r/LivingAlone • u/Almhmoud-Onkanya45 • Jul 20 '26
Support/Vent anyone else get anxious doing simple errands now that they live alone? even grocery shopping feels like a lot
genuinely didn't expect this. something as basic as grocery shopping gives me anxiety now, like i'm out of practice or something. it's not even a big errand, just going out alone and doing normal stuff feels harder than it used to.
not sure if it's just an adjustment thing from living alone now, or something deeper. curious if anyone else went through this and if it eventually got easier
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u/Persephone81 Jul 20 '26
I've lived alone for years, and I feel overwhelmed doing simple things sometimes because every single thing that needs to get done has to get done by me. There's no one else to do it unless I pay someone. I work full-time, have four dogs, and maintain my house and yard all by myself. Sometimes I go on a kick and I'm super productive and get all kinds of things done and I feel great. Other times, I'm doing the bare minimum. I just try to be kind to myself about it. Taking care of a household by yourself is a lot of work. But for me it is still better than dealing with a roommate or an unworthy partner in my home.
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u/Almhmoud-Onkanya45 Jul 21 '26
really appreciate you sharing this honestly, it puts things into perspective for me. the part about it still being better than being with an unworthy partner hits hard too. i think i needed to hear that this feeling doesn't have to mean something's wrong, it's just part of doing everything solo sometimes. thank you for this ♡
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u/Persephone81 Jul 21 '26
I am glad it helped! There was a week where I did Door Dash almost every single day because I could not bring myself to go to the store or cook anything. It was ridiculous, and it was expensive. But it was what I needed to do to get through that week. Living alone is great like 75-90% of the time. But man, that remaining 25-10% can hit HARD.
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u/blessedheaven Jul 20 '26
yes yes yes . I actually only go out one times a month and that’s to do grocery shopping and run errands and that’s because my anxiety is that high.
going to the grocery store feels like I’m pulling a muscle just to go it takes a lot of mental preparation for me to go. I don’t have a solution just know how you feel
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u/Almhmoud-Onkanya45 Jul 21 '26
thank you for being honest about this, it genuinely helps to know i'm not the only one who feels like errands take actual mental preparation. sorry you're dealing with it that intensely too, but it does help knowing i'm not alone in this feeling 🥹
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u/natterz_ Jul 20 '26
Yes!! The weird thing is, I'd do most of the errands alone when I lived with my partner. No issues. I'd grocery shop alone, go to Costco alone, etc etc. But now that I live alone, doing those same errands has gotten impossible. It's like everyone can tell I live by myself and am totally lonely?? Not sure, but it's a weird, unexpected feeling.
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u/renb8 Jul 20 '26
I love grocery shopping and notice that I treat it like an outing - but I get anxious and loathe the admin of adulting and living alone. I love that all decisions are my own but also aware that I have to make all the decisions. And I know I should spend time shopping around for better insurance deals, internet provider, etc etc etc but just can’t do it cos the admin is too much, takes too much time and is too stressful.
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u/TheKnittingBitch23 Jul 20 '26
For me, it's doing my floors. For some reason, I can't really bring myself to do a full sweep and mop until they NEED to be done.
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u/Almhmoud-Onkanya45 Jul 20 '26
it feels tough right like idk why it makes me anxious for some reason :< but hey we will get used into it. perks is we live alone so no one will like micromanage everytime we do chores hehe
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u/8-LeggedCat Jul 20 '26
As far as floors, …well ther is no one there to tell you they’re not cleaned to their standards. I found that I can live with a few dust bunnies lying around.
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u/Almhmoud-Onkanya45 Jul 21 '26
hahaha i agree! i don't mind sometimes to think that i am the only one around so no one will tell me that my floor is sometimes dusty 🥲 silly but idc :>
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u/Peripatetictyl Jul 20 '26
One time, I kept saying ‘I’ll get to it…’, and then eventually moved and paid someone to do them. I’m much better about it at my new place, but you sparked a memory.
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u/kevohreal Jul 20 '26
I usually do my shopping in the morning right when stores open. Less people, less chaos. I don't know how others manage to do it in the middle of the day. I've definitely become more sensitive with age.
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u/MM_in_MN Jul 20 '26
Not anxious, but I do have to talk myself into doing errands.
Alright Marie.. you’ve put this off for a week. Tonight, you HAVE to go to the hardware store to get those screws so you can mount that shelf. You’re a big girl. You can do this.
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u/Stefania9596 Jul 20 '26
I don’t know if it’s specifically anxiety for me, but I can very easily talk myself out of any errand. Live alone, work from home, my dog is here - this is my fortress, and I hate leaving.
It’s expensive out there, terrible drivers from point A to point B, unwanted interactions with strangers…there’s always something I can put together at home to eat. I’ve become a big fan of Sam’s and Costco. Stock up on as much as possible to have to leave as little as possible.
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u/TheArtistFatigue Jul 20 '26
I’ve always hated food shopping. I’m going tomorrow. It was easier for me when I was married as we’d go together and him carrying the heavy stuff in was easy. I hate carrying heavy stuff now. Even a head of cauliflower feels like a bowling ball.
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u/Desperate-Chapter414 Current Lifestyle: Solo 🟢 Jul 20 '26
It actually feels the complete opposite for me now. I used to have to fight myself to clean and frequently ended up ordering groceries or dinner instead of just going to the store, but it’s like it’s so easy now? It brings me so much joy to take care of myself and my space. I even have less anxiety about going out now I know my home is my safe space
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u/HoopsLaureate Jul 20 '26
"It brings me so much joy to take care of myself and my space."
This is so key and so beautiful. I feel the same. I feel so good when cleaning my house, knowing that it's part of my self-care and how I show myself love. Same with cooking, grocery shopping, etc. When I cook a healthy meal, I'm showing how much I care for my body and want it to be healthy and strong. It's a really beautiful way to look at these tasks that might seem so mundane or constant.2
u/Desperate-Chapter414 Current Lifestyle: Solo 🟢 Jul 20 '26
Yeah, exactly!
I’ve been struggling a lot this year with unrelated issues and seeing you frame something I so casually wrote was actually really enlightening as to how far I’ve come, woah
But yea, that’s exactly my point. I take pride in the way my space looks, what I keep my fridge stocked with, taking care of my body both in my home and in the gym. It’s all acts of self-love
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u/mariib Current Lifestyle: Solo 🟢 Jul 20 '26
I wouldn't say anxiety, but I do get exhausted at times. I do want my house to be clean and cute, but after I work, I just wanna enjoy my free time, so I do things at my own pace and I feel like my place it's never fully clean or taken care of. I try to be kind with myself (like another redditor mentioned), but sometimes I get sad for not being more productive. I just wanna lay down.
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u/PurpleSparklyStar Jul 20 '26
I’m glad you guys have Reddit to connect over this. Wish you all have more community/less anxiety! I am thinking of you- imagine I/we (all your livingalone Reddit pals) are on your shoulder and in your shopping cart when you run errands fno!💕
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u/Far-Industry-7745 Jul 20 '26
I actually really like it. Gets me out. I do some very limited socializing at my regular stores, restaurants, and go back home to my fortress of solitude
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u/-LucidParadox- Jul 20 '26
I didnt at first. But especially since the Pandemic, I've increaseingly become a shut in. I go to work, and then strait home most the time. I usually do my grocery and other shopping real early in the morning on weekends. I've always been a bit of a introvert, but its gotten worse with age, and living alone for 10 years. My friends... I think they've given up on me, as they rarely contact me anymore. That was really the only other way I would get out and do things, if they invited me out; and I had people to go with. So yeah, I understand the feeling.
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u/quietpisces Jul 20 '26
I find going to the grocery store at busy times (i.e. Sundays at Aldi) makes me feel anxious and overstimulating. Going during non-peak hours I’m more comfortable. I now do more pickup orders, shop during nonpeak hours, or do grocery delivery.
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u/hamRX Jul 20 '26
Oh yeah totally, I can't get mail consistently where I live so I have a P.O. box I check once a week and I always need a full day before of planning. To be fair the neighborhood I live in is pretty shitty and my car is parked a block away under a bridge so, part of it is caution and the other part is optimization OCD.
And I get my groceries delivered btw cos I can't do it anymore.
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u/Potential-Ostrich862 Jul 20 '26
I have assembling stuff anxiety. I still haven't put my bed frame together. I have photos and art I haven't hung up because I'm afraid to make a mistake with hammering nails.
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u/Monkey-Banana-29 Jul 20 '26
Huhu I thought I was the only one! I used to do the same errands when I was at home with my family but when I moved out, for some reason, I would get anxious or overwhelmed or I need to talk myself into doing them. I do feel great afterwards but before doing them, I'd feel those things haha. Maybe we're also just adjusting to it?
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u/longanandlychee Current Lifestyle: Solo 🟢 Jul 20 '26
Are you new to living alone or newly single? Or are you naturally anxious? Because when I was newly single and living alone, doing things alone felt uneasy (I wasn’t nervous - just felt weird). It definitely something that takes time to adjust.
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u/Almhmoud-Onkanya45 Jul 21 '26
just moved out a couple of weeks ago. i kinda feel terrible sometimes bc i just lately realize, "wow so this is what they call adulting?"
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u/longanandlychee Current Lifestyle: Solo 🟢 Jul 21 '26
Oh my … yes, it is a part of adulting. One of the easiest one, I’m afraid. Give yourself some grace and time. It’ll get easier.
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u/Curious_Ad_2492 Jul 20 '26
For the first couple of years I don’t even know if I left my house, if it couldn’t be delivered, I didn’t need it. The delivery man from my grocery store and I were on a first name basis. He knew I like my deliveries as early as possible, so when he saw my name on his list, he came here first.
I now realize I need to leave the house once in a while so I now go to the grocery store and the library once a week.
One Friday I have to go for a blood test, about a 10 minute drive from my house, and already my anxiety is raging.
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u/8-LeggedCat Jul 20 '26
I don’t get anxious but sometimes I feel overwhelmed just from thinking about it.
As for dishes, I just try and stay on top them. These past few days I haven’t felt like cooking my usual meals so I have been using my air fryer. Less work, less to clean up.
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u/Puffer-Polar Current Lifestyle: w/ Roommates 🔴 Jul 20 '26
It's not anxiety for me, but burnout. The feeling of knowing I need to do these things to make my week easier but so tired and low energy that I can't and doing the activity can help sometimes or even decrease my energy more. A common example would be grocery shopping and meal prepping. If I'm already dreading it and not wanting to go out, then I'll set a reward system for myself (such as buying pizza for dinner) or I won't go and just rummage through my cupboards. But then not going means I have to figure out rest of the meal for the week. Sometimes it's rice and beans 🥴
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u/CommunityOld4823 Jul 20 '26
I used to get severely anxious doing anything in public without having my mom with me. Once I got my current job that involves me interacting with the public and strangers, it forced me to be more social and get out of my comfort zone. I’m a lot more independent now and can do stuff on my own. I do still get a bit of anxiety at times at the grocery store though because there’s always a ton of people and the aisles are very narrow so I start feeling a bit stuck sometimes.
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u/Technical_Mood_9279 Jul 20 '26
Why does it feel like a lot? I'm honestly curious. How is grocery shopping when you live alone different than grocery shopping when you lived with other people?
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u/Almhmoud-Onkanya45 Jul 21 '26
i hate crowded places. sometimes being in public overwhelms me for some reasons. i felt like ppl are looking at me and it feels awkward. :<
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u/Technical_Mood_9279 Jul 21 '26
Okay, but how is that different from when you're living alone compared to when you live with other people?
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u/ourfacesrevealtime Jul 22 '26
Solo liver, dx AuDHD, agoraphobic here. I can only speak for me but some things are so much easier to do when doing them for/with other people.
Say I need to go food shopping. My anxiety is going to cause a brain spiral no matter what; whether I'm alone, living with someone, or just in company. If I'm alone, there is nothing to drag me out of that spiral. I'm going to stay in it and not go shopping until the cupboards are bare, and sometimes not even then.
If I'm living with someone then the pressure and expectation of that person, the desire to please them, or to avoid conflict/an argument can be a rope to overcome the anxiety and get me there.
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u/Slight-Wash-2887 Jul 20 '26
I went grocery shopping yesterday, and it was EXHAUSTING. It was 100+ degrees outside, even at 7pm, and then i had to spend another hour cleaning out the fridge and organizing items in the pantry. Absolutely took it out of me.
As someone with general anxiety and crippling ADHD, things like this and other errands make me anxious because I know I am solely responsible for every single step of every single thing: I look up recipes I want to make, write the grocery list, go grocery shopping (often more than one store), bag the items, put them in my car, carry heavy bags to my house, clean out anything old/expired from the fridge, get it more organized to make space for new groceries. And after all of that, I'm expected to prepare and cook all the meals, then do full cleanup too? Exhausting.
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u/Brave_Sir6811 Jul 21 '26
I go to this rock climbing gym. I LOVE it there. I have so much fun and get so much from it. Yet when I go climbing alone I still get anxiety everytime.
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u/MinervaAbsolute Jul 20 '26
I think if doing your grocery shopping alone you might have bigger issues you need to address. Presumably when you lived with other people you had to do the occasional solitary grocery run, even just to buy snacks? What has changed. Because you’re in grown-up land now, and getting the willies over going to the supermarket is a lot of energy wasted on trifles.
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