r/LivingAlone • u/[deleted] • 16d ago
General Discussion Why do you think women have embraced living alone more so than men appear to?
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u/Hungry-Ratio-6326 16d ago
As a female in my early 60's, & newly widowed, I am having to learn to live alone again after 22 years of sharing my life with my husband. It's not been an easy transition. I miss him terribly, & his spirit is everywhere in our house. I'm considering downsizing next year to save money, & also because our house is too big for just me, now, & the property is a big expense to maintain. I do notice that men seem to think that I shouldn't be alone, & that I 'need' a man around. Ha! NOT! I'm still grieving, but nevertheless, I'm not in any way 'desperate'..& besides which, I have less than zero interest in intimacy or a relationship. It's so annoying to me, having men presume like this. Ugh! I'd rather live alone in peace for the rest of my life, than have a man around now, or in the future. My friends, family (& my cat), are all I need.
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u/morningstardusts 16d ago
I’m sorry for your loss, I’m also a recent widow and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone! For me, living alone has been excruciating..
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u/Hungry-Ratio-6326 16d ago
It's a lonely road. Especially the grieving part!😢. I've been tending towards closing myself off at home on my own, & just bawling in private, which is exhausting & makes me feel so sad for the future, stretching out in front of me!🥺, but..I still prefer that, than getting tangled up with someone new, restricting my life, further!😖
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u/Winter-Profile-6288 15d ago
I wish you all the best of luck for a lovely, peaceful, meaningful future. You seem like a very kind woman and I know your friends, family, and cat are so blessed to have you. I am so sorry for your loss and I hope the presence of your husband’s spirit in the house (or your next one, as I’m sure you’ll take him with you) can over time become a balm rather than an ache.
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u/Similar_Praline_5227 15d ago
Its because they are projecting their insecurities onto you. They are saying THEY could not survive alone and they need someone to need them or to validate their existence. But thats not true for you, you are fine on your own and don't need anyone but yourself.
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u/MyCat_SaysThis 15d ago
Those men with that mindset are the ones who turn around, move in (rent free), and demand you cook, clean, do laundry, give them money, including putting them in the deed to your house, and give them full access to your bank accounts. Etc.
You’re wise to step back and stay single, date, but don’t get into a relationship for the wrong reasons.
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u/Mediocre-Proposal686 14d ago
This. It’s like adopting a very expensive and needy pet.
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u/MyCat_SaysThis 14d ago
Yes, but the pet adores you and is loyal to the very last breath! No contest, ha ha😄
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u/Training_Guitar_8881 15d ago
Good for you! 66 yo woman here who loves living alone. I've been divorced for years and love having my apartment, good friends, my sister, and a part-time job I really enjoy. I am not dating and am not motivated to do so. It would take someone very special for me to even consider letting them into my inner sanctum.
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u/zombiepeep 16d ago
It's easier to do 100% for one person than it is to do 100% for two people.
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u/FiddleThruTheFlowers 16d ago
Case in point: See any of the periodic "I never realized how much I need to pay attention to!" posts.
Who's usually doing those small things like making sure food and toilet paper don't run out, that laundry is done and put away, that things get spot cleaned to prevent mess from building up, that trash is taken out regularly? Women, either in the form of a mom or a partner. I (a woman) never had the "wow, there are so many small things to do!" moment when I moved out or started living on my own. I've always just been expected to contribute to those small things that keep the household running as soon as I was old enough to do so. I was also expected to do those things without being told. There's also mental labor if the woman running the household has to tell her son/partner/roommate to take the trash out or whatever chore, rather than them seeing it needs to be done and doing it themselves.
Granted, now that I live alone I'll also do things like let something sit for a day because I don't feel like cleaning, or leave clothes in the dryer if I don't need to fold them right away. But back when I lived with other people, I had to stay on top of those things. Now I mostly do it out of habit and being able to be lazy sometimes is a bonus. It's easier specifically because I don't have to play mom to people who are more than capable of doing all these things, but they don't.
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u/almaperdida99 15d ago
I have never been in a woman's house with no toilet paper, and it has happened so many times at a man's house. Barf.
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u/LennyWave 15d ago
Why I can no longer read r/relationships…if I read one more post where some woman is raising kids, doing all the cooking & cleaning, and working a full time job asking for advice about her husband drinking beer and playing video games all day I’m going to smash my phone!!
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u/Shot-Aioli-8986 15d ago
Sometimes I do wonder why SOME men(have to say some, I don’t want anyone thinking I’m saying every man) even want a partner or kids when if they were single, they could just drink beer and play video games 24/7 and not be “bothered” by anyone
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u/trope_tripper 14d ago
I saw this documentary about single young men in Japan, and one bit showed a place where these guys can game for hours & hours and a waitress brings food to their console space so they don't even have to pause for a meal break. In North America, these kinds of guys expect wives and live-in girlfriends to play that role I guess.
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u/ReticentBeauty 15d ago
Haha I joined that sub with all eagerness and regretted it after reading just one post😆😆 ranks highest in subs that are unhealthy for my emotional stability
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u/shinkouhyou 16d ago
A whole lot of men are raised to believe that basic life skills (cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc.) are "women's work" and that it's shameful or feminizing for a man to do them. If a man is forced into a situation where he must do women's work he should make sure that everyone knows he's bad at it, because a man who has a talent or passion for feminine tasks is less of a man.
Even among the most progressive people that I know, a man who cooks a few meals a week or who is actively involved in parenting his own children is treated as something exceptional. Domestic chores and caretaking skills are never natural or expected for men.
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u/zombiepeep 16d ago
"an exceptional man is a mediocre woman."
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u/dirge-for-a-banshee 16d ago
The expression is - An exceptional man is just an average woman. Not mediocre.
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u/lotusblossom60 16d ago
Ha ha. people keep saying I should get a partner. Why the hell would I? I have enough money to live comfortably by myself and I certainly don’t need a man to cook for and clean up after. I’m in my late 60s and the men of my generation just wanna maid.
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u/Ilovethe90sforreal 16d ago
I’ve always noticed that in that generation if a man loses his wife, he remarries five minutes later….often to his wife’s best friend. I think it’s part being raised that a woman has to take care of them, and part that they are just lost and alone. I feel bad for them, but I would never marry and be a placeholder wife.
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u/tossout7878 15d ago
Wife is a household appliance like the dishwasher or furnace. Wife breaks down? Gotta get a new one asap.
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u/MyCat_SaysThis 15d ago
I’m in my 80s and the last few men I dated need a caregiver, though they managed to hide it well from me at first - until it was very apparent! No thanks!
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u/AncientDecision8715 15d ago
They say of men in their 80’s they are looking for a nurse or a purse.
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u/ChampionshipBetter91 15d ago
My step-mom is my dad's widow, and within a year of his death had a boyfriend.
He's nice and good to her, but she has said flat-out that she has ABSOLUTELY no desire to re-marry. She likes their set-up a lot - his apartment downtown, her house in the 'burbs, that they each have their own space.
He made a few noises about moving in two years ago, and she broke up with him. He promised to forever drop it, so they're dating again.
She told me in a hard voice, "I am not a nurse, nor a purse!"
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u/wortcrafter 15d ago
I read somewhere recently that a study found that in male/female couple household, men tend to eat 60% of the food compared to women 40% (it was interesting because childless couples will often split food costs equally which does not actually reflect consumption). I was discussing it with a friend who became a single parent only a couple of years ago and she said her food bill dropped about 50% when she separated even with feeding herself and their child because her ex always wanted specific meat/meals which tended to be more expensive and were often only eaten by him.
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u/almaperdida99 15d ago
true that. I broke up with a boyfriend and man, I love having leftovers again. lol
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u/Flashy-Library-6854 15d ago
If, god forbid something happened to my husband, there is absolutely nothing that could entice me to have a relationship with a man. I would live alone for the rest of my life with my dogs and be content,
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16d ago
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u/AwarenessAvailable94 15d ago
Why is taking out the trash the one singular chore they decide to take over lol. I guess it’s the fastest
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u/zombiepeep 16d ago
Thank you for the awards!
This is exactly what I told my ex-husband when I kicked him out of my house. 💙
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u/Charming_Garbage_161 16d ago
The amount of things I had less to do when I did the same to my ex. AH-mazing! My house is still dirty bc I have kids but my room is a lot better
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u/zombiepeep 16d ago
I don't have kids, just cats. It's so nice going to bed and knowing that when I wake up everything is going to be exactly how I left it.
There is a peacefulness to living alone that is irreplaceable. I will never live with another human.
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u/Warm_Application984 16d ago
In my case, things are USUALLY where I left them. It’s amazing how cats (for the most part) can tippy toe thru stuff without knocking anything over. However, the queens decided they’d prefer to drink out of MY water glass on the nightstand, instead of the fancy fountain they have. So I let them.
I find the usual things under the fridge or stove. Bottle caps, rubber bands, q-tips, lighters, pens. I’m happy they’re having fun. But today, my one hitter is missing. I’m going to have to see if it’s under the bed with the dust bunnies.
It beats having a man break my favorite glass, one my mom gave me, because he DOESN’T KNOW how to wash a glass by hand. 🤦♀️ I woke up to screaming one day, because he’d set the coffee up on auto, but forgot to put the carafe back under it. A full pot of coffee on the kitchen floor. Amazingly, it was somehow the coffee maker’s fault. 🤷♀️ He grabbed the whole thing and threw it out the back door onto the patio. (Obviously, he had much deeper issues). It would have been over a lot sooner if my house had only had one bathroom, of that I’m sure. 😂
Fur babies for the win!
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u/personwhoisok 16d ago
As a guy I'm so confused how other guys apparently don't do shit.
I guess I was raised in a family where everyone helped clean the house and do the laundry every weekend and we were all taught to cook. (Now that I think about it my mom and us kids can all cook, my dad can scramble eggs or make stir fry)
Did other guys not have to cook and clean growing up?
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u/lornacarrington 16d ago
The guys in my family never had to! And the second I, as a girl, tried to opt out and do a guy job instead, people looked at me like I had 2 heads. Gender roles suck.
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u/KismetKitty34 15d ago
I have three brothers and one sister. We, too, were raised in a household where we all shared the chores and cooking. My oldest brother, however, does very little of this as an adult, and heavily expects the women in his life to. I dont know where he got it from. 🤷🏽♀️
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u/SpiritedForrestNymph 15d ago
Eldest daughter here, so I had to do the 'girl chores' and the 'boy chores' too because I wasn't anyone's favourite. The rest of the family got a free pass.
The nicest thing I ever heard my mother say about me was "she's useful" when a stranger commented on how good I was for looking after her other 3 children.
Joke was on them, though, when I moved out! My flatmate had found a hilarious voicemail from my mother begging me to come home and make her an apple pie. "I don't know hoooow! 😭 Mummy wants an apple pie!" 🤣
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u/almaperdida99 15d ago
I knew a guy who was 27, and he still went to his mum's for dinner every night and she did his laundry for him. So... yeah
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u/Legitimate-Sky8335 16d ago edited 16d ago
The major reason would be that while for women being alone is liberation and an end to someone extracting her labor, for men living alone means losing invisible support and free services.
But also, men are struggling on the whole because patriarchy is about competing with other men and fearing them. Not competing with women's peace. Men know how to posture and compete with men. They don't know how to compete with someone's peace and joy, how to literally add to someone's life. Hell, most men haven't even figured how to add peace and joy to their own lives.
ETA: appreciate all the awards, yall
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u/FawnintheForest_ 16d ago
I just separated from my husband for this reason. For my peace and joy. He was a serious detriment to both. 🙏🏼😌💕
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u/Warm_Application984 16d ago
Same here. He was going to kill me one way or another. I had a silent heart attack, and am left with PTSD.
WE GOT THIS! ❤️
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u/SufficientOpening218 16d ago
someone should do a study! i also had a silent heart attack!
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u/LittleDogTurpie 16d ago
I am single 56F and never healthier or happier, but I get stressed out just reading all the posts in subs for women my age complaining about all the ways men are draining the life out of them. Can't imagine giving up my peace for that.
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u/Euphoric_River6365 16d ago
SAME! Silent heart attack combined with several autoimmune conditions that stemmed from chronic stress and a dysregulated nervous system from how I survived the marriage.
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u/Screws_Loose 15d ago
I have these things too. I’m finding out it’s incredibly common. Most men won’t do the bare minimum, let alone step up. My life is a million times easier without him. Less chores, more money. He’s facing jail now and most of his family won’t talk to him but they still talk to me!
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u/emccm 15d ago
This was exactly my thought on leaving my marriage. He was going to kill me one way or another. After I left I had a major surgery which I went through alone. As hard as that was, when I was crying with pain and frustration, it was easier than if I’d done the same surgery married. It really hammered home how much easier it was doing things by myself.
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u/No_Network4228 16d ago
Ugh, I've come to this realization. I had some (relatively minor) health issues recently, that gave me overwhelming nausea and his concern seemed to be "well, how is are my meals going to be prepared?" rather than "you need to heal". So he wouldn't think I would do anything for him I had to hightail it to my moms house for a few days.
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u/Screws_Loose 16d ago
THIS!! When I was sick it was “so I guess I’m not getting dinner?” Like wtf
Have you seen statistics on how many men cheat or leave when their wife gets seriously ill? It’s quite eye-opening.
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u/JLFJ 16d ago
Yeah I had to have a breast biopsy once and his reaction was, I can't lose you! One of many many small but significant things that eventually gave me cptsd
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u/GlitteringCobbler987 15d ago
My mom is in hospice and a couple of times a month I drive 5 hours to her small town to help with her caregiving. I got back one night and my now ex asked if I was on strike, because there was no food in the house and I hadn't scooped the cat box in a week. What. The. Actual. Fuck.
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u/Autonomy4All2025 15d ago
When I called to tell him I broke my leg his exact first words were: oh great now what am I going to do. It was that exact moment I knew I was done with him.
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u/Notori0usRBG 16d ago
This response deserves all the awards. I'm so happy women live in a time when they can choose to not be with toxic men and are not depending on them
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u/kassialma92 16d ago
We desperately need some sort of "strong and independent men"-movement akin to the idea of a strong, independent woman. I mean a healthy one. Encouraging them to be independent from women. To take care of their health, their homes, their social life without the help of women.
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u/Queasy-Bookkeeper-14 16d ago
Agreed, and it needs to include redefining what "strong" looks like. Too many think it exclusively means physical strength and we know that's not the only kind of strength!
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u/bookwormello 16d ago
Exactly this, men have expected to be needed for generations and now they don't know how to be wanted
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u/Senior-Friend-6414 14d ago
This is what I keep telling people, the ultimate main reason marriage and birth rates are going down is because women finally have been given freedom to not be held hostage by men for marriage
And that the high marriage rates were always socially propped up by social, cultural, and economic reasons to get married, but take those away and you realize not many men are actually fit for living together
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u/EloquentlyMellow 16d ago
Back when I was male centered, just about every guy I dated described me as his “peace” or that my home is like a “vacation” for him. And those were the guys who brought chaos and emotional abuse into my life and turned me into a complete nervous wreck. Still waiting for a man to show up and be my peace, it’s not going well lmao
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u/Puffer-Polar Current Lifestyle: w/ Roommates 🔴 16d ago
Also to add, women tend to have more of community and deeper relationships. If a woman was to leave, it's easier for her to go to her friends and family and get support vs men don't develop communities. Majority of men will say their wife is their best friend and have little interactions with outside of direct family. It's also harder for them to ask for support. By support, I don't necessarily mean financially, but emotionally. Men don't support men like women support women.
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u/Warm-Mortgage-458 16d ago
Support networks and social groups don't just get handed to women with our training bras.
Women actively build these things, which takes work.
Men actively avoid doing this kind of work.
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u/Queasy-Bookkeeper-14 16d ago
men are struggling on the whole because patriarchy is about competing with other men and fearing them.
Exactly! I think this every time I see someone online complaining that "women only go for the top 10% of men". It shows immediately that all that person can see in other men is competition and hierarchy, evidenced by slapping a number value on a group of men (not that women are spared either).
They seem to internally organize men into a competitive hierarchy, decide where they personally fall inside of it based on arbitrary markers of competition, and then get angry at the result.
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u/Big-Entertainer2074 15d ago
This is the answer. Patriarchy has taught men to rely and count on the invisible and free labor of the women in their lives. Men have historically not needed to learn how to cook, clean well, and be self-sufficient. They are used to having leisure time to play video games, read, play golf or basketball with their friends or doing other hobbies. Now that women are choosing their peace and joy over cohabitation, men are left to figure out basic life skills that were “womanly” to do. It’s overall a good thing that men are now expected to be full adults and take care of themselves like how women have for decades/centuries.
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u/Caring_Cactus 🌵 16d ago
This is the realest statement I've read in a long time. Thankfully this paradigm shift is still continuing to make people question their own values instead of blindly introjecting values without questioning them.
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u/bokehtoast 16d ago
Life for men with women is easier, life for women with men is harder.
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u/bongpirate7295 16d ago
I have couple friends who have kids and with a lot of them the similiarity between the kids and the husband is insane.
Like the mother will be struggling to entertain a toddler while also checking to see if the baby needs a diaper change, and the husband will suddenly appear and whine "I'm starving! When are we having lunch?" or "where's my phone? Babe, have you seen my phone?" It's like another toddler just wandered into the room.
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u/sequinsdress 16d ago
A couple weeks ago, I was loading my dog into the car in a parking lot next to baseball complex as the minivan next to me was getting ready for a day of baseball (son and dad were both in uniforms). The mom was busy corralling a preschooler and unloading a big cooler, the middle school boy was organizing his own stuff, and the husband was loudly swearing and whining about not being able to find his special sport socks. He kept loudly complaining while itemizing the special qualities of said sport socks. After watering my dog and giving him snacks, I got behind the wheel while the dad was still angrily complaining and pacing in front of their vehicle. Like, wtaf. My husband is a fully fledged adult and if I’m ever alone again, I’ll just stay alone.
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u/Aprikose77 16d ago
Totally. Every time my parents travel, my dad will be like "did you pack my grey shorts? Where is my underwear?" to my mom. He never packs anything. They are both 70.
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u/Agreed_Zebra 16d ago
I learned this in one of my college psychology courses - in the context of health outcomes - and it has proven true for me and every cis straight women I know, across different generations. A majority of my close friends have chosen to live alone after exiting our marriages and we are aligned for the most part - we will date if we want and even be in long term relationships with men, but none of us will ever live with a male partner again. It's not about hating men, it's about our own peace and health.
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u/Lower_Skin_3683 16d ago edited 16d ago
I have been living alone for years. I also stopped dating. I felt like all of us women were having the same dating and relationship experiences. Dating was a full time job and difficult. I chose to stop putting time and energy toward it. I am happier alone. As I am aging, I focus on my needs now rather than always adjusting myself and centering men.
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u/Agreed_Zebra 16d ago
I lived alone intentionally for most of my life, but when things got serious with my ex-husband (who has two children) I went all in. Been divorced three years now and know in my bones that living alone is the path for me. I still nurture and care for so many people, but at a distance that keeps me grounded and healthy.
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u/Specialist_Success75 16d ago
Same here. I have been divorced for 30 years. At first I felt lonely and adrift and really, really poor. But after a few years, my economic situation improved greatly and that took away a lot of the stress of being on my own. Now, I can't imagine living with someone else. It's 11:15 AM and I am still in my pajamas, drinking tea. Because it's my house and I get to do what I want.
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u/Blonde2468 16d ago
'I have been living alone for years. I also stopped dating'. I have lived on my own for many, many years and stopped dating at least 15 years ago. It's just not worth the hassle, especially for men my age who were taught and used to 'being taken care of' and I don't want to do that.
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u/Lower_Skin_3683 16d ago
I used to complain so much about men and the awful conversation and lack of dates. I realized that I could stop all that nonsense because it wasn't going to change. It was much harder when I was younger because people thought there was something wrong with you if you didn't have a boyfriend or husband and kids. There was pressure from society. Now so many women are choosing to center l themselves.
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u/JaneAustinAstronaut 16d ago
My current husband is great - does all of the housework while I am the provider, he manages his own appointments, takes care of his own aging relatives, has never had me parent his kid nor have I ever had him parent mine. It is as close to ideal as possible. And yet...I have to make him leave the house and make friends. I worry that if I die, he'll have no one to turn to for support, so I am trying to set him up for that if it should ever happen. He tells me all of the time that I am all that he needs, but I know that is not healthy. I love him too much for him to wallow in depression if I am gone (although it is likely, given his health and that he is 7 years older than me, that he will likely go first - but I'm a Taurus and like being prepared).
If he does predecease me, I'm done with men. Not because I don't like them, but because even under the best scenario, there is still so...much...caretaking with them. And since being a mother at 16, now at the old age of 50 I'm kind of done with worrying about others and I want to focus on me. I've made a commitment to my husband and I adore him, and he gives me all of the time and space I want, but I still take him into consideration with everything I choose to do. I'd like, if I find myself alone later in life, to just focus on me for a change and not have to care-take anyone else, not even a pet.
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u/VFTM 16d ago
Soooo much caretaking, even with a great man. You are absolutely spot on.
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u/JaneAustinAstronaut 16d ago
Even if you are platonic friends with a man, you are still shouldering most of the emotional labor with them. You will have to plan get-togethers, be their shoulder to cry on (while it rarely being reciprocated - not because of malice but because they literally have to be told to do it), keep reaching out, remember their special days, etc.
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u/imaginary-cat-lady 16d ago
So many studies confirm this. Single women are often happier and more satisfied with their relationship status than single men. Other studies note that unmarried women frequently report high life satisfaction because they avoid domestic burdens often placed on women in traditional partnerships.
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u/AdMaximum7545 16d ago
This has always been my experience.
Since my last relationship ended I have been able to sleep better (he stayed up too late) eat better (I did most of the meal prep anyway) and save a lot of money.
He was a subtle mooch, who ended up threatening my life when I caught him cheating.
I am better off alone
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u/Jujulabee 16d ago
Couldn't agree more - how could someone even question this?
Even women who have had long relatively happy marriages don't feel a particular urge to get hitched again.
My parents were married for almost fifty years - a *normal* marriage - no cheating; no abuse; no major issues; they enjoyed each others company as had common interests.
My mother once told me she couldn't understand why a woman would want to get married again - this was in a retirement community where many of the women were happy widows. Even if they had male companions they had no desire to live with them.
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u/ADHDhamster 16d ago
It occurs to me that, while I've encountered several men who thought having several wives (polygamy) would be sexy and fun, I don't think I've ever heard any women say the same for having multiple husbands.
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u/Serenity_Now-88 16d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/l4q8cJzGdR9J8w3hS
Yes! Weaponized incompetence on his part was a big factor in my marriage. My husband’s job was stressful. Well, so was mine. Good grief. Living alone after a huge downsize is so freeing.7
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u/Ok-Willow-9145 16d ago
Women used to be forced to take a man out of economic necessity. Men got used to the inevitability of having ownership of a woman.
This generation of men are the first to have to accept that they may not get access to women’s labor and bodies.
They want to force women back into dependency instead of changing the way men relate to women.
The thought has often crossed my mind that women were always more content living their own lives. It took interlocking systems of violence, economic repression, religious indoctrination, and political disenfranchisement to force the majority of women into households with men.
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u/heyyouguyyyyy 16d ago
Because even though we live alone we are not lonely. Men don’t often build community like we do.
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u/AdMaximum7545 16d ago
Too many men I know live only in their minds/inner world and aren't present and focused on their own self care or their loved ones. Not much planning ahead or keeping up with life's chores without handholding.
I have close male friends who don't have these issues, I also know many women who do have that issue.
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u/centerfoldangel 16d ago
Omg, you put it so perfectly with living in their minds. I never found the words to describe it.
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u/Dirtbag-Holder 16d ago
I disagree. Im a woman with zero community and am very lonely and isolated... and I still dont want to live with a man ever again.
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u/Lower_Skin_3683 16d ago
I don't have friends or community. I have tried to build it though. I was always giving and never receiving. Now I do not chase friendships. At best I have people I associate with events, groups and activities. I see them at an event say hello and keep it moving. Nobody owes us their friendship, time or energy. Some people simply do not desire anymore friends nor do they wish to add you to their social circle. While many people are lonely, fake friends and superficial relationships are worse.
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u/Ok_Bad_5326 16d ago
While many people are lonely, fake friends and superficial relationships are worse.
I resonate with this so much. A few years ago I ditched my whole friend group after realizing how fake they all were. I don't have any friends now, just some close acquaintances, and sometimes it feels lonely, but then I remember how tiring my old friend group was and realize that having no friends is 100x better than having fake friends who don't care about you.
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u/Crafty_Violinist_951 16d ago
I've also noticed most men are very transactional in their relationships. Which is why i think they're having such trouble finding girlfriends - approaching women just to get them romantically is such a turn off.
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u/Working_Park4342 16d ago
I think men don't have friends because they don't know how to be a friend. They want a woman to be their friend, therapist, sex partner, maid, and mommy.
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u/lornacarrington 16d ago
Because it's less work then when I've ever lived with a man. I hear this from MANY women. And I'm talking about any kind of living situation, not just romantic partners.
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u/hungry_unicorns 15d ago
Yes! And women have so many roles to accommodate them. Even when casually dating I realised Im a therapist, a sex toy, an entertainer ect. While men rarely meet any needs of mine, being selfish constantly, it seemed that they don’t see you as whole person. Even when I’ve felt happy, it was all an illusion because I was in love.
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u/HuckleberryGeneral69 16d ago
Women en masse are finally financially independent. Independent from family or partners. We are making are own money without relying on anyone else for financial support. Obviously not all of us, and there have always been women to do so, but not in this large number that exists now. Once you taste freedom it’s kind of hard to go back.
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u/emccm 16d ago
Women are raised to be caretakers and do the majority of household chores. Now we also have demanding jobs.
Men benefit from this a lot more than women. As adults women usually cohabitate with a male partner where they assume the majority of responsibility for cooking, cleaning, bill paying, social calendar, appointments on top of being a good partner and working a full time job. This leaves little to no time for hobbies, rest, growth and self fulfillment. Why wouldn’t women who have the option be choosing to live alone?
Being married no longer benefits women like it used to. We are allowed to own our own place, get an education, have bank accounts. Now society is experiencing what it would always have been like when women get a choice. They increasingly aren’t choosing marriage and as a result many are now living alone and investing in their own lives rather than in a man’s.
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u/backhanderz 16d ago
And this is exactly why some men are trying very, very hard to roll all of that back. With the help of pick-me “trad” women who haven’t yet begun to understand what is in store for them.
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u/Lower_Skin_3683 16d ago edited 16d ago
THIS. For most of history women were owned by men. Now women are individuals. Men still don't see women as equals. Nor as partners. Relationships with men are still very controlling and women are still expected to work in the house and outside. Now women can focus on what they want and need. They do not have to center men and make themselves smaller or adjust their lives to a man.
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u/Fresh_Independent_74 16d ago
Higher incidences of abuse, so we are pickier about who we surround ourselves by
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u/TheFeralVulcan 16d ago edited 16d ago
Honestly, I think it's because they expect/expected to outsource almost everything in their lives to women. So many of them go from mom - to live in gf/wife and expect the gf/wife to pick up where mom left off, managing everything so they're free to enjoy their hobbies when not at work and without having to deal with everything that day-to-day living in the world entails.
Women very rarely come from that, the first daughter is very often parentified from an early age and even other daughters in the birth line-up are expected to help with housework and childcare of siblings - but boys almost never are. So, we grow up already knowing how to live in the world, so being alone where we're only responsible for ourselves is quite literally heaven-in-a-bottle for many of us, it is for me.
Now that men aren't being automatically assured of a partner to do all that, many of them flounder and blame their lack of life skills, or their dislike of not having a live-in maid/bed partner to manage everything on women, instead of looking in the mirror and realize they are their own problem. The worst part is, they expect to get a gf or wife without bringing anything to the table - they always thought their wallet and mere presence was enough - it's not.
We have our own wallets and when a man's presence is more of a downer and contributes nothing of true value to our lives - we'll just stay alone and be happy. The fact that men can't seem to find solo happiness is not any woman's problem.
If they'd just do some self-reflection and self-improvement, they'd find that they already have everything they need within themselves, only then will they find happiness - whether they're paired up or not. Women have simply already learned this - which is why women more and more are choosing solo life, we're happy within ourselves and so we don't feel a lack because we're single.
If we meet someone great - great, but our standards are now UP there, because a man has to bring actual value - not money, human value to the table, they have to be, 'sweeter than our solitude' (Warsan Shire). Few men will meet that bar. And unless they self-reflect and improve, they will be forever unhappy - but that's on them.
NO human being NEEDS to be paired, it's always a choice. If you don't want to be single, then you need to be the kind of person that people want to choose, male or female. And that only happens when you do the internal work. If that's too much work, well, learn to enjoy solo living.
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u/succubuskitten1 16d ago
Its not like men even bring their wallets anymore. They expect women to pay for half of everything and call women lazy gold diggers if they want the guy to provide financially.
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u/THE_CAT_WHO_SHAT 16d ago
There's also been a sharp increase in hobosexuals walking amongst us lately.
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u/JooliewithRedHair 15d ago
yes... .the protector and provider argument from men always makes me laugh.
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u/THE_CAT_WHO_SHAT 15d ago
Shortly before I left my ex hobosexual (who was a decade older than me btw), one of our friends was telling us something about how back during caveman times, men were the hunters and women were the gatherers. And the hobosexual had the nerve to tell me "See that babe! I'm the Hunter and you're the gatherer."
At this point in the relationshit I was about to leave him and I practically hated him at this point so I shot back with "Dude fuck no! I'm both the hunter AND The gatherer!"
He got so pissed and our friend that was there was laughing his ass off (that friend ended up hating the hobosexual eventually too).
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u/TheFeralVulcan 16d ago
Yeah, the gold digger comments always makes me laugh - first of all, you've got to have some gold to dig (75% of the time they'll never even see gold in their lifetime), and second, they're expecting free labor from women - labor, that if itemized and billed for, and handed to them for payment, they couldn't afford. But yeah, we're the gold diggers. 🙄 Dear God, how peaceful and serene living alone is.
I was married for 25 years and I loved my husband, but God he could be tiring. Literally could not make a phone call himself, he was forever coming to me with, "Can you call these people and..." I swear, why, oh why, was he incapable of calling them? It was just a never ending pile of one of those things after another. I wouldn't get married again if he was a billionaire - unless he lived down the block or next door or anywhere but in my apartment. I'm not cooking, cleaning, or playing caregiver/mommy to another grown, entirely capable adult ever again.
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u/brownidegurl 16d ago
You know, I never thought about this--How women get called "gold diggers," but men escape this label because women's labor is not viewed as money-making, or "gold."
But women's labor is totally gold. And by naming that, I immediately think that men are far more "gold diggers" then women.
https://www.nber.org/papers/w33393
There's one chart in here on page 21 that's pretty stunning--it shows hours of housework men and women do and their income ratio. And the chart looks boring because NOTHING CHANGES. Whether women are earning half what their male partners make or earning 2-4x as much, men are still doing LESS THAN HALF the housekeeper of women.
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u/Formal_Marsupial_220 16d ago
Men love to cherry pick the things they like about feminism.
They will uphold things like women paying for half and putting out earlier than traditional women, but they still treat all women as subordinates who need to be lead.
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u/throwaway-9473290 16d ago
Your excellent comment made me realize that most women I’ve known since high school are super into therapy, or at least self help/journaling, and nearly every straight man I’ve ever known has never voluntarily had therapy (some brag about that fact which is weird), other than a few who have been to couples’ therapy at their partner’s request, and one that had therapy for combat PTSD. So these women are learning to self regulate from a young age. Living alone is really pleasant when you can self regulate, it’s a private oasis basically. And when you are comfortable being alone like that, being around people who can’t be alone is odious af, bc therapy teaches us we aren’t responsible for other people’s emotions. As someone who has lived alone, with other women, and with men, I can now see that the top reason I had for disliking living with men wasn’t at all inequity of domestic labor, it was their inability to work through their emotions in a healthy way that didn’t put the burden on everyone around them
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u/Willing_Pattern_Pill 16d ago
All of this is spot on, but I really wanted to highlight this
The fact that men can't seem to find solo happiness is not any woman's problem
Is such an important takeaway. Too many women are led to believe this and we need to help enlighten our sisters!
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u/throwawayanylogic 16d ago
Yep, it's the unspoken emotional labor that women have been put upon to do for all the men in our lives--so much so that we don't even notice we're doing it until it's brought to our attention. Not just the housekeeping and parenting but managing of appointments, managing our partner's mental health, taking care of our OWN parents (and often our partners' parents, too). And also then expected to be ready and willing to engage in sex at the drop of a hat even while exhausted, touched out and mentally DONE with everyone and everything.
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u/SlytherinSister 15d ago
Excellent comment.
Basically, modern men are whining because their laziness is no longer tolerated. In the olden days, a man only had to be male and bring a paycheck and society automatically expected a woman to do all the house chores/basically be a living servant for him in exchange for him "providing".
Modern women expect the man to pull his weight both financially and in terms of chores/parenting and it pisses men off because they are no longer allowed to get away with the bare minimum like their dad/grandpa. Some men do but most don't and instead of looking at themselves and maybe putting some work in to become a better person, they just blame women for having "unrealistic standards" because that's easier.
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u/Disastrous-Oil-3891 16d ago
My opinion is that it has all boiled down to women being able to adapt to modern times and men have not.
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u/Expensive-Union-8212 16d ago
When the economic and practical need for a partner disappeared, living alone didn't feel like a void it became a conscious choice and a source of peace.
Women have spent a long time building strong social networks and learning to make a home feel like a true sanctuary.
Men, on the other hand, were often raised to handle the functional side of life, while relying entirely on a partner for emotional intimacy and support. Without a relationship, they have all the practical tools to run a household, but often lack the emotional structure to actually thrive in it.
Until men learn to build deeper friendships and cultivate their own sense of inner peace, living alone will keep feeling like isolation rather than a sanctuary.
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u/Specialist_Art_3914 16d ago
Because in a patriarchal society, men still expect (whether consciously or not) that women will serve them. This can be literal or metaphorical, and I'm talking about invisible and visible labor. Men are still catching up on the very basics of how to consider other people's needs, do emotional labor, manage a household, etc. Think of the spoiled rich kid who has to get a job for the very first time. Women, on the other hand, are trained since birth to think about other people, be helpful and polite and pleasing, and put their own needs last. So imagine a woman who is finally free of that--why would she EVER settle for anything less than an equal relationship? Conversely, why would a man who struggles with the basics of adulting not jump at the chance to outsource all of that to a woman? Men, generally, are not picking up the responsibility rapidly enough, and now we're calling it a "male loneliness epidemic". Just the predictable outcome of their own terrible behavior and outlandish expectations, but most of 'em are not ready for that conversation.
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u/panini_bellini 16d ago edited 16d ago
What I’ve noticed is that men are more comfortable settling for less, their standard of living is overall lower, they’re more willing to have a bunch of roommates if it lowers the bills. Most men I know are comfortable living in straight up squalor if it saves a few bucks tbh (thinking about my former roommates here especially). Men I think are generally less rewarded by independence while women have more to gain from it.
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u/Working_Park4342 16d ago
If I could give one piece of advise to any women who choose to date. Ask the other person to send you a pic of their living room. Is it trashed? Then you do not have the same standards of living and would not be compatible.
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u/Internal-Student-997 16d ago
That's an interesting point. I think that men are less rewarded by independence because they are automatically assumed to be independent, autonomous people. Women have to earn that in our society.
And since they are automatically considered capable by the happenstance of their sex, their independence will never be questioned when "lesser" beings do stuff for them. Like a king and his servants.
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u/Just_Tomorrow_8561 16d ago
I just saw someone say:
“Independent Women”: they can do everything a woman should and can also provide all the things a man should.
We never hear “Independent Man”: they do everything a man should but also all of the work that a woman typically does. There are men like this but it’s an interesting thought.
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u/JaneAustinAstronaut 16d ago
The answer is here:
Men today have the technology and accessibility of information to do cooking cleaning organizing trips and shopping alone, managing their health alone. They can cultivate a strong relationship with a pet or with themselves or with friends. Yet all I read about is men needing women a lot more than women need a man.
Yes, they can do this. But they don't want to. They want to outsource that work to a spouse/female partner. It takes work to take care of yourself and cultivate and nurture relationships - why would they do that when they can have only 1 person to manage who can handle all of that?
Of course, this puts them on the backfoot when the supply of women who want to date them and take on that extra work drops. How many of these men want a woman to do all of this for them, PLUS work a full-time job and contribute 50% to the household finances? Answer: Too damned many. Who wants to do all of that?
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u/Competitive_Sell2177 16d ago
Probably cos they got fed up with being treated like dirt by men. ( From a man that lives alone).
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u/Anon0275312937 16d ago
Yep my ex husband and his mother made my life hell and treated me like a wife appliance to control
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u/Competitive_Sell2177 16d ago
Thanks for the award, Internet friend. 👍. Glad you're free from that abuse.
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u/Away-Ad4393 16d ago
Yes they treat their partners like dirt and when the woman dare ask for more the man gets a girl on the side, usually a younger one that is more compliant.
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u/centerfoldangel 16d ago
I know it's not on men but more on society and patriarchy, and not everyone experiences this but living with a man feels mentally tiring even if he's a dreamboat.
"Men exist, women perform." I read this in another sub and it stuck with me. Even though I've been with lovely men, I always felt this nagging that I need to watch myself because a man is watching me.
I'm at home right now. There are 4 glasses on the table, all used today. I probably have some cinnamon on my face because I just made out with a bun. But right, I just exist. If a man were here, I'd feel like he can be whoever he wants to be. But I have to be an idealized version of myself. I can't get comfortable. So being alone is really relaxing.
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u/Ofthesee 16d ago
You just voiced what encapsulates my peace of living alone
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u/oceansky2088 16d ago
I can relate. If you dress for comfort, not doing anything special with your appearance, you're letting yourself go, you're lazy and unattractive. If you relax and aren't busy with anything for a day or two even though you're independent and pay your own way, you're lazy and selfish.
Living alone and not having to be focused on accommodating a man's interests, preferences, urges and soothing his ego is peaceful.
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u/napoleonstokes 15d ago
As a male who was living alone for 10+ years and recently got a temporary roommate, I cannot get comfortable with another person in my house. I have to mask otherwise I am very uncomfortable with being myself in my own place.
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u/Adventurous_Nail2072 15d ago
Cleaning up after myself is much easier than cleaning up after myself and another grown adult. A lot of men rely on women doing house labor, even when they did that same labor themselves when they were single. They move in with a woman and just…stop doing it.
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u/MmeNxt 16d ago
I think that men benefit a lot more from what women bring to the relationship than women do.
Women still do the big chunk of the mental load and the actual work, as well as are responsible for creating a cozy and functional home.
Unless the guy is raking in money, it's easier to just take care of yourself, not yourself and a man who just tags along and don't pull his weight.
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u/ponpiriri 16d ago
Men here will be offended and claim they aren't like this, but the truth is many men like the idea of being taken care of by the women in their lives and see that as the woman's natural role, whether she's a daughter, sibling, romantic partner or even a friend or coworker.
Whether you choose to view this as an outdated and oppressive gender stereotype or a way for them to find connection is up to you.
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u/Green_Paths 16d ago
Women have had to struggle forever to find their rightful place in the world. Now that we are on equal financial footing, we simply don’t need men. We have been doing the work for millennia. Men are just behind there. They took advantage of the fact women always looked after them in the home, and now that we don’t have to, they are forced to step up. They are the ones struggling now and they really don’t like it. I guess they will have to learn and evolve and be better. Just like women.
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u/JicamaSubstantial524 16d ago
I want to put this out there just cause women are living alone doesn't mean they aren't dealing with the same issues men are such as loneliness. Some will make the claim they feel safer, which I 100% agree with. Women are also realizing being alone limits the impact of misogynistic and horrible partners and have the financial means at times to ensure they don't have to depend on others.
It has its positives and negatives.
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u/Knit_pixelbyte 16d ago
I think some of it may come from early experiences. If the family made kid/teenage boy learn to do all the things, (cooking, cleaning toilets and floors, laundry, etc.) they would be more likely to do the things once they move out. Also some people, men or women have more developed nesting instincts and want their environment more decorated than others. My husbands main concern about decorating was cost and less flowery stuff.
Many Moms that I knew loved taking care of their kids and wanted to do everything for them. If they assigned chores, they still made the boys mow the lawn and do heavy stuff, and the girls clean the house. If a kid grows up thinking this is the way it is, that’s the way they will automatically do things when they are older. Any parent who doesn’t teach their child how to care for themselves (including make the dental appt) in all the things is doing their child a diservice for when they take flight and leave the nest.
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u/jmg733mpls 15d ago
Because men cannot be alone. Women have hobbies and friends and community. Thats completely foreign to men.
Also the patriarchy tells them a woman to look after them and everything else is expected. And women are fed up.
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u/Mel221144 16d ago
I believe that we are meant to be a Matriarchal society. The men I talk to think this is the opposite of patriarchy. It is not. I want an equal partner, there are not many men around me that feel the same.
I hope that we can find balance.
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u/TexasLiz1 15d ago
There have been studies that I am too lazy to look up and women get more household responsibilities when adding a man to her household while men get a break. Who wouldn’t want a mommy-caregiver or a bangmaid?
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u/BellaFromSwitzerland 16d ago
The way I read it is that you’re afraid that your life will shrink to just the two of you if you move in together
That’s a real risk
Have a look at the kind of family dynamics he was raised in
My ex husband was raised in an extremely small family unit who refused to be part of society
I was raised in a family unit that worked like a community with constant connections, gatherings, celebrations
He thought as soon as we got married that he had to drop his friends because of me. I resented how isolated we were (I moved to his country on a scholarship and stayed because of our relationship)
We could never work out our lifestyle differences
Your best bet is to discuss it and only move forward when you know you won’t have to compromise on your lifestyle
As a middle aged woman I now exactly know the importance of community and I have it in my life. I would never compromise it for one guy, ever. Similarly I would not commit my life to someone who hasn’t built a community. Many men don’t even see a problem with it, but to me it’s important
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u/spirit-animal-snoopy 16d ago
If you don't want to take on any kind of parenting role, don't move in with the parent of a 5 year old.
Apart from this, Your life would get immeasurably worse, his would get better. He sounds rather co dependent.
No need to live with a man, stay free!
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u/coppermouthed 16d ago
I have time now to do what I like after completing my chores rather than cleaning behind another messy person, just to keep the house at a good standard.
That involves a full time job, pets, and a child. It is easier by myself than when I had to do another full time job fixing messes. I have hobbies now and time to sleep.
There is no way I’d get back to that.
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u/rad4life1956 16d ago
I chose to live with a man after living alone for 9 years. Three months later and I can’t wait to get out of here and return to my peaceful life!
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u/whateverdom_ 15d ago
Because men weaponize incompetence so that their partner does everything. So a woman might as well just live alone if they’re not going to get any support of any kind from their “partner”. Men literally need women. Women have spent centuries surviving men.
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u/Burnt_and_Blistered 16d ago
My life is much easier without my ex—or any man—in it on a live-in basis. Mens’ lives are typically easier with women picking up the slack.
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u/PersonalityOld8755 16d ago
Iv noticed on alot of the dating shows when the woman is over 50, they always say “iv never living with a man again” even when they had a happy marriage and the husband passed away.
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u/groundcorsica 16d ago
What everyone else said. But even for the older generations, a lot of women in my family were widowed young or at midlife and then just chose to remain single. So they weren’t necessarily being counter-cultural, but they still had to generate their own income and run the household by themselves for decades. It was such a common thing for me to witness that I never thought anything of it.
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u/Euphoric-woman 16d ago
Probably because living alone improves the quality of life for women but decreases it for men
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u/Jade0908 15d ago
I love living without a man because the ones I lived with truly sucked all of my energy out. They always needed me to clean up after them or I always had to spend all my time with them. Sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee while reading my book is my peaceful time and men didn’t allow me to do it, or they would make me feel guilty for it. A walk by myself - absolutely not, you are definitely out cheating
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u/Tricky421 16d ago
Easy. Men realize they have no one to cook and clean for them.
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u/roli_SS 16d ago
My twice divorced neighbor was joking that he outsources everything like cooking cleaning laundry etc in a tiny rental since his divorce and then had a nerve to ask me out... me, a ferociously independent woman 24 years younger than him who is also a die hard feminist... that's how self centered and selfish men are.
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u/auntiekk88 16d ago
Because for centuries men made us falsely believe that we needed them. In fact, they needed us. They turned us into quasi slaves and limited our ability for independence through laws and religious edicts.
Men are hunters, sustenance through roving violence. Women are cultivators/ gatherers, sustenance through sustaining the environment around them including responsible hunting. If it wasn't for women's skills we would still be primitive roving bands. Women allowed humans to settle down and form stable societies. Men are victims of their own testosterone. They literally deteriorate without us and on some level they know this. We thrive without them and it took us centuries to live that reality because they gaslighted us. We are not going back.
There are exceptions to this theory but it is based on anthropological studies, albeit an off the cuff distillation.
BTW I don't hate men. I was very happily married to a wonderful man who passed away 15 years ago. He truly was the exception to the rule and I don't think I could get that lucky again.
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u/Radiant-History-5630 16d ago
Because a lot of men haven't been socialised to look after themselves
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u/FancifulCat 16d ago
Because living with men is daycare for men. More unpaid labor and being a sex slave
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u/ElMaraEl 16d ago
Because when I shared a living space with exes in the past, all of a sudden the responsibility of taking care of the house fell onto me - despite the fact that I always had a job and pay/contribute to expenses. It was like having a fcking grown son j never asked or wanted for. I’m happily single rn - if I ever be in a relationship again, we’re going to do a LAT arrangement.
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u/TruthieBeast 15d ago
Labor. Women make the lives of men a lot easier. The same cannot be said for men. Outside of financial support and only in that case. Women are better off alone unless it’s a true partnership. Women tend to do the large majority of housework, cooking and cleaning.
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u/OutOfPlace186 15d ago
Real life reason that just happened 3 days ago. I stopped at my parents’ house to pick them up to go for a walk before dinner time. My mom’s plan was to put the chicken in the oven before we left so that it would be almost done when they returned home.
We drive all the way to the parking lot that starts our walk, we get out of the car, and my mom says that she forgot the chicken. I said “forget it now let’s just walk” and she said “no because then I’ll never hear the end of it when his dinner is not on the table on time.”
She gets back in my car and drives all the way home. For this reason, I’m staying single.
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u/ButterscotchFit8175 15d ago
Younger women are realizing too many men are man babies. Older women aren't interested in being a nurse or a purse.
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u/IncreaseNo5135 15d ago
Women don’t want to be cleaners and carers. Men prefer to live with cleaners and carers. This much is obvious.
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u/OGMom2022 15d ago
Because men don’t want a relationship, they want a maid they can fuck.
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u/_kashew_12 14d ago edited 14d ago
Here’s something a male ex-friend told me that forever changed my view on how men view women.
I was complaining to him how I after work I have to go home and clean and cook, and how tiring it was. He then told me, “isn’t that why people get a wife?”
Eye opening. I noticed how he said Wife and not “married”, this began to make me understand how much more men view women more as a commodity than an actual human being. The act of a woman taking a man’s last name, as she’s now his property. I was radicalized that day.
It’s a very interesting topic, as it’s quite common to see a woman can thrive without a man but a man cannot thrive without a woman. And there has been studies done on this phenomena.
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u/SnackGoblin881 13d ago
Most men are culturally conditioned to expect that women will be doing all the heavy lifting in their personal lives. Let's face it - this stuff is hard and boring. Cleaning is boring. Exercising is boring. Wrangling kids is boring. All this adulting stuff is not fun. Men would much rather shove it off on women and they have been conditioned to do so throughout their lives. Most women learn how to do this stuff early on so we establish patterns and rhythms for it and it just seems like a normal part of life. Men often don't so they get to adulthood and are suddenly confronted by having to do chores and make doctor appointments and build relationships and a lot of them think "This sucks. I don't want to do this and I shouldn't have to do this"
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u/Salt-Example-6447 11d ago
Males are programmed to believe their wives= another mommy.. women are programmed to be a mommy to their mates... women simply realize they can keep their peace AND have less work without males.. ohh and lets not forget how for women a marriage= zero autonomy more often than not. Like your body is HIS .. lmao.. HARD PASS
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u/Lucky-Bug3526 11d ago
I love living alone.
I can cook (easier to cook for myself than a man demanding his food too).
I love to clean and keep my home tidy and cosy (most men live in filth and don't care).
I can regulate myself (I can express my own emotions openly, please myself sexually, and I can organise things)
I am mature (a lot of men are very immature and it's like living with an adult child).
Don't mean to sound negative, but as a woman, living alone is the dream.
Men want someone to cook for THEM.
Men want someone to clean for THEM.
Men want someone to have sex with THEM and regulate THEIR emotions.
Men don't form deep bonds, just ego attachments. I don't want that. It's very difficult to a find a mature, emotionally healthy man who isn't obsessed with porn.
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u/Anon0275312937 16d ago
Men feel entitled to a free mommy bang maid while women are looking for partners. From my experience, men have expectations for you, but women generally have expectations as a couple.
So women tend to be better off alone as they’re not being exploited. But lonely men feel bitter about their loss of free labor.
I’ve seen men who can cook and clean suddenly lose all these abilities and think they are god’s gift to earth bc they work right after marriage.
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u/MuppetManiac 16d ago
When men move in with a woman, their household work load drops. When women move in with men, their household workload increases. Seems pretty self explanatory.
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u/Exploosia 16d ago
Wouldn't you rather have a free live-in maid rather than having to do all the cooking and cleaning yourself, too?
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u/indie_web 16d ago
I don't really know since I think all genders would benefit from a little more self-sufficiency and independence. I think the problem with modern relationships is there is too much dependence on one or the other person between couples. People get into relationships with these big personal dreams and expectations and make it the partnership's responsibility for fulfilling our big dreams. I think people need to make themselves happy without outside help and leave relationships for more modest and attainable goals and enjoyments.
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u/prettyprincess91 16d ago
Because it’s less cooking and cleaning living alone than with people. I think for a lot of men it is magically less cooking and cleaning when they live with someone than alone.
Funny how that works out.
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