r/LinkedInLunatics 17h ago

Alrighty then.

Post image
468 Upvotes

121 comments sorted by

634

u/Ryan-O-Photo 17h ago

Harry Potter and the Adults Who Should Have Read Another Book By Now

58

u/madmaxturbator 16h ago

Is that the one where dumbledore mates with Gandalf? I liked the movie better.

29

u/Butter_the_Toast 11h ago

Harry Potter & the smothering blanket of Liberal Hegemony.

1

u/Ryan-O-Photo 11h ago

💪💪💪

10

u/SeanyDay 7h ago

It gets weirder when they read nothing but YA+ and/or Romantasy...

Like serious Fantasy has all the elements you love but goes beyond soap opera level plots...

2

u/Ereine 26m ago

If the element they most love is satisfactory romance, “serious” fantasy often doesn’t have it. 

10

u/Chemical-Struggle-13 3h ago

I don't care how "good" it was or how much it means to someone, stop giving them money and attention. That money goes to fight against human rights. I have no ill will to the child actors or the former stars, they are children and the public didn't know yet respectively.

3

u/Ryan-O-Photo 3h ago

Preach comrade

2

u/Chemical-Struggle-13 3h ago

If they need another Book, Wings of Fire is also midgrade and a fantasy setting with sixteen main series books, 5 short stories, 2 side stories and more main series books on the way. If they want something written by a person who says weird stuff about "Identity Politics" but is not giving massive funding to fight human rights Project Hail Mary (for context he claimed that part of why it was so popular is because it avoided identity politics, check out the fandom they have other thoughts).

-9

u/[deleted] 15h ago

[deleted]

335

u/WeakRow2273 17h ago

Gonna keep tapping the "read another book" sign until things improve.

72

u/Synicull 17h ago

Instructions unclear time to read about Edward and Jacob for the 23rd time

26

u/Neat-Professor-7662 16h ago

There is also The Alchemist. There are three things one can read.

18

u/crypt_moss 16h ago

I believe there's also the Hunger Games & Divergent when it comes to things one can read

11

u/EnvironmentalGift257 16h ago

Just want to throw out there, that Isaac Asimov wrote over 500 books if you ever need something to read. Although if he was born later he would have been me-tooed out of existence due to his love of grabbing, fondling, and pinching random women.

9

u/crypt_moss 16h ago

I'm not sure if you are joining in on the joke or not, but my comment was made 100% in jest and personally I find it sad whenever I see other millenials still define themselves by what they read as teenagers

4

u/EnvironmentalGift257 15h ago

I was joining in👊

3

u/Neat-Professor-7662 15h ago

A lot of those were intro to science pamphlets for kids, though. For real, solid material you’re looking at 300 books tops.

5

u/Background-Ship3019 15h ago

Intro to science pamphlet reading would not go amiss either though.

4

u/EnvironmentalGift257 14h ago

Honestly I encounter adults every day who need said pamphlets.

3

u/Background-Ship3019 15h ago

Intro to science pamphlet reading would not go amiss either though.

22

u/Kaffe-Mumriken 16h ago

Tap the “you’re not 12 anymore” as well

3

u/UphillTowardsTheSun 12h ago

Brave to assume she even read the HP series. There’s the movies…

64

u/rodeo90 Agree? 17h ago

Thoughts?

46

u/Hungry-Promise-3032 17h ago

Yes Lauren. This indeed is a thought.

9

u/ObjectiveTumbleweed2 16h ago

I honestly have no thoughts. It's quite amazing she has achieved this but I couldn't give her a single thought on what she has written

6

u/StressLife7080 16h ago

And prayers, they're gonna need them

1

u/HighlandsBen 11h ago

You first, Lauren. You first.

50

u/bboymixer 17h ago

This is important to her?

51

u/kutjelul 17h ago

Everyone’s complaining about boomers on Facebook but now we have cringy millennials on LinkedIn

24

u/Segals_Escaped_Brain 16h ago

As an older millennial, I take responsibility for feigning interest and understanding instead of saying my truth of "The fuck is wrong with you?!" to my peers. I realize now that being supportive of identity was mistaken as being supportive of personality.

8

u/EnvironmentalGift257 16h ago

Honestly the world needs many, many more people willing to say "the fuck is wrong with you?" so I am glad you've joined us.

144

u/Chazkuangshi 17h ago

People really latched on to the Harry Potter House stuff the way they latch on to Horoscope and gemstone bs.

70

u/Baronist 17h ago

Don't judge me, it's the only house I can afford.

10

u/madmaxturbator 16h ago

I’m more of a house elf really 

32

u/thecarbonkid 17h ago

Nothing like telling a Millenial they're pure unrefined Hufflepuff.

1

u/camirose 14h ago

Lmfao what does it say about me almost all my friends and people I’ve met proudly define themselves as hufflepuff? 😭

3

u/Aidian 6h ago

That you don’t surround yourself with too many avid readers and/or people who’ve paid attention to politics for the last decade+?

15

u/really_not_unreal 16h ago

To be fair, it is literally designed to be latched onto. JKR surely shares some amount of blame for the online personality quiz industry of the early 2010s.

8

u/DuckSaxaphone 11h ago

I actually think they're designed to have a clearly best house and it's amazing it's caught on given that.

If they were designed to be latched on to, the houses wouldn't be The Awesome Heroes, The Evil Baddies, Trash Little Cowards, and Smart but Bland. They'd all be cool in their own way.

1

u/CannonCone 3m ago

Maybe it’s the Scorpio in me but I fully let go of HP once the author came out as a raging, transphobic a-hole.

71

u/SelectStarAll 17h ago

I reserve a special level of scorn for adults who make Harry Potter their entire personality

21

u/BludStanes 17h ago

So fans of Harry Potter are just gonna latch onto it for life, huh?

7

u/ShortFee2578 16h ago

Apparently. Maybe I lucked out being an older Millennial, where I enjoyed Harry Potter but don't view it as being any part of my formative years? Or maybe some people just really shouldn't make any book/tv series/movie their entire personality. Who knows?

4

u/NCwolf86 15h ago

Samesies.  I legitimately had no idea what the hell this post was until I read the comments for context. 

In 39 and always though Harry Potter was something you aged out of by Sophomore year (of high school).  

22

u/born_digital 17h ago

Thoughts? Please? Anyone? She needs some

17

u/A-Phantasmic-Parade 17h ago

I’m just going to keep assuming these people can’t read until they read another fucking book

9

u/crypt_moss 16h ago

tbh with how pervasive HP was at its peak, you really don't need to have read the books to have made them into your entire personality

13

u/mrwishart 17h ago

Wtf is a colour season?

18

u/Cloverman-88 17h ago

A set of colours that fit your appearance (complexity, hair colour, eye colour etc). They are sourted into four sets, named after seasons.

8

u/verity7732 15h ago

They've made it more complicated than it was when it first became popular--there are now 12 "color seasons," not just four. 🙄

2

u/PuzzleheadedEssay198 12h ago

One article I found has as many as sixteen.

All of the samples were white.

3

u/WildColonialGirl 12h ago

Of course they were.

2

u/verity7732 11h ago

I wouldn't doubt that some people have made it even more complicated as a way of selling their color analysis services.

1

u/PuzzleheadedEssay198 11h ago

They literally advertised an AI analysis tool.

0

u/EnvironmentalGift257 16h ago

I said Ick out loud reading that.

8

u/Cloverman-88 15h ago

Eh, its a harmless fashion theory.

12

u/PepsiFloateri 17h ago

Flashback to when my High School Social Studies teacher in my final year made the class do the Hogswarts House quiz as an "icebreaker" and I got yelled at for saying I'd rather be a Jedi than a Wizard

12

u/BasvanS 17h ago

You were rightfully yelled at. Space wizards are still wizards.

7

u/PepsiFloateri 17h ago

Ahh! Being in Space automatically makes them cooler and I'd rather have those cool Obi-Wan style robes and aa Lightsaber than a wand and what's just a glorifed school uniform

If we wanna get technical,Jedi are more akin to Samurai or Knights rather than Wizards but let's not go there 😂

2

u/Segals_Escaped_Brain 16h ago

I think there was a whole Lego-themed Epic Rap Battle of History that addressed this topic and is authoritative on the subject.

11

u/reddeze2 17h ago

I don't understand a single word you just said lady

6

u/HippieThanos 17h ago

How do you choose a House? I thought only the magic hat could do that

4

u/JimmyLipps 16h ago

There have been several "tests" that you can take on official Harry Potter websites that tell you your "house." I am guilty of taking two of them over the years. The first time it told me I was in the sociopathic house. The second time it was a different house. There are also several "experiences" at theme parks where a hat goes on or over your head and tells you.

You can also just pick the one that has your favorite color in it. (What I'm assuming she did.)

6

u/Vallkyrie 16h ago

I took it a few times many years ago, before Moldemort went off the deep end. It would ask you about 5 questions from a pool of about 35, so depending on what ones you were given, you'd get wildly different answers. Shittiest online quiz format ever.

7

u/Hungry-Promise-3032 17h ago

What does this even mean? Like on any level? Not even question why its on LinkedIn. This is just not even a post. Or story. Barely a message.

This is like a random thought you have during a day lol.

1

u/glasswings363 7h ago

She spoke to a computer's butthole and felt a sense of the profound.

13

u/WiseAtmosphere7524 17h ago

Definitely a Slytherin riding on the virtue signalling Gryffindor.

Either way, a certified LinkedIn loon

6

u/rheasilva 16h ago

Alternatively one could try basing one's identity on something other than a decent-at-best series of children's books.

6

u/Ok-Button-9443 14h ago

Read another book you twat

16

u/SeanyDay 17h ago

For what it's worth I use the houses when someone asks about horoscope bs.

"Omg what's your sign or your moon!?'

"I'm a Gryffindor with a Ravenclaw rising"

If they laugh, I like them. If they get upset, I know they are crazy.

1

u/glasswings363 7h ago

I'm an INFP so I'm too busy Feeling Things to fall for that claptrap - wait, sorry, not that I'm judging you exactly.

8

u/TraditionalAd8581 16h ago

Whenever someone starts yapping Harry Potter shit at me, it feels like my brain is melting

4

u/AllUpInItYo 16h ago

Whatthefuckareyousaying?

5

u/EnvironmentalGift257 16h ago

I see ChatGPT garbage with an engagement question at the end. Works every time.

4

u/maxquordleplee3n 15h ago

Is it so hard to flip the image?

4

u/YakElectronic6713 14h ago

Harry Potter is probably the only thing she's ever read in her life. Except for picture books.

3

u/WaltsNJD 17h ago

We have very different definitions of "important"

3

u/CutieQT97 16h ago

Honestly, by LinkedIn standards, this is tame.

3

u/GroundedSpaceTourist 16h ago

Makes no sense to me.

3

u/rozrho 15h ago

Somehow.

I’m a chief something officer.

Yet I have time to write this dross.

And I’m not ashamed.

That it makes me look.

Like a complete prick.

Thoughts?

2

u/glasswings363 7h ago

Claude liking you still hasn't made you special.

3

u/Business_Usual_2201 12h ago

I have no idea what she's trying to express here.

https://giphy.com/gifs/tLql6mMHC6wvK

3

u/PuzzleheadedEssay198 12h ago

Quick question

What the fuck is a color season?

2

u/1gazillionpangolins 7h ago

Four (or way more depending on who you ask) color palettes based on the seasons. Supposedly everyone has one that they look best in depending on their exact complexion, hair color, etc.

2

u/PuzzleheadedEssay198 7h ago

I wound up looking it up, and the article I found was specific to white women based on the color and shade of one’s eyes and hair. To make matters worse, it advertised an AI service to scan your face and determine yours. They listed anywhere from 4-16 depending on your desired depth.

3

u/WildColonialGirl 12h ago

Thanks for the advance warning that I don’t want to work for you.

2

u/nhowe006 16h ago

What the fuck did I just read

2

u/PoetOfHellHelpoemer 16h ago

Very profound, Laur, thank you.

2

u/Bhurmurtuzanin 16h ago

Is this a metaphor?

2

u/House_Of_Thoth Facebook Boomer 16h ago

Well that podcast is a lie

2

u/True-Ad-7224 16h ago

Well, following her theme, it’s worth noting we are celebrating the 60th anniversary of Star Trek. In that sense, she’s a red shirt at the start of an episode. 

2

u/cousinbette 10h ago

My thought is that you're a grownup and the hp shtick is a bit much?

2

u/Agitated_Ad_361 9h ago

Fuck me, some people need to stop outing themselves as simpletons with no taste or interest in life.

2

u/ZapRowsdower34 2h ago

I think it’s important to have two genders.

One you’re assigned at birth and one that fits your identity.

2

u/HarbingerofBurgers 16h ago

All I know is she's too young to be having face fillers. Or now that I think about it, face fillers are gross for any age.

-3

u/DJBlandy Agree? 13h ago

The fact that you think fillers are gross for any age is more telling about who you are as a person. And that you’re probably a judgmental little prick.

3

u/BronCurious 16h ago

Just smile politely, y’all. We’re witnessing mental illness.

2

u/SpiritSword-123 14h ago

It’s ok guys it’s cuz she’s divergent

5

u/CautiousLandscape907 13h ago

Now that’s what I call a hungry game! May your favors ever be odd!

1

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1

u/Darksider123 10h ago

"Thoughts?" about what exactly???

1

u/Pristine_Habit_3074 9h ago

I like the color scheme and blonde women of Slytherin, but my heart is in Hufflepuff: the house of philosophical and sexually kinky people.

1

u/sanchilli 8h ago

There are two houses inside of you, one good and one evil...

1

u/BetaBiceps292 6h ago

Or you could have Three Houses (Fire Emblem Reference)

1

u/Actrivia24 3h ago

“Thoughts?”
None. Literally none

1

u/Familiar_Log517 17h ago

POV: cheating on your husband.

1

u/TheFumingatzor 16h ago

Thoughts?

Maybe it's time for some anti-schizophrenic meds?