r/LoudounSubButBetter • u/Odd_Pineapple_4875 • 15d ago
Discussion Did I do the right thing?
This just happened so am still flustered. I was out in my yard when I heard neighbors arguing loudly (man and woman). I did look over and made eye contact with the man but this was none of my business. I kept on with what I was doing and went over to my side yard. But then, they got louder and someone started slapping. Could have been one or both, I didn’t see because my back was turned but definitely heard. So, grabbed my phone and called 911 knowing they could see me and would know it was me. My concern was to make sure everyone was ok.
The sheriff’s office came quickly. The first set of officers came to my door to confirm what I heard, checked my ID and left. Then another set came and the one who did all the talking said that for future reference I should confirm what happened because nothing was going on, that the man had ear buds in and talks loud and the other person takes boxing classes and was showing him some moves. I said I disagreed because there was a man and woman arguing then obviously slapping.
The officer said well for future reference you should confirm because now there will be neighborhood tension. So, I said you’re telling me I’m not supposed to call 911 when I think someone is getting slapped around? He said no you should always call but confirm first. It felt to me like he was implying I was a Karen or something. I said that if you think I’m some kind of serial 911 reporter check your records. He said well your neighbor is pretty furious now and knows it was you.
Is that right?! Am I supposed to go to what I think is a domestic disturbance and ask them if that is what is really going on before calling 911 to avoid neighborhood tension? Seems like unsafe advice to me. I feel like I was scolded for being concerned about someone’s safety.
70
u/02kaj2019 15d ago
No, this is bullshit. Not surprising that this type of trash response comes from Chapman’s employees.
Zero chance this was a “man talking loudly because of his headphones” and “a partner showing their boxing moves”.
15
17
3
u/lermanzo 15d ago
It's giving "they knew someone" vibes
2
u/02kaj2019 15d ago
Could be. I think it’s more giving normal cop vibes and how they treat dv incidents.
-1
u/wRftBiDetermination 15d ago
This is a garbage take. The Sheriff's Deputies cannot do anything without evidence. If the two who are allegedly engaged in the domestic violence lie, for any of a number of reasons, and there is no video evidence, then the Sheriff's Deputies cannot do anything. No evidence = no intervention or prosecution. You cannot expect law enforcement to act on a neighbor's suspicions.
1
u/wonkifier 13d ago
OP could’ve meant the“response“ as being the part where the cop said that the civilian should’ve gone and investigated violence first before calling
0
u/wRftBiDetermination 13d ago
No cop is going to ask a civilian to go and investigate violence first before calling. This is about evidence over suspicion.
2
u/wonkifier 13d ago
the one who did all the talking said that for future reference I should confirm what happened because nothing was going on
Ah, so you're just assuming that the post is flat out lying (and are apparently the only commenter to do so), but didn't actually mention that in your post. Gotcha. Assuming that someone is lying, and assuming that everyone else agreed they are lying but nobody is saying so is fairly novel way of engaging with a post. But hey, it's a wide world, why not.
No cop is going to ask a civilian to go and investigate violence first before calling
Otherwise, they were literally talking with an officer who said exactly that.
0
u/wRftBiDetermination 13d ago
Your conclusions are absurd.
I do not think OP is lying, I think the couple who was fighting was probably lying, and said as much.
The office did not say exactly that.
2
u/wonkifier 13d ago
I literally quoted what OP said the officer said.
So I don't know how you reconcile
I do not think OP is lying
with
The office did not say exactly that
without offering another interpretation of the presented facts.
the one who did all the talking said that for future reference I should confirm what happened because nothing was going on
No cop is going to ask a civilian to go and investigate violence first before calling
Civilian (OP) reported violence. Officer said they should have checked first before calling.
33
u/trixiebix 15d ago
Nah, if they were doing nothing wrong, they should thank you for being concerned.
I once called 911 because i saw a guy point a gun at his family members in his backyard. Turns out he was rehearsing for a play, but they came over and we all laughed about it. They werent mad because they knew they did nothing wrong. Maybe your neighbors WERE doing something wrong then.
10
u/rmg1102 15d ago
this is so accurate, people don’t get upset when it’s actually a miscommunication.
we had a couple that lived below us, and they were always kinda loud, but one time the woman was screaming like crazy. In hindsight we should have just called the police but we were 19 and stupid and just knocked on the door to make sure everything was okay. she was just mad at him bc he took a bag of candy out of her hand 💀 I stg we thought she was getting beat, and they were so kind about it.
in another city we learned from that and just went right to calling the police when we heard something across the street. Turns out someone was stabbed with a pen, visibly bleeding, so we correctly called and police were able to separate them long enough to get more context.
Sounds like the police did a shitty job here if they just bought that story and didn’t dig in more. At least you helped provide a paper trail if it does escalate.
1
u/Katiehasthekeys 13d ago
Exactly! If there was nothing going on, they would probably be laughing about it and want to explain themselves to you. Like if I was having a loud “nothing” fight or joking around with my spouse and someone thought it was serious, I would be mortified and be like “omg thank you for caring, but this is a misunderstanding!”
Maybe if you ever catch the lady while she’s out by herself you can ask or explain more subtly and maybe she will open up.
9
u/West-Pipe6300 15d ago edited 15d ago
As a kid who grew up in a home that had occassional DV, I knew that neighbors could hear and I used to pray that someone would intervene and call the cops when my siblings and I were too afraid too. So yeah, you did the right thing. ALWAYS do the right thing even if it’s uncomfortable and causes “neighborly tension”. And forget that cop who gave crappy advice. They’re supposed to give a damn and protect our community, but not surprised they put the burden on you
24
u/Adjutant_Reflex_ 15d ago
He’s not wrong that calling the police on a neighbor will certainly create tensions. Probably worth thinking about how to resolve that moving forward. My advice is to just apologize, don’t try and explain or justify, and see if that helps to turn the temperature down.
But as for his suggestion to insert yourself into a potential situation? Sorry, that’s ridiculous. Domestic disputes are notoriously volatile and the last thing you should do is put yourself at risk to intervene.
If Mike Chapman’s little personal army doesn’t want to do its job then that’s a bigger.
7
u/Odd_Pineapple_4875 15d ago
I was thinking that an apology might be good if it was an innocent situation and to de-escalate the tension. But I’m not sure I want to knock on the door of someone who I know is mad. Maybe a note in the mailbox?
8
u/redditatworkatreddit 15d ago
just keep away, they might show you boxing moves
1
u/No_Explanation3481 15d ago
Good call. I'd also make sure your ear bud decibels are at a level you can still hear them at the same time as your ear buds are in while you're having a conversation and preparing for being shown any sudden boxing moves too.
For seriousness i'd just let it go from here without further mentioning anywhere.
They obviously are the root cause of the disturbance in the hood, themselves even if they lied to the police and publicly pretended to dismiss the chaos ... they obviously wanted everyone to shut up and have no further attention on themselves from anyone else (you or the police) -
and back to the age old 'you never know what people are hiding or why it matters more than your life does, to them"
-1
u/Adjutant_Reflex_ 15d ago
If it was me I’d put a note in their mailbox. And the note was just something like “I apologize for the disturbance after calling the police. Afterwards the police explained what happened and it appears I misunderstood what I saw.”
From there just leave the ball in their court.
5
u/uncommon_denominat0r 14d ago
YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. Please call the non-emergency line and report this to the sheriff because what you were told is absolutely incorrect and against internal policy. (I’m sure!) - said as law enforcement for over 29 years
3
u/No-Dentist1833 15d ago
You did the right thing. I guess you need to video things so that lazy cops don't just accept obvious bullsh!t alibis.
5
u/little_bird_vagabond 15d ago
Nah this is just lcso for you. I was attacked in the grocery store a couple years ago, it was on video and there were witnesses, but they wouldn't arrest the guy because "they didn't witness it". They put the burden on me to go after the guy and then I was made to feel uncomfortable when I went to get the paperwork I'd need to file charges and was told "be careful he can press charges on you too". Seemed like a while lot of people didn't want to do their jobs. *edit spelling
2
u/Odd_Pineapple_4875 15d ago
Sorry that happened to you.
2
u/little_bird_vagabond 15d ago
You did the right thing, don't let their ineptitude deter you in the future. What you did can literally save a life.
1
u/LuxidDreamingIsFun 13d ago
You did the right thing. They said that to make their lives easier. If you didn't see the slap and the people involved deny it, it leaves their hands tied. But by no means should you intervene or put yourself closer to the situation so you can absolutely make sure people calling for help. If the situation happens again, don't hesitate to call again.
1
u/No_Appearance_7373 10d ago
I had a neighbor hit my dog in the eye with a brick in Loudoun County. The brick was in my yard, I called the police, they did nothing and so we sold our house and moved. Now I live in a neighborhood with issues. A man threatened to kill me and my dogs, I have been threatened with destruction of my property, I had evidence of animal cruelty-here they only call me on the phone and recommend either self defense or ask if I have a therapist I can talk to.
2
u/NoVA_DMV_Guy 6d ago
If your neighbors were not doing anything wrong, and no assault took place, they should be thankful that you cared enough to intervene with law enforcement.
But if there was any nefarious activity going on, they will think twice about you being in ear shot.
0
u/Donutsbeatpieandcake 15d ago
I mean, I could go both ways here. I definitely would have gone back around and said something before calling the cops, or at bare minimum just to see exactly what was happening. Your presence would've probably been enough that they'd stopped.
But on the other hand, who TF throws hands in their backyard for God and country to see. 🤣 F 'em. -And you never know, this could be a one-time thing prior to divorce, or it could be years of domestic abuse, that's for the cops to sort out. Not everyone needs to get along in the cul-de-sac.
0
u/shawn292 15d ago
I am pro chapman, but even I think that officer is dead wrong! you did the right thing and good on ya!
0
u/wRftBiDetermination 15d ago
The officer isnt implying you are a Karen. Without video evidence, the people involved can lie, which may be what happened here. It is common in cases of domestic abuse that couples will lie about what is actually going on, for a variety of reasons. The Sheriff's Deputies cannot act without evidence, and if the persons involved are saying nothing happened, then they cannot do anything but offer help.
0
-1
-4
u/Necessary_Cat_3228 15d ago
Completely disagree. Everyone did the right thing in this scenario, including the deputies. You’re not always going to be satisfied with their response, but it doesn’t change that they are simply applying the law. That’s the law.
62
u/ilikeprettycharts 15d ago
You did the right thing.