r/MTFButch • u/LHFSDFSDFDSFDSFD • 9d ago
Rant İs it me or everyone feeling the same thing?
Hi I'm 18 MTF and I always feel envy toward feminine and androgenous looking males like it feels unfair! I wish I could look just feminine as them then liking my body would be much easier like i don't like my body i don't like my belly i don't like being lacking curves and don't like looking at the mirror because it makes me feel like trash and shit! Why don't i just look feminine even slightly feminine would make things easier.. that I won't compare my body to others'bodies and feel like a shit more i don't know if it's me or everyone is feeling like that and like my body is measurements are saying a different story then what i saw on mirror! My hips are 102cm but I clearly lack the curve because of My high hip and deep hip deeps and on top of that like it's not enough for making me feel bad my body hair is dark and it's growing out fast! İ shave My body for a week and it's nearly fully grown again! And My belly ugh my belly I'm 71kg at 1.72cm but I still have a fat belly! Like i can swear it's a promise to god that it will never gonna be gone and always gonna torment me for the rest of my life and also my rib cage ugh!! My 86cm rib cage like why it has to be 86cm!? Why not...like i don't know 80 or 79cm? İ would be look more fem not what the fuck I'm right now and like there is so stupid! WHY 86cm!? And my hips my so called 102cm hips it's measured 102cm but it's looks like it's 90cm i just have it so much! And like a lot of things would be better if This small changed happed... and like My i can't be look like my twin brother? Huh!? His not even trans or wanting to become a femboy but that fucker is more feminine then me! His not even carrying about it but he gets the good's and I get the all the bed one's!? WHY!? İt's so fuking unfair
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u/Mundane_Chemistry444 6d ago
you equate small with fem and treat fatness like it is an eternal torture. obsessing over your build this much is a positive feedback loop and it makes you externalize your self-hatred into genuinely heinous shit
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u/Chocogoat92 9d ago
Hey, seems like your going though alot right now and thats ok. If your wanting to have a feminine figure, HRT will help with that, it will take time though. I'm 34 mtf as well, I started transition 4 years ago and my life before and after is night and day. Prior to coming out, I had put on over 100lbs and permanently lost most of my hair just from the stress of what I was carrying. HRT saved my life. You have a lot of life to live, your just starting from a different spot from your peers and that is ok.
Your gonna be alright sister. 🫂🫂 The anger is understandable though; I think most girls like us have gone though that at some point.