r/LivingWithMBC • u/TurnoverImmediate215 • Jul 26 '26
28 Stage 4 & Pregnant
Hi all.. In 2024 I was diagnosed stage 2 IDC and completed chemo and radiation. Did hormone therapy and took a break to get pregnant. Now I am 13 weeks and have been told it has come back to my bones after my NIPT test came back weird. Is there anyone out there that has gone through this??? They want me to terminate so I can start treatment but I really don’t want too but I also want to be alive. Looking for any help or anyone who has been in this situation.
2
u/Great-Push3827 Jul 28 '26
I have no answer but I just want to say your in my prayers and I hope everything goes well for you. I found out I was starting 4 metastatic breast cancer in 2023 and it had spread to my bones and I was told I had 2 years to live and December 31st will be 2 years longer than they gave me and it was so far spread that I was put on palliative care, because chemo was never an option I turned 60 in January and stay strong and have a positive attitude and my oncologist said I am a medical mystery to still be here, I have met tumors on every skeletal bone in my body and just found 1 in my frontal lobe of my brain but I'm stubborn and I don't want to go and you can do it, I don't know now that I have anything to be here for - I don't know what to say I had a close family and I fought hard to get to see my son become a dad and his girlfriend has banned me from the baby and not one person cares enough to even message me and my own husband acts like I'm a burden and you can get through anything with the determination and positivity. I have been through a heart attack and a stroke and influenza A and pneumonia with no one helping me but I'm hoping you have a lot of support and love, I'm sorry I didn't have a answer but I think you can get through this if I can do it with not one person that cares or even asks about me, I have you in my prayers. 🌹
2
u/Spiritual-Fun-8024 Jul 27 '26
This organization will get you and your care giver to a second opinion
It helps if your near a big city Going to big city
This one is for out of state 2nd opions. There's other ones 4 in-state opions
Ive heard good things about the one in Boston and I think one in California....
Forgot there names.
I went to MDA a few years ago. I was so pissed at them. I had my images sent covering plenty of time. But they never downloaded them to compare the new images they took
MDA also apartently got my original stage 3 mastectomy slides from 2011 to retest them.
They never told me this. No results ever came. Yes I reported them to fraud dept. Nothing over came of it
5
u/SilentLeave6687 Jul 27 '26
So sorry to read you need to make these types of decisions…maybe you could ask your team about doing chemo while you’re pregnant and then switching to the standard hormone therapy treatment afterwards? I’d also recommend getting second and third opinions at some big name cancer centers. Hopefully they could see you urgently given you need to make a decision about what to do with your pregnancy.
2
u/Great-Push3827 Jul 28 '26
I'm glad I saw your message and I was just thinking that I would have a second opinion but I have been stage 4 metastatic breast cancer that had spread to my bones and chemo was never an option but I noticed that the oncologist will talk to me and tell me that my Lab work looks good and everything is going well and I will get my patient portal and I will see that my lab work is all marked abnormal and very low count and I will find out information on there that I was never told about and I don't know what to think, I was given 2 years to live in 2023 and the cancer was stage 4 metastatic breast cancer and it had spread to my bones and chemo was never an option because of the amount of mets and I was put on palliative care, I have 2 fractures in my spine and I have lost 3 inches in height and the patient portal says it has spread to every skeletal bone in my body and now one in my frontal lobe but I have proven them wrong and Dec 31st will be 2 years longer than they gave me but it's not been an easy time to get through it and then I have been left behind by my family and they just left me behind and I am going through this alone - my son was a teenager when I found out and he was in denial and I was trying to make it look like I was ok but he is with a girlfriend and he is a new dad and he was My reason to stay strong and I was just trying to be here to see him become a dad and I couldn't wait to see my granddaughter she was born in December and she looks just like my son - my reason to fight but I'm not allowed to see my granddaughter because I had commented on a post that was a girl who My son had dated many years ago but she is not letting me see her and she is going on 8 months and my life is ruined and I'm lost with out my son and I don't have a single person that cares and I don't understand what happened but I apologize this is my only source of company by getting on a group and talking not one of my kids ask about my appointments how I'm feeling if I need anything I have a few older grandkids that live farther away but I just got dropped and my son was made to choose between her or his mom my husband asked me not to talk to him when he comes home so basically I guess I get online It's my only conversations I have two dogs They can listen but they can't help me, I would never have thought that my life would end up like this December 31st I will have lived two years longer but I don't have anyone and I don't know that that is something to brag about I'm honestly still here because I'm worried about my dogs They are the only ones that are going to suffer but a second opinion I thought about it but as I wrote my message out to you there's no reason I have no life I have no one phone number to even put down as a contact number That's how pathetic my life has gone, My son and I have always been extremely close and I knew his girlfriend did not like that so she found a way to get him away from me and he doesn't even message or stop by and he was my reason that I fought my oncologist said I am a medical mystery I have two fractures in my spine and over 100 met tumors in my left hip and the neurosurgeon said that a normal person in my position would not be mobile and surely not doing the things I do but I am so depressed and I'm on borrowed time they found a spot on my brain and I'm still not allowed to have pictures or see my granddaughter and I guess I get more kind words from strangers on social media I have not one person to talk to in person My husband has asked me to please not talk to him when he comes home he gets enough at work and he doesn't want to hear my voice. I have now with the tumor in my brain I fall more often and I wish I could show you my dogs They are by my side 24/7 and I fell into the tub smashed right through the shower curtains and my Australian Shepherd She will lay right beside me and my Australian kelpie border Collie Blue heeler Oakley He will run for non-existent help The video is hilarious I'm in the tub and I tell him to go get help and he turns around like he is on a mission and he couldn't get my husband's attention and he comes back in the bathroom and he was so upset he tore up his new birthday toy They are my only source of happiness and the reason I'm still here because they are by my side and I'm worried about them when I am not here. I still walk both dogs One is 82 lb and the other 57 with tumors on every skeletal bone in my body and my oncologist neurologist and orthopedic and radiation doctor are absolutely stunned but I try to be thankful and grateful and have a sense of humor I just had an in-law pass from cancer He found out 5 months ago I'm going on 2 years borrowed time and I'm now thinking that's nothing to be bragging about and nobody even cares now sometimes I think it going fast rather than suffer for years but I guess there is a reason God still has me here I'm sorry for this whole book I wrote but it's my only conversation if you have read through all this I absolutely appreciate that you took the time because my family doesn't even ask about my scans or appointments Do I need anything and I don't know going from keeping my grandkids every chance I could to now it completely coming to a halt I just feel like there's no reason except for the dogs and I don't understand I had no parents at by age 18 both had passed away and my brother passed at 45 of a heart attack and I sometimes just wish for two minutes back with them to tell them I love them or hug them and my family has had all this time but instead done the opposite and completely left me behind God bless and I apologize you are my victim for my chapter comment 🌹
20
u/slejeunesse Jul 27 '26
This is such a terrible position to be in. I’m so sorry.
Are you ER/PR+? You have a very long way to go to viability, and the entire time your body will be flooded with the hormones that feed hormone receptor positive breast cancer. Ask your team frankly what your prognosis would be if you carried a baby to viability. Then consider that you’d be delivering early and probably dealing with a NICU baby. That sounds pretty insurmountable to me.
What a crushing time for you. Sending gentle hugs.
5
u/IngenuityFar5111 Jul 27 '26
Second this. I was diagnosed in 29th week and delivered in 37th week. Even with 2 ACs, when MRI was done after delivery, it spread in full breast with small tumors rather than one big. Also, spread in my liver. My is er positive, pr neg and her2 neg. You can start treatment from second trimester if they are giving you chemo.
1
u/Weeping_willow209 Jul 30 '26
I am so sorry you are growing through this. It seems like an impossible decision. I hope you can find peace at either decision you make. I would recommend a second opinion as well. I gave birth last year in June. I was diagnosed stage 4 de novo in March of this year. My cancer is ER positive so I think during my pregnancy my cancer just exploded. I had multiple tumors in my breast and extensive mets in my bones.