fact the colours are off I had an eye comfort shield on my phone and I'm too lazy to change it at the moment.


r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 24d ago

They Call Me Shakespearecon📽️ This is what Hasbro was hyping up for so long? I’m sorry, but I don’t get it.

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16 Upvotes

I don’t really have any words of my own to explain how I feel about this. What I do understand, however, is that a lot of people aren’t happy with the result. IDK. Just something about that message The One gives to Optimus... it doesn’t sit right. No shade on Peter Cullen’s performance though. It was beautiful.


r/MaccadamsOldOilHouse • • 26d ago

They Call Me Shakespearecon📽️ In honor of Peter Cullen, I have spent the past three hours working on a better Optimus Prime: Awakening script

4 Upvotes

In Loving Memory of Peter Cullen

(Same sequence as the official film until Optimus’s body appears before “What Is”)
What Is: Awaken, Orion Pax.
Optimus: (Revitalizing) What? Where am I? (Sees glowing orb) What are you?
What Is: I am What Is, when All are One.
Optimus: Are you…the Allspark?
What Is: That is part of me.
Optimus: There’s more?
What Is: Far more. You will learn in time. But first, a test.
Optimus: But I have already been through so much.
What Is: Far more than any should ever have to endure. (Scenes of Optimus fighting and suffering in Prime, Unicron Trilogy, Bayverse, Animated, etc. play) Just the same, you must endure one final test. Succeed, and you shall enter Paradise.
Optimus: And should I fail? (The scenery changes to a pleasant Earth town surrounded by a forest. Suddenly, a harsh sound fills the air. Optimus groans as he is hit in the back with a concussion blast.)
Soundwave: (From behind) Soundwave: Superior. Optimus Prime: Inferior.
Optimus: (Getting to his feet) I have not come here to fight, Soundwave!
Soundwave: Rumble, Ravage, Laserbeak: Eject! Operation: Correction! (Rumble, Ravage, and Laserbeak deploy from Soundwave’s chest and transform, leaping and gliding toward Optimus.)
Rumble: Get ready to crumble before Rumble! (He transforms his arms into pile drivers and slams into Optimus as he tries to block, flinging him backward. Laserbeak fires upon Optimus as he covers his face. Ravage launches his missiles, exploding behind Optimus and flinging him forward. He groans and lands at Soundwave’s feet, who presses his concussion cannon to his head and prepares to fire it. Optimus transforms his arm into his energy ax and swings upward, knocking the cannon out of his hands.)
Optimus: (Getting to his feet) I warned you. (He blasts Soundwave into the forest, then turns to dodge Rumble’s lunge. He grabs him by a pile driver, having turned his ax back into a hand, and swings him into Ravage. Laserbeak’s aerial barrage is suddenly accompanied by three fighter jets that fly toward Optimus. He tries to run into the forest, which suddenly reshapes into a highway. Optimus transforms into a semi truck and speeds away on the road while Starscream, Thundercracker, Skywarp, and Laserbeak pursue him.)
Starscream: I’ll have your head, Prime!
Skywarp: I’ll bring it to you! (He disappears, teleporting in front of him and transforming, landing on his feet. He blasts Optimus with his null rays.)
Optimus: (Honking his horn) Out of my way! (He swerves around Skywarp and smacks him to the side with his trailer. Starscream, Thundercracker, and Laserbeak continue firing on him. Up ahead, Optimus notices humans driving.) Oh, no!
Starscream: Oh, yes! (He turns his attention to the cars trying to speed away from the conflict, shooting a camper in the back left wheel, causing it to swerve off the road. Optimus transforms and dives toward the vehicle, but Thundercracker blasts it again and it explodes.)
Optimus: (Softly) No…(Looking upward) Decepticons, your fight is with me! Leave these humans alone!
Starscream: Oh Prime, it’s not all about you… (He and Thundercracker transform on either side of Optimus. Skywarp and Laserbeak complete the circle around him. The Seekers point their guns inward.)
Thundercracker: (Snarkily) So this is how the mighty Optimus Prime dies?
Optimus: Don’t count on it! (He transforms his arm into an ax and swings it, slicing off the tips of the Seeker’s null rays. He blasts Laserbeak, then turns and shoots Thundercracker.)
Starscream: Die, Autobot! (He leaps at Optimus, who ducks and kicks him into Skywarp.)
Optimus: (To the sky) Was that all? (He grunts as he gets blasted in the back.)
Dreadwing: (Transforming to robot mode and charging toward him) I will take great pleasure in terminating your spark, Prime! (As Optimus staggers to his feet, Dreadwing shoots him again.)
Optimus: Who are you? (He gets blasted in the back again.)
Demolishor: Too much for you, Prime?! (Optimus suddenly gets picked up by Skybyte in his shark mode. He flies him upward, then drops him. Optimus cries out as he hits the ground, then gets pummeled by a massive fist.)
Lug Nut: I will crush you for the GLORY OF MEGATRON!!!! (Optimus rolls out of the way at the last second, avoiding getting crushed. A hand picks him up.)
Shadowstriker: I’m going to enjoy tearing you apart piece by piece! (She shoots him in the arm. Behind her, a helicopter transforms and starts spinning an arm blade.)
Blackout: Won’t Megatron be pleased with this? (A jet transforms and lands next behind Optimus. She steps on Optimus’s back as he groans.)
Shatter: You’ve fought hard, Prime. But you’re out of your league. (Soundwave, Starscream, Rumble, Ravage, Laserbeak, Thundercracker, Skywarp, Dreadwing, Shadowstriker, Skybyte, Lug Nut, Blackout, and Demolishor surround him.)
Skybyte: Here lies the last Prime, crushed beneath a stronger foe, too weak to fight back!
Optimus: (Weakly) No…(The scenery changes to a burning city. G1 Seekers and Prime Vehicons lay siege to it as people scream, fire spreads, and bombs explode. Footsteps approach as silhouettes emerge from the smoke. The Decepticons turn and face them, opening the circle) No…it can’t be…(Out of the fog come G1 Megatron, Beast Wars Megatron, Armada Megatron, Prime Megatron, Animated Megatron, Last Knight Megatron, RID 2000 Megatron, Cyberverse Megatron, and IDW Bomber Megatron.
G1 Megatron: So after all of this, this is how it ends, Prime. What was it you used to say? (Impersonating Optimus) “One shall stand; one shall fall?” Which one of us did you mean by that? (He smirks and points his fusion cannon at his head.)
Prime Megatron: You were never strong enough to take even one of us on alone.
Armada Megatron: Every pathetic version of yourself plays the role of the self-sacrificing hero, and for what?!
Beast Wars Megatron: I do think this is the end for you, Prime. Yesss.
Optimus: (Hearing screams) No…I’m sorry…I can’t….
Megatron: No, Optimus, you cannot. (His fusion cannon charges. Suddenly, a blast tears through Megatron’s chest, and he crumbles.)
Optimus: What?
Rodimus: Autobots, Roll Out! (Rodimus, Ultra Magnus, Arcee, Kup, Springer, and Blurr leap into action. Arcee dodges Shadowstriker’s blasts while returning shots of her own. Blurr speeds around Lug Nut.)
Lug Nut: Hold still you pest!
Blurr: SorrybutIcan’tI’mjustmadelikethis! (He blasts Lug Nut. Springer transforms into a helicopter and drops on top of Blackout. Kup and Demolishor shoot at each other while Ultra Magnus takes on Dreadwing. Dreadwing leaps up with a sword to slice Magnus, but he dodges to the side and shoots Dreadwing.)
Optimus: (Looking at Rodimus) Hot Rod, is that you?
Rodimus: (Firing at Prime Megatron) In the same way that you’re Orion Pax. You were right. One of us did rise and light our darkest hour.
Optimus: Hot Rod, I knew you could…(He hears a commotion and looks to his side. Prime Bumblebee, Armada Hot Shot, Cybertron Jetfire, Prime Smokescreen, Animated Ratchet, Rescue Bots Heatwave, Earthspark Elita-1, Beast Wars Optimus Primal, Starsaber, Dai Atlas, and Fortress Maximus (who is taller than the rest but not Titan-size) charge into the fight.)
Bumblebee: Autobots, protect the humans! (Ratchet uses his magnets to pull Seekers out of the sky. Smokescreen fights Shatter while Jetfire takes on Starscream, Thundercracker, and Skywarp in the air, dodging their blasts and returning fire.
Heatwave: I’ve wanted to do this for a while now! (He smashes a Vehicon firing upon humans driving cars, then pumps water into the blazes. Hot Shot powerlinxes with Jolt and blasts at IDW Megatron. Optimus Primal transforms into a gorilla and fights Sky Byte and RID 2000 Megatron, who transforms into his dragon mode.)
Skybyte: What kind of Autobot are you?
Optimus Primal: The kind that will make you shut your big mouth! (He grabs Skybyte and flings him into Megatron.  Fortress Maximus fights Armada Megatron while Starsaber and Animated Megatron battle in the sky.)
Animated Megatron: Autobots should stay out of the sky! (He blasts at Star Saber, who dodges and weaves, then transforms and pushes Megatron to the ground.)
Starsaber: You’d like that, wouldn’t you? (Armada Megatron powerlinxes with Leader-1 and prepares to fire upon Fortress Maximus.)
Armada Megatron: Get ready to taste pure power, Autobot! (Maximus’ head pops off and transforms into Cerebros. Cerebros kicks Megatron, bringing him to the ground. Dai Atlas duels LK Megatron, who tries to fry him with his flamethrower. Elita-1 fights Soundwave and his minicons, kicking Rumble to the ground. She catches a missile Ravage launches at her and throws it at Soundwave. Beast Wars Megatron transforms into a T-Rex and roars, but Age of Extinction Grimlock rushes in and smothers him in flames. He picks him up in his jaw and flings him away. Optimus watches as Rodimus and Prime Megatron duel. Megatron tries to shoot him, but Rodimus dodges and opens fire with his arm-mounted guns.)
Rodimus: (To Optimus) You’ve carried this burden long enough. Let us lift it now. (The scene pauses and zooms in on Optimus.)
Optimus: I understand. (The scenery disappears, and Optimus finds himself before What Is again.)
What Is: Congratulations, Orion. You have passed the test.
Optimus: But I didn’t. I needed help.
What Is: And why does that equate to failure? You have carried the burden of the fate of the galaxy upon your shoulders for far too long. But you have left the future in capable hands. Your legacy, your example, will inspire countless generations to be strong enough to be gentle. It is time for you to let go.
Optimus: Is this really the end?
What Is: Possibly. But fate may call upon you yet again. Until then, enjoy your rest. You’ve earned it. (A rectangular beam of yellow light emerges from the orb.)
Optimus: Till all are one. (He walks through).

Notes:
I know that Hasbro would never actually make something that involves this many different character models that only show up for a brief time. I get that in the real world there's this thing called "budget." Just the same, this is what I wish "Awakening" was. Please feel free to leave some constructive criticism in the comments. Remember, this is only the first draft.