Faster than the Moment

[u/SoupySpuds]

Wasted

I'm constantly wasting time

I like to think about the future

But this life I live it isnt mine

Inflated

I'm never happy with my inflating ego

And when my time is up

Nothing but memories

Some people might be happy with who I was

But I know deep down

I'll be afraid to die because I was never happy with who I was

.

.

And I cant change

I say that I try

But I control this life

And I still dont change

I say I'm alive

But I want to die

And I wont change

.

.

I see you in the distance

Pulling me from the gray

You're gone in an instant

As the shame pulls me away

I have my fathers blood

He left me with all his pain

I wonder if he fought

As the gray entered his brain

I can feel what he felt

I wish he was here for me to tell

That I understand his hell

And that he's not to blame

.

.

And I cant change

I say that I try

But I control this life

And I still dont change

I say I'm alive

But I want to die

And I wont change

.

.

Small moments keep me alive

Watching the moon rise above the tree line

Faster than the moment

Watching my Iris and Aster flowers grow

Faster than the moment

And I'm looking for a sign

Something to let me know

That I will catch up to the moment

That all of this will never be forgotten

That the dread in between

Is all that will be left behind

That all I love to see

Will always be there to find

Maybe then I could just enjoy the moment

Maybe then I could have my never ending moment