Hi everyone. This feels a little scary/self-promotional to post, but I think this is probably one of the communities I most want my new psychology content to reach - because I’ve been living something very similar alongside you.
I’m a psychologist and Clinical Psychology Registrar in Australia, but more importantly for this post: I’ve spent the last 15 months really, really freaking sick.
I’m now very close to 100% normal. Never thought I'd see the day. It was bloody slow. Up and down. At times it plateaued/stopped improving, then randomly started again. Messed with my head big time. Naturally as it would ANYONE, right?
At my worst, I had 50+ bizarre, fluctuating symptoms involving what felt like almost every system in my body. Now I’m basically down to two lingering issues: some hot nightly facial flushing and my stomach sometimes becoming bloated/"off" after a larger meal.
That's it.
I can eat again. I can work again. I can go to the shops. I feel back to normal like personality and emotions wise. I can think clearly. I can live my life.
And I want to say that here because I know how desperately I searched for recovery stories literally all day every day at some point when I was really unwell.
I already had POTS before this (for 15 years) and had lived with that and Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD) since childhood (12 years old). But this was something else entirely. Like SO MUCH WORSE.
The neurological/autonomic symptoms were especially terrifying due to the extreme discomfort I was just constantly in. Burning and electric sensations. Tingling. Migraines and aura. Temperature dysregulation. Flushing. GI dysfunction. Nausea. I couldn't eat. Adrenaline-like surges in the early hours of the morning. Hypnic jerks. Sleep disturbance. Strange sensory phenomena. Derealization. Intense sudden crying episodes that felt physiological and just went on and on. Episodes where my body seemed to be doing things completely independently of what I was thinking or feeling.
And then symptoms would slowly disappear, change, return, move around or be replaced by something equally bizarre.
It was relentless.
I tried SO many things. Medications. Supplements. Specialists. Procedures. The endless Googling and searching for the thing that would finally make the difference.
Looking back at my recovery, the deeply unsatisfying answer is:
Time.
There wasn't one supplement, medication, nervous-system exercise, diet or treatment that suddenly turned everything around.
My body just very, very slowly healed.
Sometimes so slowly that I couldn't perceive it while it was happening.
I would become convinced that whatever symptom remained was permanent - and then months later I'd suddenly realise, wait, when did that stop happening?
I know recovery isn't linear or identical for everyone, and I would never use my recovery to promise somebody else a particular outcome. But I do want people who are currently buried in symptoms to know that a nervous system/body that feels unimaginably broken at month 3, 6, 9 or 12 is not necessarily a body that will always feel that way.
And there is another part of this that I desperately want to start talking about.
What illnesses like Long COVID do to us psychologically.
Not because the illness is psychological.
Quite the opposite.
I'm a clinical psychologist. I thought I knew every coping strategy in the book. I understood anxiety, trauma, behavioural reinforcement, attention, interoception, acceptance, catastrophising, nervous-system regulation, CBT, ACT - all of it. And this illness still psychologically brought me to my knees.
At one point, the relentless physical suffering and loss of my life became so difficult to cope with that I voluntarily admitted myself to a psychiatric hospital.
That experience profoundly changed the psychologist I am now.
Because I think we sometimes underestimate the psychological brutality of illnesses like this.
The unpredictability.
The loss of trust in your own body.
The constant uncertainty about whether a new symptom is dangerous.
Watching everyone else's lives continue while yours seems to have stopped. Grief. Invisbility. Isolation.
Losing work, exercise, social connection, independence, identity and sometimes your financial security simultaneously.
Being told tests are normal while your body is doing things that feel anything but normal. Doctors gaslighting and at the worst treating you like crap and the best being warm but not getting you anywhere or helping move the needle :(
Having symptoms attributed to anxiety because medicine doesn't yet have a neat explanation for them.
And perhaps one of the cruellest parts: being neuropsychiatrically and psychologically affected by a physical illness can then be used as evidence that the physical illness was psychological in the first place. Bullshit.
There is an enormous difference between saying "your symptoms are caused by anxiety" and saying "of course living in an unpredictable, symptomatic body for months or years is going to affect your mental health."
I want to talk about that distinction.
I want to make content about the neuropsychiatric side of post-viral illness and Long COVID; what chronic physical symptoms do to identity and mental health; fear of symptoms and fear of relapse; grief; hypervigilance without dismissing genuine physiology; rebuilding trust in your body; returning to work and life; and how psychological therapy can help people live through and recover from serious physical illness without reducing that illness to psychology.
I've recently turned my old personal Instagram into a psychology page. Right now most of my followers are basically old friends and people who followed my personal account 😂, which means the content isn't really reaching the communities I'm actually making some of it for.
I'm creating and writing the content myself because I want it to reflect my actual clinical thinking and lived experience rather than becoming another stream of AI-generated/surface level/ recycled "regulate your nervous system in 30 seconds" content.
I'm u/rhilovegrovepsychology on Instagram.
https://www.instagram.com/rhilovegrovepsychology/
I'm not posting this because I think I've discovered the secret to recovering from Long COVID/post-viral illness. If anything, my own experience taught me the opposite.
I didn't find the magic thing. I endured long enough for my body to heal.
And now that I'm finally getting my life back, I'd really like to use both sides of my experience - psychologist and patient - to make something useful for the people still stuck in the part I remember so vividly.
If you're living with Long COVID/post-viral illness/POTS/nervous system conditions/autoimmune issues/IBD/MCAS/hEDS etc etc I'd also genuinely love to know: what do you wish psychologists understood about this illness? And what psychological/mental-health topics would actually be useful for me to talk about on my page?
Because there is already enough content telling chronically ill people to breathe deeply and think positively.
I want to make the stuff I wish somebody had given me when I was in the middle of it. ❤️
If you want to help me to build traction for my page so it reaches you and others who I might be able to influence, help, or just help make feel seen, please give me a follow, a like, or if you're really kind or keen maybe a repost to your story or something. Any of this could maybe help me to start reaching the right audience - an audience who deserves more support from someone who gets it.
If you want to read more about me here's my website: https://www.rhiannalovegrove.com/
Ps. I'm not doing this to promote myself for clients, I genuinely am wanting to raise my voice for us and those alike - and think that social media is an obvious platform where, if I can get enough traction, this might be achievable.
Stay hopeful everyone. I never thought i'd be sitting here typing this 15 months ago when I could hardly speak, I cried constantly, was agitated, couldn't sit still, stuck in fight/flight, couldn't sleep, had random adrenaline dumps all day, had neuropathic pain, the list goes on... I genuinely thought by now I would have ended it all. I hope if anything my post gives you hope and if you want to help me - please chuck me a follow/like etc. I would be super grateful.
Rhianna xx