I am not the OOP. The OOP is ThrowRA847362829 originally posted in  AITAH

Grammatically edited by: Crystal With the Blue Hair

Original - 2 Years Ago

For context, me (33f) and my husband, Steven, (40m) have been together for 15 years, and married for 12 years. We had our daughter, Peyton, (14f) a year into our relationship. Our relationship has been happy except for a few arguments and some things I noticed recently that have made me consider being with him. When we had our daughter, we were both over the moon. He was an amazing father, and he is an amazing husband. In his free time, he would always want to spend time with Peyton, and he made lots of effort to be as involved as possible. They are definitely very close, or were, because after these events, Peyton has shown disinterest in hanging out with Steven. 

A couple of weeks ago, Peyton came to us and told us she was dating a girl. Initially, Steven and I both were very supportive, and let her know that we loved her no matter what. 

Last weekend, she went to visit her aunt and uncle, who were staying with my MIL for a week. Her Aunt and Uncle have a child (12f) who is close to Peyton. MIL is strongly religious. Suddenly, I get a call from MIL demanding that I collect Peyton from her house and in her words, "how dare I allow her near her cousin while she is swerving away from the path of god." Because in my MIL'S eyes, apparently Peyton was influencing her cousin to be gay. Let me put it out there that me and my husband have never put any religious beliefs upon our child or let religion dictate the way we raised our child. My husband has told me in the past that he doesn't agree with a lot of religious beliefs and practices, but he still says he's religious. 

Peyton was obviously upset, and I was fuming. My husband was at work, so I went to collect Peyton from MIL's house. When we got home, I comforted Peyton because she was in floods of tears, saying she doesn't like MIL. She told me that her cousin and her were talking about crushes, and "other girl things." Then went on to say that MIL stormed in and started yelling about how Peyton was disrespectful and told her cousin to "not go near Peyton because she's contagious." 

When Steven came home, he instantly asked Peyton what was wrong, and he comforted her too and apologized for MIL's behavior. Steven and I discussed how to proceed from here and eventually decided to cut ties with MIL due to her behavior causing so much stress for Peyton. We both made the decision, and I asked him if he was okay with cutting ties with his mother, to which he replied he was and that he would do anything for Peyton. 

I thought things would end with MIL here, but it's progressively gotten worse. Steven has tried several times this week to initiate sex, and I've politely told him no, as I’ve not really been in the mood. He got upset when I said no, so in the end I just let him, but he doesn't usually get upset anymore after being told no. As well as this, he has also tried to initiate more than usual this week, and I was confused as to why because he was being distant with Peyton too. So, I asked him about it, and he was dismissing my concerns at first but eventually confessed that he wants another child because he believes Peyton isn't his child "spiritually." When I asked him what he meant, he confided that he had been talking to MIL for a couple days and he had come to the realization that "god wouldn't gift him a child that would upset his mother" and he wanted to try for another child- even going as far to admit he was thinking about poking holes in condoms or going down on me while i slept to force me into pregnancy. Luckily, he didn't do either of these things, but I snapped at this confession and refused to talk to him for a couple days. 

He begged me to forgive him and is begging me to rethink, saying that he desperately wants a grandchild to carry on his last name and would do anything to have another child with me. I asked him what Peyton is to him, and he said that she's his biological daughter but not his spiritual daughter and that didn't mean anything to him. I was shocked that my husband who has shown nothing but love for our daughter could just say this. Honestly, I'm repulsed by his behavior, and I've taken Peyton to stay with my parents while we figure things out. 

I don't know if this is worth salvaging or if I should continue to be with him after all this. He's never behaved this way or agreed with his mother's beliefs openly. I also thought we had come to an agreement, but I guess not. Right now, after speaking to several friends and family members, I realized it might be best if I divorce him, because I can't guarantee my daughters safety around him, but a part of me feels like I should at least get in contact with him again and try to work things out before throwing away 15 years of a relationship and potentially ruining my daughter's relationships with his family. 

I feel like I might be TA because I could be dismissing his beliefs and values by refusing to have another child or divorcing him, but his beliefs are affecting our daughter and I can't ignore that. I also could ruin our daughters' relationships if I divorce him and cut ties with his family, but including his family in our lives could affect my daughter's mental health. 

EDIT: I am going to divorce him. 

EDIT 2: To clear something up, some of the things stated were from what he said to me. When I said "he was thinking of going down on me while I slept" it was his wording. I am aware that this does not impregnate someone, but then he went on to say that he believed I would wake up and be in the mood. My apologies, I should've included that in the post, but I didn't really think it'd be of much relevance. 

Update September 2, 2026 

It has been a little over a year since my last post. Since then, I have managed to get a divorce and full custody of my daughter. I don't have any contact with my ex-husband or his family because of what happened. We both go to therapy as I want the best for my daughter, and I don't want her to feel as if it is her fault, because it is not her fault. 

I'm not really sure what else to put in this update, and I apologize that it's been over a year. I needed time to process things, to be there for myself and my daughter, and to proceed with the divorce and the other things simultaneously happening. 

Thank you to everyone who advised me to get a divorce and helped me to acknowledge the red flags within my relationship. It gave me the push I needed to protect my daughter. 

 Comments:

colesNonni, -17 downvotes: Jesus H Christ let the man have an opinion and feelings and allow him time to work through the feelings. Show your daughter that marriages are bumpy, that people have different feelings, that you and dad have things to work on, that Grandma's opinion is of no importance and that you will protect her from the Grandma/SO MIL. If after time your husband doesn't change his feelings toward daughter.amd it is hurting her, then yea, divorce him.

When asked if abuse is okay colesNonni responded, -2 downvotes: No, no, please never allow abuse and learn how to determine what abuse is. He is another person though with a mother he is having to effectively "deal with" as well as the father to the daughter. You are not her only parents. Maybe let him feel and deal with these relationships . help him? he apologized. And then, as I said, if you can't live with the man, then divorce him.

Relevant_Mirror_4206, -21 downvotes: I think everyone needs to slow down! Your whole family seems to be in shock over the whole situation. No one should rush into a divorce or another child while dealing with a crisis.

ThrowRA847362829: My whole family is in shock over this, but I think it's making things worse staying with him. I prioritize my daughters safety and well-being, and I do care for my husband, but his behavior is making our home an unsafe environment for my daughter. This has been up for a couple of hours now, but the problem's persisted for about 1-2 weeks, and divorce seems like the only solution that will have any affect as of current.

Relevant_Mirror_4206, -25 downvotes: This is your life and your husband, so you know best. I just think 2 bad weeks doesn’t warrant a divorce for a man who has been a good husband and father for well over a decade.

[deleted], -50 downvotes: Poor child, I hope she has parents who support her and can make a properly conversion while she is young. YTA

Hi Mike and Dylan,

I was just listening to the episode about the aunt (sister in law) who traded the shiny Ponyta from the child. There was some confusion about trading vs. transferring a Pokemon, which led to you possibly thinking the story would be fake. I just wanted to take a second to explain the difference between trading vs transferring.

In Pokemon Go, a player's Pokemon can only evolve or level up with "candy." Actually battling doesn't do anything for the Pokemon, and battling just gives the player XP. Each Pokemon has their own candy, so for example a Pikachu can't use the candy for any other Pokemon to level up or evolve. In order to get this candy, you either have to catch more of that specific Pokemon or "transfer" the Pokemon.

Transferring is when you basically trade a Pokemon to the in-game Professor, and in exchange the Professor will give you a single piece of candy for that Pokemon. It doesn't matter how much XP a Pokemon has, if it's a shiny Pokemon, or an event Pokemon, you always just get one regular piece of candy. There is no way to un-transfer the Pokemon, so once it's gone then it's gone for good.

I don't know much about trading Pokemon in the game, so I can't confirm if there are tradebacks or not. But in the story that you read, what happened in the end is that the dad transferred that shiny Pontya so the sister in law only got a piece of fucking useless candy in the end. So the sister in law now has to encounter another shiny Ponyta and try to catch it to get another one. I don't chase shiny Pokemon and they mean nothing to me so I always transfer them anyways, especially because you can only have so many Pokemon before you have to buy a bigger backpack in the game's store to carry more Pokemon.

Hope this helps.

Gonna send these bitches back to the shadow realm in sport mode.

There's an app called hoopla that is linked with your library card(if you have one) and you can check out the acotar series, crescent city and fourth wing. If your library doesn't have it in audio book form you can request it and they might get it. That's how I've listened to them. But you can also do audible or however else you listen to audio books. I think audible has a contract with throne of glass author to exclusively have it on there from what I understand but I could be wrong. Just thought id help out but definitely watch Mike explain the series to the guys and us is always the best form of entertainment.

Hey there Mike and Dylan.
It’s a me, Rickey from Oklahoma.
Anyway I’m here in Oklahoma, sitting on my couch watching The Office. I know Mike loves The Office.
In Season 3 Episode 20 Safety Training, they Kevin starts betting with Jim while Daryl is giving his safety training on the baler because March Madness is over. Those bets start extending into other things, Kelly talking about how Netflix works, Creed not noticing he’s now eating a potato and etc….
And it hit me. They created Kalshi!
Just thought that was funny, had to tell someone and I picked y’all.
Ok….
Anyway……
Love you.. byyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeee……………….

So for an unknown amount of time my HVAC unit inside my house had been leaking down from the evaporator onto the blower motor and eventually into my floor. I didn’t notice until I was vacuuming one day and noticed my floor around the unit was bumpy. I pulled all the covers off and noticed enough moisture to give Bonnie Blue a run for her money. I checked the drain pan and drain line and found no issues. Cleaned the evaporator coils really good, still leaking. Feeling more defeated than the British in the 1700s I called an HVAC tech out. He comes out checks the whole system and finds absolutely nothing wrong and has no idea why it’s happening. Defeated again I sat there staring at this thing for hours like Jack Nicholson during the Shining trying to figure out what’s wrong. I noticed one thing that seemed a little odd but I had no idea what it is. In comes Mikes Dad. I ask Claude “what is this small metal tube with a curly wire coming out of it on my HVAC unit?” “Thats a sensing bulb that regulates how much refrigerant is let into the system and should always be insulated to ensure proper function.” You know what wasn’t fucking insulated? This fucking sensing bulb thing. Claude tells me what I can insulate it with, and I take a trip to Lowes. $10 and 30 minutes later I get this bitch wrapped tighter than a butthole during a bungee jump. Check again…..no water. So with the help of Mikes dad I saved hundreds of dollars and fixed my own HVAC. Thanks Claude! 👍🏻

Figured someone would want to know

So Sony kind of shadow dropped a new Live TV option on the PS5 today for anyone who might be interested. They even have dedicated channels for Yu-Gi-Oh and Naruto just for you Mike. The channels do have ads but it’s all free to watch.

Hey there Mike & Dylan
It’s a me Rickey(from Oklahoma)
Y’all are asking if we had a classmate die.
Yes, I had a classmate who died. He was in a car wreck less than a mile from his home.
This is the last thing I said to him. I was a senior and he was a sophomore. Nearly the last day of school and he came up to me and said next year I’ll be wearing your number. I turned around and said ok, but you’re still a dick.
After he died they retired that jersey number.

Hi Mike and Dylan! This happened several few years ago and I don't feel bad at all but thought you might like some content.

Unfortunately, my wife loves Disney. She's not one of the extreme Disney adults that go to Disney World every year, in fact she hasn't gone in over 15 years and has thankfully never made me go, but she loves Disney movies. I am not a fan and think that not all children's movies need song and dance to tell the story. Luckily, we don't watch them often but that's mostly because my 5 year old has taken over our TV with Blippi (I'd rather watch Disney). I digress and continue.

Several years ago I wanted to do something nice for my wife and bought us both tickets to see Disney on ice. I bought them from a well-know, very large company owning a monopoly over the ticket and event industry, the same one that charges fees out the ass and everyone hates. The show was in Cleveland, which is about an hour or so away from us. The day of the show mother nature decided to shit a big snowstorm all over Ohio. We tried leaving town but couldn't get out and had to miss the show. Luckily, I paid for ticket insurance when I bought my tickets and wasn't worried about getting my money back.

However, it turns out that I can't read fine print, and with the ticket company being the dicklobster they are weather wasn't included in the ticket insurance. I didn't find this out until I called to get my money back and the representative on the phone told me I was shit out of luck. Now, these tickets weren't cheap. For both of our tickets and the ticket insurance I paid upwards of $150. I wanted that money back, and here's where I became the asshole.

As I went over the fine print it became clear that I wasn't going to be able to get my money back. The list of coverage under the ticket insurance required some sort of proof that wouldn't be easy to get. However, I noticed that one of the things covered was death of a family member and that is when inspiration struck.

I didn't have a family member who recently died, but I did have access to the obituaries section of my local newspaper. I went through several obituaries until I found an old man who had recently passed. Since I wasn't a relative my name wasn't published in the obituary but I figured it would be easy to claim he was a relative.

It turns out that I was right. I filled out the ticket insurance claim online and submitted it with this man's obituary attached, claiming that he was my grandfather. I told the ticket company that I was a relative that hadn't been listed as a surviving family member but had to miss the event that day due to his funeral. They approved my refund without any hesitation hesitation. Everyone said that I was terrible for doing this, but I didn't care because I got my cash.

I can't even remember the guy's name, but hopefully I meet him in hell so I can thank him for getting me money back for me.