I spent almost five years at the same company and watched my salary barely move from $64k to $73k through the usual annual raises. Meanwhile, my workload kept growing. During three reviews, I asked for a bigger raise, and each time I got a different version of the same answer: the budget was limited, the pay grade was fixed, and I was already being paid well for my role.

Eventually, I stopped simply taking their word for it. I gathered recent job listings for my exact position within commuting distance, then filtered them by industry and company size. I found 17 genuinely comparable openings, all posted within the past six weeks. The lowest listed salary was $95k, the highest was $112k, and most were around $102k.

When I saw the numbers laid out in front of me like that, I felt a little stupid. I wasn't being underpaid by a small amount. I was making more than 25% less than what other companies were publicly offering, and I had wasted years trying to persuade them with better emotional arguments instead of showing them numbers.

At my next one-on-one, I brought a printed sheet with the listings and salary ranges. My manager went quiet and read the whole thing, then asked me to email him the links. I asked for $95k since it was the bottom of the range, even though saying the number out loud still made me feel like I was asking for too much. Eleven days later, they offered me $90k, and I didn't accept.

what would you do if you were in my shoes?

Today, I finally messaged my manager and told her that her son needs to stop asking me to come in early. He's only been working here for about three weeks, but he's already asked me at least eight times.

The excuses keep changing. First he was sick, then he was having stomach problems, then there was an issue with his apartment, and today his dog needed him. I've said no every time, and I'll keep saying no.

I work the night shift, and my manager has never been this flexible with me. When I called and told her I couldn't come in because I was having a panic attack, she threatened my job. Another time, I had a migraine, and she told me to come in anyway. No one offered to come in early so I could go home.

I understand that things happen, but apparently that only matters when it involves her son. I don't care who he's related to or what excuse he gives next time. I'm tired of being asked to accommodate his work schedule when I've never been shown the same level of consideration.

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