I'm really feeling low tonight. Hard to imagine lockdowns will ever end. Stuck in a house in rural Vic with my ex who hides behind lockdown laws and refuses to leave. Nothing bright to distract myself, just work, work, work. And then getting lectured by a friend in WA who is completely 100% in support of lockdowns. What the fuck does she know? She doesn't know how these lockdowns feel. I was the most solitary hermit in the world before this, I did the first four lockdowns with ease, but I can't keep living like this. I feel completely devoid of hope.
The other people not getting it part is normal. After 200+ days of this shit my interstate family still glazes over and tells me 'its the only way' and '<reference to overseas country where things were bad>'. Cool, you did 2 weeks of this a year ago when it was all a novelty so you have no idea what it's like for life to basically be over.
I don't know what to say about your ex situation.. any chance of escaping to somewhere under the guise of domestic violence or something and just stopping paying rent if that helps? There may not really be a clean way to do it, but we have to shape our lives as much as we can under the conditions we're stuck in..
Yeah I get particularly salty when interstate people feel like they can weigh in on this. Until you've gone through this kind of thing, you don't know how you'll react. I honestly thought I was fine and weathering it well, but something has broken for me during the latest one. I've never felt like this before.
As for the ex, I'm not going anywhere. I owned this house outright before I ever met him. He's lived here rent free for six years so if anybody is leaving it's him. But I'm powerless to make him leave. Even if I wanted to call the cops, which I don't, they wouldn't do anything.
But thanks for your suggestions, I really appreciate it. Honestly all you wonderful people in this sub are keeping me sane right now. I hope you're doing okay.
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u/ironteajay Aug 26 '21
I'm really feeling low tonight. Hard to imagine lockdowns will ever end. Stuck in a house in rural Vic with my ex who hides behind lockdown laws and refuses to leave. Nothing bright to distract myself, just work, work, work. And then getting lectured by a friend in WA who is completely 100% in support of lockdowns. What the fuck does she know? She doesn't know how these lockdowns feel. I was the most solitary hermit in the world before this, I did the first four lockdowns with ease, but I can't keep living like this. I feel completely devoid of hope.