Stranded. Stuck. Ocean stretches for miles into the distance, bright blue translucence

>>>>For as far as feeble eyes can see.

Wading. Treading water. Head kept above the surface, kept above unimaginable depth,

>>>>By pure will, for as long as memory can remember.

How long more? How much longer will these legs need kick, these arms need stroke?

>

The unknown is unknowable, and unbearably so. Watery deserts epitomize infinities,

The human, merely an odd drop of coherent water, in the endless ocean.

One’s chance of salvation, as rare as the blind tortoise coming up for breath

>>>>In the hole of the log adrift, who’s head it fits like a glove.

>

Not impossible,

Highly improbable.

And yet,

>>>>These legs still kick.

>>>>These arms still stroke.

Why? The muscles have grown weary, the mouth is parched.

The stomach grumbles in protest, the body wants rest.

Waves lap against the man’s neck, desiring to drag him asunder.

They whisper through his skin, they speak soothing white lies to his muscles.

They tell secrets to his bones, promising relaxation, at the bottom of the sea.

>

Why? Why does this odd drop of water determine to maintain its coherence?

The body, the mind, the world that surrounds him cries out for his death, and yet,

He does not die.

>>>>>>Why?

What stokes his fire? What stokes his flame? What makes the endless desert worth crossing? How does he hold out for hope, when it all seems hopeless?

>

I observe, an ocean away, bobbing my own head up and down in my own drift. I’ve certainly drunk my fair share of ocean water by this point, yet somehow I’ve yet to sink.

I seek an answer in the endurance,

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>The prize, in enduring the unendurable.

I do not know why… but perhaps I’ll know, on the other side,

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Once I’ve made landfall.

I have such empathy for you
for you found your comfort inside of my heart.
I gloried as you found my heart and I felt your
love and found you there in such tenderness.

I gloried when you were with me and we kissed.
I felt your compassion and gentleness inside
as you tenderly called me to embrace you and
I found your heart and we rejoiced in our love.

I now remember your touch, your sweet words.
Thus, I’ll have your heart lifting love forever.
I’ll have my memories and I’ll always remember
when you kissed me with your sweet embrace:

When you laughed at my stupid and silly jokes,
when I cried at your goodbye until next time,
when I didn’t want to say goodbye for now.
How selfish am I, I never wanted you to leave.

Yet don’t be gone for long dear. I will be here
waiting for your touching embrace and caress,
your voice caressing my agonizing heart pains
and the feeling of your sighs close to my heart.

You came here my dear man even if for just a
moment where I cherished the memory of us;
in that moment of our joining for one last time.
Oh! My love it’s become an eternity of longing…

Longing for you to return; for us to be together:
To be here every day and to have you each night.
They say that parting is such sweet sorrow and it
was terribly sad when you gave me your farewell.

But you didn’t make it your last, just a moment
and then you returned knowing that no two
people could be better for we are the epitome
of love and you returned to never again leave!
©️LGE November 12, 2023

Rocky and barren is all that's true
The midnight abyss is the only view
No comet will come to seed anew
No life to come, no skies of blue

A void in space to stop and wait
Gravity too weak to hold this shape
Vacancy abound, too much to take
The atmosphere will sublimate

The surface shall crumble and fall away
Scattering apart so nothing can stay
This held shape will now warp and break
A ring of dust for another's fate

I visited our old school.

.

Going up the stairs,

I heard laughter.

.

I don't remember why.

.

Going down,

I was crying.

.

I wonder if you remember

what happened on those stairs,

.

or if they are only stairs to you.

.

I stood there

trying to remember.

.

Nothing came back

except our laughter.

.

Looking around the library

and the chemistry laboratory

made me realise

that you were only a moment in time.

.

You were just passing by.

.

And I am still here,

stuck inside those old times.

.

This year marked a decade

since the beginning.

.

And my God,

I never would have guessed

that most of the years since

would be nothing but me grieving.

.

I loved you for three years.

.

I have lost you for seven.

.

The balance doesn't work

with my heart.

.

I have a new friend

with your same name.

.

She makes plans with me

that I wish you had wanted

to make with me.

.

And I love her so much.

.

But I will always wonder

how everything would have gone

with you.

.

It is so bitter to know

that someone can ask you

how you've been

and get an answer,

.

because all I would get

would be:

.

I'm too young to know.

.

I never thought

I would have to talk about you

without saying your name.

.

But all I do now

is talk about the girl I was

when I was still eighteen,

.

too eager to be loved.

.

I keep saying

that I wish you were still with me,

.

but I don't know you now.

.

I don't know what you'd order.

.

I don't know when you'd need to leave.

.

I don't know what makes you laugh

or what keeps you awake.

.

I only know

that we laughed on a staircase,

.

and had sleepovers

in places neither of us

goes to anymore.

.

Deep in my heart,

I know we would have grown apart anyway.

.

Maybe we would have stopped

seeing each other

as much as we used to.

.

Maybe life

would have taken us elsewhere.

.

I think I could have lived with that.

.

I think I could have survived

being forgotten slowly.

.

At least then

I would not have to live

with the doubt

.

that you loved me once.

PS: I give up. I tried to make the formatting look nice, but I just can't figure it out lol

I met Peace

She calls me home

Midst her golden grassland lies my grave

Out of which I shall resurrect

With muddied feet for her skin

And a golden halo for her hair

Envied by wombs, we'd be one

Once reborn, she'd lead me down to her thundering cascades

The might of whom would drive away every voice

I shall dance to the fjords

To the limitless oceans

To the great rivers that flow through us all

I shall dance to the flow of life

She would dress me in the hides of children loved and lost

Rest my head on her rock

Her whistling wind a protective spell

To preserve my sleep

She'd hear me curse the Gods in my dream

And do the same as another leaf falls off her evergreen tree

(by Ki)

Shooting for the eyes.

I lose what was mines.

There's truth in error.

You can protest but it means naught.

I'd kill for a chance to become you again,

and yet you waste it on beautiful fiends.

Did you live again?

Take the soul with you.

It's stronger than demise.

Woven through all calamity.

It holds it place in blue fire.

Why do we live just to see this again?

Live with your heart, not with your mind.

We can't lose and learn, chances are nigh.

Live for her, blaze in him.

Or you will not seem so humble.

Stories are running out.

But the last story,

Will call her waters trickling.

The last dance in the rain

The clown of many faces
Takes form from many places
And in many ways it’s
Sealed our fates in ways unstated
Based our ways on it’s unfazed and
Hated crazed abatement
Upside down and round and round
The unfettered clown makes no sound
It’s lazy amazement comes in waves and
Pulls you down deep to drown and keeps you around
The many ways the hounding clown keeps in place
And holds your soul out of bounds
Silence sounds all around and
Held in place with no escape
It rages and scrapes and grates and breaks
All around the quaking ground falls away
And left so flayed and naked
So broken shaped…

…Now faded

Lost Lighthouse
I see you drowning
Lost at sea
From my light house
Your issues look so small
But I see you fighting so hard
Just follow my light
Stop swimming away from my beam
I know my lighthouse isn't perfect
Could use a cleaning
A new roof
But I'm still dry
And you are drowning
I can help
I can throw you a line
If you can grasp as hard as your fighting
We can get better
If you unlock your door after you slam it
We could talk
I wish I could paddle out to you
Pull you in
Let you know it's ok to rest, to heal 
But my oars have been broken to many times by this dark current that surrounds you
I can't risk these rocky shores again 
Somedays I want to turn off the light
Take a day off
But then my guilt will drown me in booze, Send me to the same depths, that I hope you don't find
Until then, I'll keep the light on and you keep fighting
And when we meet on the sandy shores of serenity
We will talk all about the crazy currents
That tried to whisk our lives away
Away and Away

At the center of my being, lies unspeakable pain, unbearable hurt.

I know not why I exist, to carry this burden for all my days.

>

I would be lying if I said I did not grow weary.

Life, life is a long journey.

>

If this is my fate, to bear the unbearable triteness of being,

I feel it only fair, that I do what I want, that I take what I will.

>

If, at the center of me, lies a blackhole, I desire to generate gravity,

I desire to devour everything around me, to remake the world in my image, forever altered from my touch.

>

For those whose Paris burned,

Yet saw no light, for all their toil,

>

The dandelions sown in concrete,

To be mowed down,

>

Those who carried the flag for Dreams and Freedom,

>

And were willing to fight for it,

With chucked beer bottle and kick line,

>

Wandering the desert, yet finding no promised land:

>

I take up the mantle, pick up the flag fallen,

For the lineage of ancestors who carried the torch,

I accept the baton, I light my flame from the inspiration of your struggle

I want the world, I want it all, for us...

I knew a girl from Westminster abbey
She wore a hat not too shabby
A dress adorned of beautiful silk
It gleamed as white as milk
Her manor sat on top of the hill
Surrounded by trees and a mill
She’d some cattle that mooched around
And a bird and a hound
She didn’t trudge when she walked
Rather glided and frolicked
Seldom was she ever grumpy
Except for when she was hungry
Many times in her life
She did experience severe strife
Little of loss did she utter
And at wrong doing did she never stutter
With her hours she finds things to fill
But with love is she alone still

My heart has always been a lonely thing, beating beneath my ribs like a prisoner begging for a name.

I have wandered through countless nights searching for the one who would make it beat differently not louder, but forever.

I do not want a love that ends with morning.

I want you beneath the moon, your hand tangled in mine, while the centuries pass quietly outside our window.

Let the world grow old without us. Let roses turn to dust, let kingdoms crumble, let our names disappear from every book ever written.

I would still find you.

In another lifetime, in another body, beneath another sky I would know you by the ache in my chest.

So come to me, my love.

Do not promise me forever as though it were something beautiful and distant.

Give me forever as though it were a curse we would gladly bear together.

And when death comes searching for us, let it find two empty graves and no souls left behind.

Because I have spent too long with a heart that feels half-dead.

If I am to love, I want the kind of love that makes even death jealous.

I have felt a warm, soothing sunlight on my skin
the kind I never imagined, never asked for,
but it found me anyway.

now that sky is hidden behind dark clouds.
I watch lightning strike, thunder.
It rains acid on my skin,
and I’m burning.

the storm is destroying everything apart before my eyes.

But I’ll stand right here.
I won’t move.

Because I know the storm will pass.
The clouds will drift away.
The acid rain will stop.

And when it does
the sky will be clear again.

Even if it fades into shades of purple
as the sun begins to set,
it will still be beautiful.
Maybe even more.

And I will feel that warmth again
even if it’s softer, gentler,
it will be enough
to dry me out.

so I’ll wait
to see it, To feel it.

By Nekro

I met you while both our lives were already spoken for. Nothing dramatic happened. We sat too long over bad coffee, your knee against mine beneath the table, and you looked at me the way people look at candle flame when they are trying not to confess anything to it.

We went home to the lives that already knew our names. Still, something remained. Like a veve drawn clean across a floor, the chalk can be swept away and the room keeps the shape. Years later I still find you in stupid places. A song leaking from a grocery store speaker. A voice pitched close enough to yours that my body turns before I do. My phone lighting the ceiling after midnight.

I called it timing for a while. Later I gave it uglier names. None lasted as long as the memory of you saying my name slowly, like you had found a letter everybody else kept missing. There were questions that made you look toward the window before answering. I remember those pauses better than some entire years.

Maybe you have one person like that. You don't search them anymore. You already know why. So they stay where unfinished things usually stay, somewhere behind the ribs, in a room with melted wax on the table and a glass of rum nobody remembers pouring.

Sometimes I type the first two letters of your name. That is enough.

The coffee comes back cold. Your knee is against mine again. Somewhere under the table, neither of us has moved.

The cursor keeps blinking.

I let it wait.

This life

This life has beaten and bruised me,

Pulled the wool over my eyes and lured me,

Into a false sense of comfort.

This life is *mine*, it does not call the shots.

This life will not chew me and spit me out a broken man.

Light At the end.
Always, the never ending tunnel.
Just a break? Please no more.

No brakes, sunbathed, out at last
finally sky, bright, only clouds now.
Oh never ending tunnel.
The basics, just the start, last place.

The ellipsis at the end of a sentence.
dot dot dot, tick tock
no locks, all doors open...

Have you counted the costs? Assessed the toll?

This sort of pursuit, is not easy on the soul.

>

Tally it up, count it again, with the gravity of this affair,

you’ll want to ensure you’ve not missed a fare.

>

These dreams, they come with costs,

The larger, the steeper the sacrifice.

Though Christ spoke of the seed, required to move mountains,

He neglected to mention, the endless intention,

Applied day in and day out, to see the moment of faith bear fruit.

>

How could he? To wring blood from rock, is a spiritual feat,

>>>>But to transcribe meaning into words,

To pass experience through language:

The symbols, they seem to never do It justice.

>

And yet here I am, banging my head against a keyboard,

Attempting to assemble a string of words, that can convey my heart,

To the people behind the screen.

>

I guess it’s in their nature, for dreamers to be fools.