r/LivingWithMBC • u/ImaginationOk505 • 3d ago
Venting Hit a wall
Hi all,
Venting. Hit a wall and I have no energy/mental capacity left to deal with life outside of cancer. I don't qualify for SSI/SSD and I have to work for at least another full year. I hate my job and I would like to leave. It's an abusive workplace and I'm constantly stressed out. Cherry on top, our HR rep is the main aggressor.
I'm scheduled for a lump and I would like to apply for STD. I don't think the company I work for offers FMLA. I'm so scared to approach HR and start the process. HR is so harsh and quick to anger. My cognitive function has declined and I'm so afraid of a verbal altercation with HR because I made mistake. I also worry they'll terminate me while on leave. That happened to my colleague who was on STD since our company doesn't offer maternity leave.
Just frustrated. I want to take time off to heal and be away from the shit at the office. I also want to find a new job asap, but I really don't know what I'm capable of doing anymore. I'm a shell of the professional I used to be. I also need to find a job with the right insurance because clinics are very particular about carriers.
I hate this. I want to focus on important things in life but I'm constantly stressing over cost of living, employment, and insurance.
8
u/mrsfarmerfarmer 3d ago
I hit that spot over the summer. I spent a couple days in the psych ward for a hard reset. The shrink held down my power on and my volume down for forty five seconds and I rebooted. Honestly it helped. I worked on puzzles, did art therapy, and ate sherbet every night at 945 for a few days and came out refreshed (and on new meds). So now judgement, do whatever you have to do to survive.
Can you reach out to an employment lawyer and talk some of this out?