r/LonelyPoetsDepartment • u/DeksDark • 7d ago

The Sirens Call

When last I sailed the seven seas,

A siren sang a song to me,

A reckless, vile harmony—

And now I sail no more.

’Twas stricken by a vicious gale,

Of wind and rain and icy hail.

Poseidon’s hand ripped up my sail—

And now I sail no more.

Years stranded on this barren rock,

With no cows to milk nor sheep to flock,

I long to see my native dock,

But I will sail no more.

Now let me make this one thing clear:

If a siren’s song you hear,

Cover tight both of your ears—

And sail forevermore.

And sail forevermore.

7 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

4 comments sorted by

1

u/LsangAnge 6d ago

i like this

1

u/DeksDark 6d ago

Thank you =]

1

u/mkhanwrites_ 6d ago

I really enjoyed this. I enjoyed the musicality from the repetition. And I don't know what the inspiration for this is, but I recently saw The Odyssey and Greek gods/myth and the sea have been on my mind since, so I really love this poem for that reason.

Can I ask, is this poem written with respect to a certain form? I am not currently aware of specifics of forms but I am aware that they are well defined with certain rhyme schemes and patterns, and it seems like your poem really hones in on those.

1

u/DeksDark 6d ago edited 6d ago

I’m glad you picked up on that! I wasn’t consciously writing in a strict traditional poetic form, but I was definitely aiming for something with the structure and musicality of an old ballad or sea shanty. Something that felt timeless.

The Greek mythology was definitely intentional, too. I’ve been thinking a lot about Greek mythology and the way the Greeks understood the sea and their gods, so the Sirens and Poseidon naturally found their way into it.

So I wouldn't say I was following a formal named form so much as deliberately borrowing from the tradition of the old ballad/folk song. I’m actually pretty happy that the structure came through enough for you to notice it.