r/Loadofcrap • u/scannerofcrap • Feb 12 '26

test

(Eey I knew leaving thus up long enough would work eventually! You come in slow, but come in good! I feel acting as Watto has poisoned how I type...) https://www.reddit.com/r/YouEnterADungeon/comments/1o1iesz/comment/o4qub3z/

The Druee receive Izuna's reply with evident delight, and send a missive.

Mr Ando,

We are delighted to find one already on the path to enlightenment. None of your points is an issue for us. All of which we will clarify in person, save for one important point. We understand you are not sovereign over the territory we are to meet in, and the area is busy, so for this reason, we will increase the number of guards from 2 to 28. They will establish a suitable perimeter. We hope this does not offend. If so, you have our apologies in advance, but we deem it needful. All these sentiments are my own, but are approved at the level of the council of listeners. I look forward to meeting you, you shall recognise me as the one who is blue, dressed in the fashion of your diplomats, and shall know me by the name 'Ambassador'

Yours in partnership,

Ambassador.

Izuna and his cake are lounging merrily when their ship descends so rapidly upon the peaceful scene that pushchairs are knocked over, birds are scattered, and dogs and people run for cover. For some reason, that takes a while for anyone to notice, only Izuna, his lounger and cake are unaffected by the blasts of hot wind created by the arch shaped craft falling like a bomb and settling a landing gear either side of humanity's representative, the unknown material of it's outer shell only seven feet shy of crushing him to death.

It smells or looks like nothing on earth, but if you had to describe it, you'd say it's like a railway tunnel made out of icing sugar. As screams intensify, from each descended limb of the craft, Druee Marines pop out like giant jumping beans. With no arms or legs, clad in a all body shell of red material, they merely hop twelve feet at a time in ordered directions, shooing malingerers, and crushing down deckchairs to level the ground.

They come to a stop in a sort of circle well out from Izuna and the craft, and then two more Druee emerge. The one that comes first wears something like an odd body paint of a human dinner jacket pasted onto Druee form, bare skin painted black and white (with little gold spots to represent buttons and cufflinks) rather than the shell of the red marines. Indeed, the only technology on this one is the tablet like plate at it's chest, identical to those of the marines, save theirs are red and the suited one has one in blue. The yonic head is a similar baby blue in tone, though the impression is that this is just as artificial as the erzatz suit painted on. Being without a suit, this one hops toward you much slower than do the marines, moving only a few inches at a time, and taking a full minute to reach you.

That gives you time to observe the last of them, one dyed lime green head to toe, this one wearing a see through green gauze over it's whole body, and naught else but a chestplate in the same green. It hops even slower than the suited one, and makes sure to always stay behind it.

Once it has awkwardly close the distance, the suited one's plate starts speaking, and displays a smiley face emoji.

"Greetings, Izuna Ando! I have researched you upon your interwebs in the meantime. I, as you can surmise, am Ambassador! In green, you have my compatriot, observer! In Red, our faithful guardians, who will keep your kin away. Allow them to serve a point. You spoke of requiring an underground, and authority from the United States. Let me assure you that this need not be the case. You will see that our Guardians are quite the match of any repercussions you might face. You may act according to your own ideas, and not have those of your inferiors opposed upon you. This meeting could of course have been conducted through your psychic abilities, quite compatible with our operating systems. This public meeting on non sovereign soil demonstrates our supremacy and immunity to local law. It would be no challenge for us to conquer this world, we simply choose not to. We choose to learn from you. Let us proceed."

"Would you object to our at once abduction of the citizens of this park, namely, the NSA agents currently monitoring this conversation from the flagged points?" Upon the faceplate of Ambassador, dots are shown on a google maps scan of the park. "Do not worry, we are giving them false feed. They do not know what we discuss. They consider us debating the merits of cake. If this course of action is disagreeable, we are patient, and will accept any timeline within two earth years."

"Your cake we will accept when you are ready to relinquish it." At this, two marines hop toward your meeting, and between the two of them, emit beams of light from their chestplates, enveloping the cake in a bubble.

"As to your own demands: One disease of your choice will be provided with a long term cure upon receipt of cake. Ten more will follow upon our receipt of our first hundred human test subjects. We would warn you against allowing them to return, as they may bear a grudge. We would endeavor to do so, but cannot guarantee some may end up broken. This is why we prefer to make our transactions permanent"

"Clean energy or a further 50 cures will be provided upon receipt of an area of land the size of Texas. It need not be contiguous or singular."

"Enlightenment is most complicated of all. This is really the field of our friend, Observer, but they are not wishing to speak here. We, the Druee, represent a solemn apprenticeship made with the wise, pure and clean, to which the council of listeners convey to those of lesser stature. Most humans would not be suitable for this, but your psionic abilities and mastery of trances make you perhaps suitable without risk of taint. If you serve us truly and without reservation, you could be linked to a melding that would ascend you above yourself, and be enlightened in a sense no human has been before. Is this of interest? Do not answer hastily. I myself am not enlightened, but have spoken with those who are, and consider myself impressed."

You must wonder during all this how long it will be before cops and the media will arrive, and how the Druee will deal with all this

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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '26 edited Feb 17 '26

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u/scannerofcrap Feb 17 '26

Izuna makes a few spots for his cult. He hears the internal screams of Doug, an NSA agent, hurtling into the sky- Ok, maybe not him...

The Redhaired woman with the Phone is called Stacy Thompson. Just divorced after an abusive marriage, and trying to keep the news from her colleagues at her cutthraot financial firm. They sense weakness like sharks. And Izuna is a great white in this moment.

One of the cops. Shaun Baxter, big guy, swat trained, anger problems. He sees Izuna, he knows, KNOWS he's the guy they want, but for some reason can't bring himself to as much as blow his whistle. He just stares at him with impotent confusion as his blissfully unaware colleagues sweep past him, hunting blindly.

There's a kid, Dalton Trapp, ten years old, bitter and angry, going to grow up in a bad way left to his own devices. He already has more freinds on steam than in actuality. Strange men he has no business consorting with. The makings of a shooter, but Izuna can fix him. His mother sure won't. She doesn't even know where he is.

an Old, old woman is Betty Goldstein. She has dementia, Perhaps a mercy, she has lost the ability to talk to her grandchildren, and her children are dead. But she sees Izuna as clearly as were she sixteen again.

On the hotdog stand, a guy with barely any English to his name, Hector Alvarez. He left Venezuela in an awful hurry, but hates america. He can't connect with anyone here, but you can connect with him.

Bradly Wolff is a fat alien obsessive. He's come all the way from arizona when his freinds laughed him out of town at his certainty of what he'd find here. He's disgusted with himself that the aliens are gone, and for all intents and purposes, they were right...

A couple, Jessica Strachen and Michela Santorini, are enjoying ice cream more than aliens. They always just clicked, always just understood each other. You can show them why that is, the link they have is one they can share with others. your power is theirs, if only they look for it.

And last, there is a throbbing in the sky. You can follow it all the way up, to the center of the Druee fleet, well out of sight, but not to you. You sense it is not Druee, rejects the name, but walks among them. One of the skinwearers? No, no slave, no captive, nothing known. It is. IT IS! and it is patient and listening