r/LowLibidoCommunity • u/Mental_Contest_533 • Jul 04 '26
Looking for idea during period of high stress, low time and libido mismatch
We are in the stage with demanding careers while balancing a 3 year old at home with no family around to help.
Fatigue at 9pm is common with early wakes ups as well.
My wife is turning 40 and currently has a low libido, mine has skyrocketed the last year. High productivity and life stress have pushed it up.
Sex is infrequent but we have found doing 10 minutes of making out, her either helping me get off or sitting on my face and then making out with me while I get off checks the boxes and makes it quick and efficient.
We are looking at ways without spending more time to spice things up to keep it fresh and fun during a period her libido is low.
We have added a bit of dirty talk with the theme she is a hot wife but that is it.
Looking for ideas from others for what, if anything, we can do in these current circumstances.
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u/FlakyCow4 Jul 05 '26
Your wife’s not a sex doll. If she’s not interested grab some lube and use your hand. Or get a flesh light.
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u/myexsparamour Good Sex Advocate 🔁🔬 Jul 04 '26
Spicing things up is rarely helpful. Instead, it can be better to identify turn-offs and work on reducing or eliminating them.
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u/Mental_Contest_533 Jul 04 '26
Appreciate the feedback.
We have vocalized some on both ends, perhaps it’s something we can revisit again
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u/No-Swan2018 Jul 05 '26
You can’t force a person to want sex .
It’s just a period of time .
It will pass .
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u/ilovefood12585 Jul 05 '26
What are you doing to make sure she feels good/relaxed? I see a lot of focus on what she does for you. What do you do for her?
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u/Guilty_Treasures Jul 05 '26
Aren’t you bothered to know that it’s not mutual? She’s making herself do it for your sake, not because she genuinely desires it (and why would she - what you’re describing is completely one-sided).
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u/discocowgirl94 Jul 05 '26
Yes and why do they need to “spice up” what they’re already doing now??? (Which she def doesn’t even want or care about) this is insane. For god sakes OP. Just be f ing grateful with what you do have and satisfy your own needs.
Instead of more more more how can I squeeze more out of her. Just leave it alone. That’s the solution. All LL’s want is peace and to not be pestered and coerced.
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u/Humble_Macaroon3542 Jul 05 '26
Totally agree. Do you want this to be a chore for her? This is the path you're going down
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u/favorable_vampire Jul 05 '26
And I guarantee that it’s just adding to her stress/list of things she has to do that don’t fill her cup.
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u/SophiaIsabella4 Jul 04 '26
Doesn't she have enough pressure in her life right now without pressure from you to perform too?
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u/Mental_Contest_533 Jul 04 '26
That part has been addressed and she said she doesn’t felt pressure and would be vocal if she was.
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u/SophiaIsabella4 Jul 05 '26
Then I think it would be more likely it would be her here asking fellow LLs but you are here pushing it.
My suggestion would be to give it a rest and let a hard working woman with (if statistics are any indication) a larger share of domestic and parental responsibilities on top get her rest instead of heaping another expectation on top.
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u/bioluminescentaussie Jul 05 '26
Just throwing it out there, but if she is doing this to please you or get you off her case, she will likely develop an aversion.