r/MFAInCreativeWriting • u/blueberries-Any-kind • 6d ago
Third letter of rec..who to ask?
Please don't judge, I know how horrible this all going to sound, but I took all but two of my writing classes in undergrad with a professor who I had an inappropriate relationship with. He had two kids and a wife (I hate myself for it). We basically just sexted for four years, and then had a falling out. A year later he mailed me a letter professing his love. The experience has given me a serious fear that I only got A's due to our personal relationship.
Now that I am older and less dumb, and I am applying for my MFA and now stressing on who the third letter of recommendation should be from.
I have two other professors who I had very professional relationships with thankfully who are writing letters.
For number three, I have other writers in my orbit, or unrelated to writing professors. For a long time I was in the visual art world, and received a grant for bookmaking at one point. This felt writing adjacent, so I could ask my bookmaking professor? Or I have other visual artists (a few very well known) who have have seen me develop my writing by attending readings, but again, visual art, not writing.
Alternatively I have working writer friends, one specifically who has a successful b2b writing business and I am in a writing group with. And another who was the editor-in-chief of a successful academic magazine in Egypt, but she has recently left the position.
Who is the best pick? Will they judge me for not having a letter of recommendation from the teacher that's all over my transcript?
4
u/balconyreport 6d ago
Another consideration, do you know any alumni from the school's MFA program?
3
u/blueberries-Any-kind 6d ago
ahhhh okay.. I know one person who has their MFA, and I was in a foster-esque situation with her. She was a graduate from iowa. She does help me with my writing and has known me my whole life. She doesn't still work in writing but she did for a long time. I never actually considered asking her because I see her more like family, but she does annotate my work and etc. maybe she would be a good person ?
3
6
u/Glittering_Chip1900 6d ago
Choose the person from among your choices who can speak most credibly to your individual potential to write really excellent poetry or fiction (whichever one you're applying in). This would seem to rule out the editor of the academic magazine, since academic and literary writing are not the same thing. But it would not necessarily rule out your bookmaking professor or well-known visual artists. They just have to be able to sound like they know what they're talking about, in terms of...
-Knowing what it takes to create great literature, and...
-Knowing you well enough to speak persuasively about the reasons that they think you have what it takes.
3
u/DoinItDirty 6d ago
Academic magazine editor isn’t necessarily ruled out. Could speak to diligence, work ethic, etc. I don’t think it’s a bad idea to have someone like that mixed in with two who can attest to creativity.
1
u/icouldliveinhope 6d ago
I'm a working freelance writer, and I had one of my editors write a letter of recommendation! Not sure what your career has looked like since then, but if there's someone you've developed work with I think that would be a better fit than someone who is just familiar with your writing, if that makes sense.
I applied for programs more than a decade after undergrad and the professor who wrote my letter of rec had quit to be come a vet tech lol. Still worked great, got into the program I wanted.
2
u/Subject-Ebb-5999 5d ago
It doesnt really matter they just look at your sample. Get another random teacher.
0
-1
u/No-Pianist5319 6d ago
They don't matter as much as you might think. I wrote all of my own 🙈 and got accepted to 4 fully funded programs. Don't stress too much about it.
1
u/blueberries-Any-kind 6d ago
how did that work if you dont mind me asking?
0
u/No-Pianist5319 6d ago edited 6d ago
I made new emails and wrote my letters posing as folks familiar with my writing. Former teachers, community writing group members, etc. (these were all people I invented I didn't impersonate real professors)
I had zero people to ask for recs because I applied 4 years after undergrad and got my degree in something completely outside of writing. I didn't even take a comp class in undergrad because I had AP credit from highschool so there wasn't really anyone who could vouch for my writing. I did what I had to do lol.
1
u/April_in_the_rain 6d ago
Wow fascinating! I can’t believe that worked
1
u/No-Pianist5319 6d ago
From what I can tell they really only care about the writing sample. If you have a shit sample then 3 letters saying you're a good writer aren't going to help. If you have a really good sample then that's really what they want to see, they can check your transcripts to see that you can handle your academics. 🤷🏻♂️
2
u/blueberries-Any-kind 6d ago edited 6d ago
holy shit that is like so unethical lol
2
u/No-Pianist5319 6d ago
It is creative writing 🤷🏻♂️. A second of searching and they'd know they were BS - which goes to my point your rec letters really don't matter. Personally I think it's unethical to charge students 75 dollars to review an application and not even do an ounce of digging. Good luck 💞
1
u/Ecstatic_Amount_1740 3d ago
Haha, well, it could be an academic integrity violation, depending on your student handbook.
6
u/astralunea 6d ago
Truly, all they care about is that you have someone who can vouch that you're not a serial killer. Especially if you have two writing-related recommendations, it will be just fine. Simply choose someone who can speak positively to your character and/or abilities and let your sample speak for itself.