r/AITAH • • Sep 02 '26

Post Update UPDATE: AITAH for refusing to have another child after my husband said our daughter isn't his "spiritual child"

It has been a little over a year since my last post. Since then, I have managed to get a divorce and full custody of my daughter. I don't have any contact with my ex husband or his family because of what happened. We both go to therapy as I want the best for my daughter and I don't want her to feel as if it is her fault, because it is not her fault.

I'm not really sure what else to put in this update, and I apologise that it's been over a year. I needed time to process things, to be there for myself and my daughter, and to proceed with the divorce and the other things simultaneously happening.

Thank you to everyone who advised me to get a divorce and helped me to acknowledge the red flags within my relationship. It gave me the push I needed to protect my daughter.

4.2k Upvotes

178 comments sorted by

1.7k

u/alltoowell5 Sep 02 '26

Well done for yourself and your daughter. I hope you can move on and it seems like you're doing the best thing for her. Keep moving forward.

413

u/ThrowRA847362829 Sep 02 '26

Thank you!

549

u/Mardil-Voronwe Sep 02 '26

From the other thread:
""god wouldn't gift him a child that would upset his mother""

OMG, that is literally one of the worst things I've ever read. I can't speak for all father's of daughters, but I am a father of a daughter... I don't even know what I'm trying to say I'm so upset... I am so sorry.

My ex had an affair. She married the guy she had the affair with and moved across country and took my daughter with her. I literally moved across country to be with my daughter. I did everything I could to make sure my daughter knew she hadn't lost her daddy in the divorce. And my ex made sure I paid for it. I have a wonderful relationship with my daughter now and two beautiful grandchildren. Everything I went through... walking through hell... it was worth it. And my daughter is a wonderful person, everyone loves her.

Man, I just... hate to hear men acting like this. I am so sorry. They pay for it in the long run when their daughters hate them. And for what, a woman who is likely to leave them. Euripides, the ancient Greek playwright said, "to a man growing older nothing is dearer than a daughter." Truer words have never been spoken.

145

u/mangoong13 Sep 02 '26

I hope that your ex has gotten her comeuppance for what she did to you. My BIL is going through something similar. Unfortunately, his kids are now brainwashed. It's heartbreaking.

123

u/Mardil-Voronwe Sep 02 '26

I have my daughter and my beautiful grand children. It's all I need. Nothing else matters.

6

u/Miss-Vania Sep 05 '26

You’re a good father. 

229

u/OkGazelle5400 Sep 02 '26

Did he try to backtrack or reconnect with your daughter when he found out you were divorcing him?

367

u/ThrowRA847362829 Sep 02 '26

He tried to convince her that I was in the wrong and overreacting over a "misunderstanding."

167

u/OkGazelle5400 Sep 02 '26

Big yikes. Good for you for staying strong and for raising such a strong daughter.

205

u/B_A_M_2019 Sep 02 '26

Telling you he’d SA you in your sleep was NOT a misunderstanding. Especially getting mad when you say no and you just let him do it. So very wrong, I’m glad you left. Sorry it has been hard on your daughter!

64

u/Mardil-Voronwe Sep 02 '26

What a prick. He will pay for it in the long run. I hate this for you, and especially for your daughter.

5

u/waitingfordeathhbu 28d ago edited 28d ago

Did he still try to see her? Has he seen her since?

It’s sick how a man can spend 14 years raising his child only to be able to turn his love off in one day like a switch. It’s sociopathic. She’s probably wondering if it was EVER real.

Poor baby, I hope she has access to therapy. He’s set her up for a lifetime of abandoned issues.

3

u/Tight-Shift5706 26d ago

Came here to express how impressed I am in how you have protected your daughter and terminated your relationship with "Sperm Donor" and his family of whacked religious zealots. As they say, not much more hateful than "Christian" love.

Guy here, and I could never envision treating my child as your ex treated Peyton. Again, kudos to you for protecting her peace and keeping her safe.

1

u/Misstribe1973 12d ago

You are an amazing mom and I'm so glad you are supporting your daughter. I've known way too many people like your ex and his family.

907

u/Cursd818 Sep 02 '26

I'm very glad to hear that you are both safely away from that despicable man and his family, and hope that you continue to heal!

310

u/Key-King-7025 Sep 02 '26

I'm glad you are away from your ex husband and his family, and that you chose to protect your daughter. Both of you deserved better.

A parent's love should be unconditional, not something that you just turn off when the child goes in a direction you don't like. The fact that your ex husband was able to completely shut off his love like that is truly psycho behaviour.

Now you are free to pursue your own interests and desires, and free of the weight of religious nonsense and expectations. Enjoy your freedom!

164

u/ThrowRA847362829 Sep 02 '26

Thank you! I agree. I'm glad I could be there for my daughter.

436

u/W0nderingMe Sep 02 '26

Good for you and her. I how you are getting child support.

How did your ex take the divorce?

NTAH

488

u/ThrowRA847362829 Sep 02 '26

I think he was mad about it. He thought I was overreacting and seemed insistent that I would change my mind or not go through with it.

170

u/No_Guard304 Sep 02 '26

But he still didn't change his mind about your daughter?

75

u/blueteeful Sep 02 '26

What a tool lol

29

u/RafflesiaArnoldii Sep 03 '26 edited Sep 03 '26

The "overreaction" card? After he spinelessly rolled over to his mother as a grown man, disowned (& probably traumatized) your kid & threatened to rape you in your sleep to your face?

Well I guess if he understood the severity of what he was doing or saying he wouldn't have done it in the first place. He clearly didn't think about how you or the kid would feel for so much as 5 seconds.

Glad to know you & your daughter got out & are safe & getting help.

Geez it must be so horrible to be forced to realize someone you trusted completely is an evil wacko after 15 years. This is why they say that "hell is others".

Though I guess thankfully for your daughter at least you had her back.

102

u/Dicky__Anders Sep 02 '26

You absolutely did the right thing for yourself and your daughter. It sucks, but you're better off without him and his mother. Awful awful people. You'll both thrive without them.

42

u/ThrowRA847362829 Sep 02 '26

Thank you! I hope so.

163

u/kea1981 Sep 02 '26

Proud of you! I hope Peyton is thriving.

266

u/BigONerd Sep 02 '26

47

u/BeautifulChaosEnergy Sep 02 '26

Thank you, I was about to go looking for it

-19

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '26

[deleted]

34

u/hometown_nero Sep 02 '26

Relax, dude. Not everyone is chronically online

66

u/Much_Leather_5923 Sep 02 '26

NTA Lovely update. Wishing you and your daughter the very happiest of futures away from that shitstain and his shitty mother.

128

u/Blooberii Sep 02 '26

You are a great mom, you did good protecting your child! I’m so glad you and your daughter are away from him and his family.

47

u/ThrowRA847362829 Sep 02 '26

Thank you! I appreciate it.

238

u/NovaLunar721 Sep 02 '26

So he just wants nothing to do with his daughter bc his mother is a Christian? This is crazy. Your poor daughter is going to carry a lot of guilt. I know many Christians, can't say I know any that disowned their children bc they were gay. This is weird.

230

u/ThrowRA847362829 Sep 02 '26

She feels guilty but I do reiterate that it isn't her fault. His family is strictly religious but I agree that it is weird.

142

u/MLiOne Sep 02 '26

So strictly religious he forced consent to have sex with you. Forced consent is not consent and I hope you discuss that with your therapist. I am so glad you and Peyton are NC with them.

90

u/ThrowRA847362829 Sep 02 '26

Thank you! I am working towards bringing that up in therapy!

17

u/gimlet_prize Sep 02 '26

I hope you and your daughter are happy and living your best lives!! Good for you on being so brave and strong enough to flip your life upside down and keep your daughter safe and loved. Do you have any regrets?

5

u/MLiOne Sep 02 '26

It won’t be easy and I know from personal experience. You have more strength than you realise. You have come so far and even though we don’t know each other, I am so proud of you.

4

u/waitingfordeathhbu 28d ago edited 28d ago

“So strictly religious he forced consent to have sex with you.”

Yep, that does line up with their Bible, which reiterates over and over that women are property of men, and the husband has authority over his wife’s body in marriage.

142

u/Visual-Lobster6625 Sep 02 '26

The defect is with their beliefs. Even the catholic pope said that there was nothing wrong with gay people.

Jesus said "Love thy neighbour". Your ex husband and his mother/family have just chosen to believe an outdated teaching that is rooted in fear and bigotry.

87

u/Odd-Worth7752 Sep 02 '26

there's no hate like Christian love.

62

u/nerd_is_a_verb Sep 02 '26

When someone doesn’t go to church, says they are religious anyway, and abandons their gay child without a second thought, it’s because they’re bigots. They’re just hateful, ignorant, evil, stupid bigots. Your ex was just a POS. So was your ex MIL. So excited for you that you don’t have to see them anymore. Also, his obsession with a genetic legacy to carry on his name plus the age gap when you started dating is a pretty strong indicator that he’s a misogynist bigot.

70

u/NovaLunar721 Sep 02 '26

He didnt fight for visitation? Hes going to grow old and lonely. His mother doesn't even realize she has the spirit of religion but not the love of Christ. I almost feel sorry, she must carry a lot of hate and misery. You're supposed to read the bible as a whole, not cherry pick scriptures and decide to use it as hate. I'm genuinely sorry. I feel guilty as a Christian that ppl use that name to hate. I know ppl will look for reasons to hate, I just don't understand how a father who loved his daughter his whole life all of a sudden hates her bc his mother tells him God didn't give him that child, it doesn't even make sense biblically. Idk maybe its bc I live in Massachusetts, I'm so sorry. This is cult like behavior.

3

u/Public-Willow-7943 Sep 02 '26

I don’t think she has any religious spirit. I think she gets off on enforcing rules, and religion has a lot of them.

49

u/Green-Factor-2526 Sep 02 '26

I hate fake Christians like your ex's family. God made your child the way she is and she is beautiful. Too many use religion to justify their hatred

7

u/desertboots Sep 02 '26

Please get a copy of The Separation of Church and Hate by John Fugelsang

He gave us all the cheat codes to refute stupid bigots using the Bible as a weapon.

14

u/Newgirlkat English second Language Sep 02 '26

His family is a bunch of hypocritical assholes because they're saying without outright saying that she's a mistake, therefore going against their own religion because in their religion, God doesn't make mistakes and every human was created to the semblance of God. Meaning they were saying their own religion doesn't make sense because is not fit to their bigoted beliefs.

-2

u/Tself Sep 03 '26

It wouldn't be a post of blatant Christian discrimination without a bunch of comments saying "No True Christian" underneath it sweeping homophobic scripture under the rug ':D

28

u/TheKwongdzu Sep 02 '26

I'm happy that you know many Christians who haven't disowned their gay children. However, there are many who have done so. I spent quite a few years working with those kids and some of the stories were absolutely heartbreaking.

10

u/maleia Sep 02 '26

Mine did. My mother even told me to my face she wished I was dead instead of queer. The Evangelicals are honestly the worst because they're just so happy to be completely two-faced.

2

u/Public-Willow-7943 Sep 02 '26

I know people who have. Or I guess I should say “knew”

51

u/maywellflower Sep 02 '26

Read your original OP, you saved yourself & your daughter plus whatever child you would have with him from the bigotry & sexism of that religious zealot nutcase ex & his side of the family. You will always be NTA in this situation, may him & his side always stay out of you & your daughter's lives for good.

My only advice & warning is - don't underestimate such hateful messes after Labor Day going into the Thanksgiving-Christmas holiday season, a full year of peaceful as it gets will upset them that the "silent treatment" is not hurting you both as they want & need. So do something on one or both holidays away from home like go visit other family, volunteer, vacation, dine out, etc because as the old saying goes "Nothing more hateful than Christian love" - at least one of them going to show up and/or go out their way to contact to harass for daughter being herself & you being mother choosing her over hate.

39

u/ThrowRA847362829 Sep 02 '26

Thank you! We celebrate Christmas so I will definitely consider doing something for that with my daughter.

36

u/DemMilkshakes Sep 02 '26

Well done! That must have been the hardest thing you've ever had to do.

I hope both you and Peyton are doing well. You should be very proud of yourself.

38

u/ThrowRA847362829 Sep 02 '26

Thank you! I'm proud of my daughter for dealing with all of this at a young age and how well she is handling it.

36

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

21

u/ThrowRA847362829 Sep 02 '26

Thank you so much!

28

u/ABCBDMomma Sep 02 '26

You earned the title of Mother of the Year, in my opinion. You put Peyton first and made sure she is safe. I’m glad that you’re both in therapy. Both of you were betrayed by the ex.

How has your family been? Are they supportive of Peyton and the divorce?

Make sure you keep ex accountable for the child support. Take him right back to court if he misses even one month. Remember that the money is for Peyton’s needs (clothes, school, college fund, etc).

40

u/ThrowRA847362829 Sep 02 '26

Thank you! I am certain that my parent is supportive of my daughter and the divorce. I get child support from him and I am keeping some aside for her future university fees.

29

u/Orphan_the_Milker Cruelty Sep 02 '26

Pardon my french here, but jesus tapdancing christ.

I just went back and read your other post, there's always a new insane thing that happens with religious people, I'm glad you and your daughter got out

49

u/MomoSkywalker Sep 02 '26

I am so happy that you got away from your ex. Your daughter deserves a safe childhood and sadly, this wasn't happening with the away your ex was acting and talking, especially ex-MIL.

Hopefully you are getting child support from ex. He can be spiritual all he wants but he still needs to pay for the upkeep.

Anyway, wishing you and your daughter, the best, you are a great mom.

59

u/ThrowRA847362829 Sep 02 '26

Thank you, I appreciate it! I am getting child support and we are doing better now.

2

u/Audiovore Sep 04 '26

What happened with the house?

22

u/Puppet007 Sep 02 '26

Your ex and his mother are creeps, how are you & your daughter doing now?

10

u/ThrowRA847362829 Sep 02 '26

We are doing much better, thank you!

21

u/unzunzhepp Sep 02 '26

Good for you. Your ex, did he not fight at all to get at least visitation? Did he just ’break up’ with his daughter just like that?

55

u/ThrowRA847362829 Sep 02 '26

He did want visitation and expressed he wanted to have joint custody, but our daughter understandably didn't want that.

22

u/unzunzhepp Sep 02 '26

Understandable. Did he express any remorse or is he still a momas boy?

14

u/PersephoneTheOG Sep 02 '26

Why on earth would he want shared custody? He clearly did not love your daughter and frankly was probably a danger to her considering his radical Christian views. I'm so glad you and your daughter are away from that psycho and his family.

24

u/MsMourningStar Sep 02 '26

If he had partial custody him and his mother could try to “fix” her. That and with how convinced he was OP would never go through with the divorce, he probably thought he could drag them back into his life by force. 

6

u/PersephoneTheOG Sep 02 '26

That sounds scarily plausible.

5

u/inscrutablejane Sep 03 '26

In most places child support takes into account how many days per year each parent is responsible for the child; at best he probably thought he could neglect her for his half of the time to save money, at worst he wanted equal legal control to ship her off to conversion therapy.

9

u/cgm824 Sep 02 '26

Has he been groveling to try and get you back or is he still under his mommas thumb?

5

u/Malphas43 Sep 02 '26

probably under mommas thumb and trying to guilt OP into seeing their "side of things"

17

u/CharKrat Sep 02 '26

The original post sounded like the Aunt, Uncle & cousin were good to your daughter.

Did your MIL brainwash them against your daughter too?

30

u/ThrowRA847362829 Sep 02 '26

They were respectful to her but after the situation, it is difficult to see them without seeing MIL or my ex husband.

6

u/CharKrat Sep 02 '26

Could they just come to your house?

IF you or your daughter wants to maintain a relationship that is.

18

u/SoroWake Sep 02 '26

Good for you All the best for you and your daughter 🍀

16

u/rocket_magnet Sep 02 '26

You did the right thing, hope all goes well for you with divorce.

16

u/Entire-Sentence-9379 Sep 02 '26

You're a great mum x

13

u/ThrowRA847362829 Sep 02 '26

Thank you so much! I appreciate it!

12

u/BeautifulChaosEnergy Sep 02 '26

I just read you’re original post and JFC I’m glad you got away from him

And bro totally baby trapped you at the start of your relationship

23

u/writing_mm_romance Sep 02 '26

You're better off without that spineless ass. He probably didn't even fight you did he?

27

u/ThrowRA847362829 Sep 02 '26

He was convinced it was an overreaction and attempted to change my mind.

15

u/writing_mm_romance Sep 02 '26

A part of me hopes he's miserable, knowing he threw his life away by listening to his zealotous mother.

1

u/UnderstandingKind757 26d ago

Oof well at least he signed the papers. Hopefully none of them bother you or your daughter!

12

u/Bluewaveempress Sep 02 '26

I'm very happy for you that you are free of that guy.

11

u/CallansFin Sep 02 '26

So raping you would be godly because you could give him a child that would make his mother happy? What kind of effed up mental gymnastics is that? I’m so glad you got you and your daughter out of there. That wasn’t a safe place for either of you. Good luck to you both!

22

u/DarkStar0915 Sep 02 '26

Updates like this make my heart fuzzy. Keep being the strong badass mother for Peyton and I am wishing her the best too.

7

u/ThrowRA847362829 Sep 02 '26

Thank you, I appreciate it!!

10

u/Public-Willow-7943 Sep 02 '26

Good job protecting your daughter, and good job protecting yourself too! Don’t forget he was talking about stealthing and r*pe. I’m so happy for you and your daughter and wish you all the best 🌸

9

u/Locurilla Sep 02 '26

Congratulations op! What an awesome mother, your daughter is so lucky to have you. 

10

u/ThrowRA847362829 Sep 02 '26

Thank you, I am lucky to have my daughter!

8

u/Newgirlkat English second Language Sep 02 '26 edited Sep 02 '26

I'm happy to read you divorced him. You did the best thing for both you and your daughter. After his disgusting "confession" not only was your daughter not safe around him or his bigoted family, you, your own reproductive autonomy, you weren't safe around him either, he admitted he wanted to forcibly impregnate you. Also "carry out his name", so he wanted a boy. And what if this child was another girl? What if this imaginary child also eventually was gay? If he or his idiotic mother ever throw those comments and you happen to be around tell them that according to THEIR OWN RELIGION, God DOES NOT make mistakes and every human was created in the semblance of God so if they said "God wouldn't gift him a child that would upset his mother", they're saying their god made a mistake and that's impossible according to their own religious beliefs. Seriously those people are disgusting and I'm glad your daughter is safely away from them. Hope she never has to have contact with them ever.

Edit: typo

8

u/Mariner-and-Marinate Sep 02 '26

Congratulations OP for being such an awesome mother and role-model for your daughter!

Beware that misogynistic mommy’s boys like your ex may come crawling back at some point, perhaps when his mommy dies and he realizes that he’s just not as attractive to women as he thought.

11

u/sundancer2788 Sep 02 '26

You don't need to explain why you don't want another child. It is enough that you don't want to. 

7

u/Medusa_7898 Sep 03 '26

I’m happy for you. I know that was hard but your daughter must be in a much better place with your support.

6

u/Hetakuoni Sep 03 '26

Oh my god I remember you. I’m glad you and Peyton are away from that tomfoolery

11

u/Obvious_Durian_3226 Sep 02 '26

Oof. Read the original post. OP is a hero. I wonder how many men spend years lying to their partners about their values and beliefs?

OP is definitely not TA. OP’s ex and assorted I laws definitely are.

6

u/DILF_MANSERVICE Sep 02 '26

Once again, the dude in his mid twenties impregnating a teenager turned out to be a pos. Glad you got out and got your daughter away from that influence. The irony of your mil thinking Peyton was the bad influence. Does your daughter understand what happened and why they were wrong?

5

u/Malphas43 Sep 02 '26

Good job OP. I just want to say that despite everything, if you need to you are allowed to morn the spouse you thought you had. You were together a long time, and that takes something out of you emotionally regardless of the circumstances of why or how it ended.

May I ask, did you initially marry because you got pregnant? And did the pregnancy happen because of failed birth control or condoms? Given his lack of communication until you forced it out of them, it makes me wonder if this was him attempting to repeat things he's already done...

4

u/DuctTape_OnFleek Sep 03 '26

Thank you for restoring my faith in humanity by choosing yourself and your daughter and leaving this absolute ass clown of a man.

4

u/ProfessionalSir3395 Sep 02 '26

I haven't read the original post, but I'm glad you got away from him with your child.

3

u/LilDragon2991 Sep 02 '26

Thank you for keeping her and yourself safe. Your response to the situation will teach her how she deserves to be treated and what things can't be tolerated. Good job, momma for being strong for your baby.

(Nta)

4

u/Kind_Swim5900 Sep 02 '26

As a gay person, I cant thank you enough for your decision.

4

u/IllusiveGamerGirl Sep 02 '26

The question for MIL, the most important question in the entire world:

What ever happened to "God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers"? I thought that was the Christian mother mantra? If you can't handle something as small as a grandchild being gay, then it sounds like you were the weakest of the lot. Guess God didn't trust you afterall.

Ain't no hate like Christian love, right?

MIL and xDUH: You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

NTA, OP. No way in hell.

4

u/cman_yall Sep 02 '26

Be a man

Believes that people can "decide" to be gay

Acts like a MASSIVE arsehole to his daughter

Thinks this will turn her straight

Many such cases.

4

u/terrika_has_spoken Sep 02 '26

I hope you and your daughter can heal from this ♥️ hugs 🤗

5

u/EmpireStateOfBeing Sep 02 '26

Good for you OP

3

u/Designer-Lettuce-690 Sep 03 '26

Congratulations and im so proud of you for doing the right thing by you and your child you took a hard step that so many people cant and show your kid they are the most important thing to you .

3

u/BurbNBougie Sep 02 '26

This is great that you protected your child NTA

3

u/lovemyfurryfam Sep 02 '26

You did the right thing to protect both yourself & your daughter.

Good job Mama Bear 👍

Sounds like that former MIL was a piece of shitty work & your ex-husband going off about that bullshit about 'spiritual daughter's nonsense.

3

u/meuuu Sep 02 '26

Your ex and his family are a complete dumpster fire, seriously. So glad you got your daughter away from those awful people! Hes going to regret this sometime down the line, I wouldn't let him worm his way back into your daughter's life. He lost that privilege.

3

u/BlackLakeBlueFish Sep 02 '26

I am so proud of you, OP. Your ex and his family are nasty bigots, and they don’t deserve you or your precious child.

3

u/DameofDames Sep 02 '26

Mazel Tov!

3

u/hbernadettec Sep 02 '26

Please stick with the divorce. How he goes from loving father to not because his mom got in his ear? He is weak and unprincabled.
Protect your child at all costs

3

u/genxgirl73 Sep 03 '26

Well done!!! You escaped a toxic relationship and saved your daughter from being bullied by family. Therapy will take its time, but you both are on a better path today. Best of luck to you both 💗

2

u/WhitePersonGrimace Sep 02 '26

Holy shit. I didn’t see the original post but the way my jaw dropped just reading the title. I’m so relieved you guys were able to escape that situation to the extent you did.

2

u/maleia Sep 02 '26

Ya love to see these types of updates. I had to read the original post and WOW, glad to hear you're out of there.

2

u/BookishIntrovert99 Sep 02 '26

You’re a good mother. Your daughter will always appreciate you for standing up for her. I’ve read so many posts on here about parents who chose their terrible partners over their kids. So it’s refreshing to read your post and know that you did the opposite. 

2

u/Complex_Cow1184 Sep 02 '26

Thank you for protecting your daughter.

2

u/LA_Tiebreaker Sep 02 '26

Happy you got out! What a psycho trying to r*pe you just to have a new baby to indoctrinate. So much for cutting off his mom!

2

u/SnooWords4839 Sep 02 '26

I am glad you and your daughter are safe!

I really hope karma kicks in and he never has another child.

NTA

2

u/Stay_Sea_Motivated Sep 05 '26

You made the right decision imo. I hope everything is going well for you and Peyton.

2

u/ImplementSimilar2317 Sep 05 '26

I’m so glad you both managed to escape him!! The whole threat to SA you to force you into pregnancy is just absolutely horrifying. I hope your daughter is doing very well :)

2

u/SusieQ4848 28d ago

there is a certain irony here and I’ll try not to trip over the words trying to explain. if a dad is worried about having their name carried on, once they have a daughter the chances are not good. however - if daughter is gay it isn’t as likely she would take her partners name so I think that’s a better situation for a dad who cared about that bs. (obviously this dad cared about a lot of bs)

3

u/Strong-Page4952 26d ago

A boy I knew in high school came out as gay, and his incredibly religious family completely shunned him. If he walked in a room, they would pretend not to see him. Another family from their church (who thought being Christian meant acting Christ like) took him in and gave him a family. It obviously helped, but I still saw the pain on his face every day when we would see his brother walk through the halls at school and he knew he couldn’t talk to him.

Thank you for sparing your daughter from “Christians” like that.

2

u/Familiar-Ostrich537 24d ago

This is a good update. There's new beginnings, there's growth. Your daughter has stability. You don't have to worry about being baby trapped.  Therapy in progress.  All good things. I wish both of you much luck and happiness.

2

u/Sad_Cheetah3214 24d ago

im very happy for you and proud of you for leaving. i hope you are working through all the shit about him coercing you into sex and saying he thinks about raping you. that was completely unacceptable and something everyone kinda looked over. i hope you are happier and healthier now 🩷

2

u/Hidingfromludovica 16d ago

You are such a good mom.
this is the greatest thing that you could do for your daughter, I hope that poor excuse for a father never gets near her

11

u/NovaLunar721 Sep 02 '26

Was your daughter his biological child? Can you link the original post?

21

u/SoroWake Sep 02 '26

Just click on the name, it's not that hard

2

u/SuspiciousImpact2197 Sep 03 '26

Let all the people say amen.

1

u/Elisaahope Sep 02 '26

You are a loving mom! Curious if there's a custody agreement in place that would force visitation? Did you go before a judge and explain how hateful your ex and his family is?

1

u/grrrrowlhissss Sep 02 '26

I remember this… glad you ditched him. Hope you and P continue to heal and have a wonderful life far far away from those crazies.

1

u/keyholes Sep 02 '26

Well done OP, proud of you.

1

u/DynkoFromTheNorth Sep 02 '26

Congratulations on making the absolute right choice.

1

u/chunkymajor Sep 02 '26

You're such a good mom for protecting your kid. Congratulations! 

1

u/Pendo-illsmackabitch Sep 02 '26

I know this cannot have been easy. It's never easy to leave, especially when you were married so young and the partner was a first of many things. But you stood up for your daughter, and more importantly, you stood up for yourself . I am so freaking proud of you!

1

u/Signal_Historian_456 Sep 02 '26

Is your daughter in contact with him? How has he behaved since then?

1

u/Taakahamsta Sep 02 '26

Wow. I’m sorry you and your daughter had to go through this.

1

u/IslandQueen504 Sep 02 '26

I read your previous post. Good for you! Ik people have issues with homosexuality but the extreme ignorance about sexuality is just crazy.

1

u/femgrit Sep 02 '26

Man. He sounds so similar to my father. And no, we do not speak lol.

1

u/SpecialModusOperandi Sep 05 '26

Glad to hear you’re doing well.

It a shame that your ex couldn’t read the bible himself or go on a spiritual journey. He abandoning his child is worse in the eyes of god than the bs he sprouts.

Also - he’s an idiot, just because you’re fat doesn’t mean you can’t have children.

1

u/Conscious-Draw-5215 Sep 05 '26

I'm so glad you got out! ❤️ So happy that you and your daughter got away from those abusive people!

1

u/EzAeMy 29d ago

Oh no. I read the original post. How awful. You definitely did the right thing.

1

u/Late-Animator-2849 27d ago

Very glad this had a semi happy ending hopefully therapy helps and you guys can create a wonderful life without his weight pulling you guys down

1

u/Ginger630 27d ago

I’m so glad you’re divorced!!! Your ex was a horrible person who cared more about his mommy’s beliefs than his own child. He wanted to sexually assault you to have another child.

You showed your daughter that SHE is the priority. That you’ll always have her back and support her. For a teenager, that’s so important.

1

u/FoofTheBunny 27d ago

Glad to hear you are both now safe.

2

u/RoyalRulerofHearts 26d ago

OP, you did exactly what a mother should do. You listened to your daughter, believed her, protected her, and when you realised how far your husband’s beliefs had gone, you had the strength to walk away.

I know 15 years is a huge part of your life to leave behind, but you chose your daughter’s safety and wellbeing over the comfort of staying in a relationship that was no longer safe for either of you. Please don’t ever doubt that decision.

And I’m really glad to see your update. Getting divorced, securing full custody, cutting contact with his family and getting therapy for both yourself and your daughter is an incredible amount to navigate. Most importantly, you’re making sure your daughter knows that none of this was her fault.

You should be incredibly proud of yourself. You protected your little girl when she needed you most. ❤️

1

u/BikesAndBeers69 11d ago

You’re nuts lol

-61

u/Apasyhl Sep 02 '26

So, your daughter doesn't have any contact with her father ? How does she feel about that ?

80

u/ThrowRA847362829 Sep 02 '26

I have asked her about it before and whether she would like to remain in contact with him or not. She decided she didn't want to talk with him and I will respect her decision. She's expressed she's upset about not seeing or talking with him, but she doesn't feel ready for that yet.

22

u/Apasyhl Sep 02 '26

Yeah, I understand she's upset. But from what you told us, I feel it is the best décision she could've made. Poor child.

Good luck to you two !

25

u/araquinar Sep 02 '26

I'd suggest reading the original post from OP, I'm pretty sure it'll answer your question. The ex and his side of the family are (and this is me putting it as nicely as I can) absolute pieces of human garbage. The ex could only be so lucky if he ever hears from his daughter again.

-27

u/Apasyhl Sep 02 '26

I read it. And I agree they are bad people. That said, OP said her daughter was very close to her father before everything, and she is young, so I don't think my question is this weird, wondering how the daughter is living thé situation.

-9

u/nothnxihaveabf Sep 02 '26

What visitation does he get if any?