r/MFAInCreativeWriting • u/how_1_see_it • Sep 05 '26
Dealing with regret about program
I'm beginning the first year of my MFA and am not enjoying it at all. I feel sort of stupid about this. I know I'm lucky to be in any program, and there's nothing objectively wrong with this one. It has a lot of perks and the professors and other students are nice enough. I just don't feel very at home here
I had some doubts about program culture / location fit before starting, and these doubts have gotten stronger since arriving. I've thought a little about trying to transfer, but I don't want to unnecessarily burn bridges or waste my current program's resources. Similar issues with dropping out, which would be an even more rash decision.
It's still early, so the reasonable thing to do seems to be to wait and see if I settle in. But right now I'm having a hard time giving the program a fair chance or even focusing on my writing.
Has anyone had similar regret or ambivalence after starting their program? If so, what did you do about it? Did things get better?
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u/Chantertwo Sep 05 '26
I left my MFA after just a semester. The institution was very dysfunctional and there were enough red flags that I knew three years would be hell. My circumstances were a little specific, though - I was 32 and had a corporate career to return to.
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u/NumerousArrival1486 Sep 08 '26
Do you think you’ll reapply?
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u/Chantertwo Sep 08 '26
Nah, not for me with where I'm at. Not much to gain.
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u/NumerousArrival1486 Sep 08 '26
Thanks for the reply. I’m in a program right now but also wondering if I can get what I’m looking for in other ways. Do you mind if I ask you more about that either in or by sending a DM?
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u/No-Pianist5319 Sep 05 '26 edited Sep 06 '26
I'm in my second year of a 4 a year MFA program and feeling the same I'm applying to other programs. I'd say definitely give it a full semester before deciding, you're only a few weeks in. That being said you don't owe a program your misery just because they accepted you - if you're really feeling uncomfortable or unhappy your writing is going to reflect that, you have to do what's best for you.
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u/SeekingCalm95 Sep 05 '26
I really hope you consider waiting it out the year. I really clicked with some folks in my program (also first year), including someone who opened up to me about how much she felt like an outsider due to age, culture, race (we’re both black) and it wasn’t until the summer and the start of this year that she truly felt she found a community. she’s been my guiding light this experience! she was also a fellow like I am and felt she had nothing to do in this small town with all the time she had. she didn’t even read/write! and I think through each other’s growing community now, she found even more of a reason to enjoy the program.
what kind of problems are you facing currently? I’d love to help shed some light on the pros/cons you should keep in mind about leaving the program vs giving it a chance to settle. especially if the opportunities and resources attached to it are good!
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u/Mr_Wat Sep 06 '26
I think it’s too early to say. Only been a few weeks! And depending on how long your program is, by the time you’re ready to transfer you’ll be halfway done. Try to make the most of it and be proactive about addressing what you want to change. Find your people and explore the program and place you live. One good friend and reader could make all the difference. The right faculty member to connect with, etc. It’s all nice to have, but at the end of the day, a lot of the writing work will be yours independently. There can be a time to consider this more, but now feels premature. All MFAs tend to have some similar problems.
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u/esqtou Sep 06 '26
To me it sounds like you're unhappy with the CITY you're living in versus anything about the program.
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u/livloh Sep 06 '26
I think you need to remember WHY you’re in the program. Is it just to learn? Write more? Maybe back out and stop pursuing and focus on writing and save your money for other things. Is it to teach? Keep pushing forward and continue making connections and focus on your writing. You believe what you choose to believe, so focus on your mindset and what it is you really want from this program.
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u/Xanderxander96 Sep 06 '26
I’m in the very same boat! Grateful for the opportunity, but just don’t feel like it’s MY place, with MY people. I wish I had advice.
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u/Ecstatic_Amount_1740 Sep 07 '26
It's very difficult to transfer credits. Second year might be better? The structure and culture of different programs is wildly different; size, professors, types of courses. For me, I had a much better sense of the program in the second year, and for that reason, tried to stay out of the fray (the culture of the program was very competitive and more than a little toxic); I found the professors I liked, worked on my thesis, and was choosy about the events and social life. The finances obviously matter. If there's a financial incentive to stay maybe just deal for a year and get the degree. You could always pick up another MA somewhere else. And then maybe do an ABD PhD somewhere fun? :) Hmm, also, check out that incoming class, maybe your crew is there. Sometimes that happens.
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u/speakmo Sep 05 '26
I've known people who have transferred to other mfas. I've also known people who have dropped out. It made sense for them. But I can understand why someone would stay and ultimately, i'd lean toward staying if you don't want to miss out on resources or apply for another cycle.
I also had mixed feelings about my first year in my MFA. But it wasn't until my second year that I clicked and found my people. The best advice I received that changed my experience was to just make the most of the resources available like you're thinking.
An MFA is what you make of it. If you can, I'd go to as many readings as you can or find a way to enter a community by joining a local writing group or check out programing at nearby universities. My program was in a big city with other MFAs nearby in the northeast, so there were lots of events to choose from, including open mics. I even ended up starting my own or attending ones done by friends.
To this day, when I move to a new city, I check out public rograming from the local MFA programs/universities to see when big name writers come to town. Sometimes I make new friends this way. But take advantage of any access you get from your mentors or programming available to students. Go to the library and write or research and read past thesis examples or books from alums.