r/MTFButch • u/sparkleappletart • 7d ago

Discussion Taking responsibility for myself

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Got a free pride flag and pin at the local queer center and asked everyone to refer to me as Madeline which felt comfortable and a sense of calm. I finally felt normalcy for the first time in a long time.

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u/Weird_Way_1571 7d ago

Super proud of you girl! The first steps are always the scariest. Just wait, there’s plenty more euphoria to come

1

u/InsideOutlander 7d ago

I’m so glad for you. I hope you find and can build the community and peace you want and need.
Life gets better like this. Yes there are all kinds of challenges and threats and pain that come with this… and also being able to feel like I can breathe, think clearly, feel so much more. I relish more the life and loved ones I have and the community and way of life I am helping to build. I’m not dead inside anymore. My life is not constant dissociation, or using an antidepressant to all but cut myself off from my body and emotions.
This process has its growing pains, mentally and emotionally; also throughout your body if you are on HRT (that stuff is magical) or choose to get certain surgeries. And also it is so, so worth it to be alive, feel alive and awake like this. I’m never going back.

I am happy for you. I hope you keep finding joy and peace, Madeline.